Page 7 of The Broposal

I poured myself a glass of water. To ground myself, I stared at the Han Solo posters on the wall behind the couch—where Kenny got the nickname for me, my full name being Alejandro.

I tried to convince myself this talk wasn’t about Jackie or me getting fired. I couldn’t afford this apartment by myself, evenwithmy old job. If Kenny broke the lease, would I have to go back to living with Tío Nacho and Tía Mary? I sipped my water, trying to let the thoughts float away.

“Just say it. You’re freakin’ me out,” I coaxed, hoping my fears were false.

But what Kenny said was worse than I could have imagined.

“Jackie and I are getting married.”

CHAPTER TWO

KENNY

Han! Are you okay?” I hopped off the couch and rushed over to Han to slap his back as he choked on his water.

“Fine…” he managed between coughs. “Maybe I do need to sit down,” he finally said, and we both sat on the sofa. Luna reluctantly slunk to the floor and lay at my feet to make space. Han scratched his chin without saying anything. Just sitting there, disappointed in my life choices, probably. The longer the silence stretched, the farther I shrank into the cushions.

“Say something?” I urged after what must have been a full minute of silence.

“I’m just… processing.” Han stopped scratching and rested his elbows on his knees. “Where did that even come from?”

I knew what he was really saying. That I didn’t seem happy. But Iwashappy. Jackie made me happy. Most of the time, at least.

Besides, what was I supposed to say? That Jackie threatened to break up with me if I didn’t propose? I knew Han didn’tapprove of Jackie, and Jackiereallydidn’t approve of Han. But “no bullshit” was the only fully spoken rule of my relationship with Han. So, honesty it was.

“It was an ultimatum.” Knowing Han, my admitting that part probably guaranteed he’d try to talk me out of it, but I couldn’t lie to Han even if I wanted to. “It was either get married or… break up.” Just saying the words “break up” made my throat tighten. Besides the few “breaks” Jackie and I had taken, I hadn’t been single since early high school. The idea terrified me.

Jackie knew me better than I knew myself. When I wasn’t sure about something, she’d make the choice for me. When I didn’t know what to think or how to feel, she was right there to enlighten me. Who even was I without Jackie? Did I even have a personality of my own? Thoughts, feelings, desires of my own? I wasn’t so sure, and I didn’t want to find out.

I might have been as scared of being single as Han was ofnotbeing single. All I knew was that I didn’t want to be alone, and marrying Jackie ensured that would never happen.

“And you chose… to get married?” Han rubbed his temples.

I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around Luna, who went limp as I picked her sixty pounds up to hold in my lap. A living weighted blanket. I wantedsupport, and Luna had plenty to offer. The weight in my lap felt like the hug I desperately needed.

“Yes.” I swallowed, preparing for a lecture.

“Why?”

“She was going to break up with me…” The words came out before I had a chance to think about them.

“But do youwantto marry her? What doyouwant?”

Leave it to Han to ask these kinds of questions. He alwaysmade sure I factored myself into the equation. I was usually the giver, especially with Jackie. If we disagreed on what to eat, it was her choice we went with. If she was sick, I took care of her. If she was sad, I comforted her. I would do whatever it took to make people happy, my own feelings be damned.

With Han, though, it was a different story. I still wanted to make him happy, but I never had to put myself second to do it.

I thought for a moment before answering. Of course I wanted to get married. I had always wanted the “American dream”—a wedding, kids, a house with a white picket fence. Jackie was offering me just that.

“Yes,” I finally said. A shaky yes, but a yes all the same. But I felt uneasy more than anything. If I wanted to stay friends with Han, I was basically committing my best friend and girlfriend—fiancée—to a lifetime of hating each other. My chest sank. Maybe they could work it out somehow? “Do you think you and Jackie will ever get along?”

“She’s low-key—no,high-key—abusive. You know that, right?”

“What? She literally works at a shelter for abused women. She’s not abusive.” Sure, she was a bit abrasive, maybe a little aggressive, but abusive? No, I could take care of myself.

“Bet she doesn’t think women can perpetuate abuse, huh?” Han said, and I hated that he was probably right. But that didn’t meanJackiewas abusive.

“She just likes to be in control. Because of her parents—”

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