Page 37 of The Broposal

When we got up the steps, my stomach dropped as my phone rang with a familiar tone.

Jackie.

She was probably calling to either get back at me or get back together.

Han sighed, noticing her name on my phone. I answered anyway.

“Hey,” she said casually as I finally found my footing and made my way to the door, one step in front of the other. She spoke like nothing had changed. She always did when she wanted to “get over” a breakup. “I stopped by earlier, but you weren’t home.”

“What are you doing? We—we broke up.” I hated how the sadness seeped into my voice at the words “broke up.”

“Oh, come on. We both know you didn’t mean that. I forgive you,” she said, voice as sweet as honey.

“I—we can’t… I did mean it. I—” I rubbed my neck, and Han turned around, giving me a questioning look. It was the same look he’d given me before kicking Adam out. I guess that look meant something along the lines of “Do you need help?” I knew if I’d let on that I didn’t want to talk to Jackie, he’d swoop in at a moment’s notice and shun her like he had Adam. He’d done it to Jackie in the past, too, making up excuses there was no chance she’d believe. It usually only made hermoreangry, though. I muted myself before answering Han, knowing he could misread any nonverbal cues if I didn’t outright tell him what I needed.

“It’s fine,” I finally said. It was probably best for me to tell her myself instead of dragging Han into it.

Han looked suspicious, which made me feel guilty. There was no way I was getting back with Jackie, especially after agreeing to marry Han. But I could understand Han’s fear. Jackie and I had a kind of pattern.

“It’ll be okay.” I hoped he knew I’d never betray him. We were doing this. Han nodded, and I unmuted the phone as we went inside.

“Why are you calling me?” I finally asked.

“I told you. I’m ready to get back together,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Um, what if I’m n—”

“So, let’s just pretend this whole thing never happened, okay?”

“I… can’t do that.”

I could almost hear her seething. “Why not?”

I felt my heart racing, and I realized I would have been better off letting Han make an excuse for me.

“I have to go, sorry.”

“Kenny!” she shouted, but I was already pressing “end call.” I backed up against the door and slid down to sit on the ground with my hand over my chest, my heart pounding with the quick rise and fall of my breath. Luna came running with her tail wagging, trying to calm me.

“Smooth,” Han said without looking away from the TV, where he was scrolling through looking forCoco.

My phone rang again, but I ignored it. I moved to sit on the couch with Han as Luna followed, as if Han could protect me from the big scary Jackie in my phone.

“You okay?” There was no judgment in Han’s tone, and he looked genuinely concerned.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “I meant it when I said that choice was easy, but she just… gets to me, you know?” I felt my voice crack as I remembered Jackie’s palm striking my cheek. I envied Han’s ability to keep his emotions under wrap. I couldn’t even keep my voice steady because of one slap. I stopped myself before telling Han about that part. I knew he wouldn’t judge, but something about telling him she slapped me in the middle of traffic felt wrong. I guess I didn’t want to admit it out loud. Somehow Han seemed to get the general feeling behind my lack of words.

“She’s abusive, bro. I’m glad you got out.”

“She’s not—” I started, but Han interrupted by flicking out the palm of his hand.

“She tried to control every part of your life. Remember senior year? If it wasn’t for me and Leti, she would have completely isolated you.”

I hung my head. It was true that things got particularly bad that year. That was when Jackie’s parents got divorced, and she got way more controlling. I guess she needed to feel in control ofsomething, and I was right there.

But Han was wrong. Jackie may have wanted me to drop Han, but she hadn’tforcedme. I could have broken up with her back then, but I couldn’t bear to put her through more pain when she was already going through so much. Of course I felt terrible about distancing myself from Han, but I’d done it. Still, I hadn’t been the only one.

“It was more of Leti doing an intervention for both of us, and you know it.”

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