Page 58 of The Broposal

“What do you want? Top Ramen or Hot Pockets?” Those were practically our only food options right now. We really needed to go grocery shopping. I would have gotten some groceries when I went to Walmart, but I didn’t want Han to be waiting for me any longer than he needed to. It was probably for the best that I didn’t, too, since Luna probably had to go soon.

“Hot Pockets,” Han mumbled, and I obliged, popping a couple in the microwave on a folded paper towel so neither of us would have any dishes to wash. I leaned against the counter as they heated up.

“How bad is it, do you think?”

“My hand is fine. It’s a shallow cut. But my ankle’s definitely broken, or at least badly sprained. I can’t put any weight on it at all.”

“Shit… How are you gonna work on Friday?”

“On one foot.” Han let out a single laughing breath, but he wasn’t smiling.

The timer dinged, and I brought Han his steaming Hot Pockets, which I was sure would somehow still manage to be cold on the inside. I wished I could make something better right now. Han deserved something better. He deserved better in general. But that was why we were doing this. Whether Jackie wanted me to or not, whether she was pregnant or not, we were doing this.

Before Han took his first bite, Luna got the zoomies and started spinning around in circles. I laughed at first, until she zoomed right into the table where Thornelius was perched. He was supposed to be safely out of Luna’s reach, but I never thought she’d slam into the table!

Thornelius wobbled a bit before falling to the ground. I ran to try to catch him, but it was too late. He hit the floor hard, separating from the pot and sliding toward the couch where Han sat. Thornelius’s now naked bottom revealed a block of Styrofoam stuck to the base where his roots should have been. The top hat fell off, and his monocle stared off into the ceiling, the thorns behind it making a perfectx, confirming his death.

Han started cracking up. “Wait, he’s plastic?”

I couldn’t laugh, though. Instead, I fell to my knees as I stared at Thornelius through tear-blurred eyes, unable to speak. Han was usually the one to have panic attacks, but I could tell something was wrong in my chest. My throat tightened, and every breath was begging to be let out as a sob. Han stoppedlaughing and frantically maneuvered himself onto the floor next to Thornelius in a panic. “Hey, it’s okay. Look, he’s fine! Everything’s fine!”

He quickly took Thornelius in his hands and put him back in the pot, then grabbed the top hat and placed it gingerly on his head, straightening the monocle, then looked up at me, nodding and smiling.

“Good as new, see?” He held Thornelius toward me, arms outstretched.

I took Thornelius in my arms and did my best to cradle him, but I couldn’t help it. I just started sobbing.

“Bro, bro, bro, what’s wrong?” he asked, overdoing the “bro” thing like he was desperate to take any of the intensity out of this whole situation.

“It’s my fault!” I sobbed. “I should have just taken Luna on her damn walk!”

“Whoa, no, it’s not your fault. She gets excited sometimes, that’s all. It’s no big deal, okay? Look, Luna’s fine. Thornelius is fine. Everyone’s happy!”

“None of this is fine, Han!” I snapped. “If I can’t even take care of Luna for one fucking hour, how the hell am I supposed to take care of a baby? Thornelius isn’t evenaliveand Ikilledhim! What am I supposed to do with a human child?”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Han reassured me, sounding panicked himself. “Don’t worry. You’re years away from that kind of responsibility.”

“Jackie’s pregnant!” I blurted out before Han could get any more confused.

There was a long silence before Han said anything. His brows furrowed as he seemed to put the pieces together. “Bro…”

“Yeah…”

“You’re joking.” Han hissed in pain as he shifted his body so he was sitting right across from where I knelt.

“Dead serious,” I said. “I talked to her today.”

“And you believe her?”

“What?Of course I believe her!”

“I’m just saying. She could be lying. Maybe she’s just trying to manipulate you into getting back together with her.”

“She’s not.” My voice was harsher than I’d meant it to be. The words came out like a warning for Han to drop it. I knew Jackie. Yes, she was capable of being manipulative at times, but Han hadn’t seen her earlier. He hadn’t seen her puffy eyes or her red nose. Jackie was never able to fake emotion like that.

“All right, all right. So she’s pregnant. What’s she gonna do?”

“Keep it, I think…” I wiped the tears pooling in my eyes.

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