Page 77 of The Broposal

“What about commitment scares you so much?”

I didn’t know how to answer that. I guessed it was because I felt like nothing was guaranteed. Things could be great one day and miserable the next, like they were with Jackie and Kenny. Then again, I was never reallyafraidof commitment so much as uninterested in it. I’d never felt that spark with anyone before like I felt it with Kenny. And I craved that feeling like caffeine. Was I afraid of committing to marrying Kenny? I didn’t think so.

“I’m not scared right now,” I said, relaxing into Kenny’s arms.

“What if I told youI’mscared?”

“What are you scared of?” I asked, and Kenny didn’t answer for another minute.

“I’m scared of hurting you. I don’t want you to be a rebound. You mean too much to me. You mean everything to me.”

Oh. I hadn’t thought of that. Maybe I was a rebound, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Not right now. We could have tonight and worry about all of this tomorrow. Who knows? Sober, we might deny it ever happened. But for now it was real, and for the first time, I didn’t want to run away from that.

“You won’t hurt me. I trust you, babe.”

Kenny smiled at the pet name, then kissed my neck softly. “Mmm. Love you. G’night.”

Maybe Kenny was more drunk than I’d realized, since he was fast asleep before I had a chance to even respond. I didn’t know what I would have said anyway, but I was suddenly wide-awake. We told each other we loved each other plenty of times before, but never after kissing. I was glad Kenny was asleep, because if he wasn’t, I might have said it back and meant it. There was only so much gay awakening a guy could handle in one night. I wasn’t ready to think about that.

For now I thought about kissing Kenny.

CHAPTER THIRTY

KENNY

Iwoke up in the middle of the night to a phone call from Jackie. The alcohol had worn off, and in place of the light floating feeling, I had a dry throat and a throbbing headache. I gently unwrapped myself from Han’s embrace and rolled over to take the call.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m at Bryan’s. Can you come pick me up?”

“Seriously, Jackie?” I asked before realizing I couldn’t be mad about it. Even if Jackie cheated on me with Bryan, we weren’t together anymore. Still, calling me to pick her up from his house was pretty inconsiderate. Then again, when had I ever known her to be considerate?

“Please, Ken…” Her voice shook like she was crying.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I’m okay. I’m drunk, and I want to leave.”

“You’re drunk?” I asked. I didn’t know too much about pregnancy, but I did know alcohol wasn’t exactly a prenatal vitamin.After getting the address, I said, “I’m on my way,” and hung up the phone. I didn’t trust Bryan not to take advantage.

When I rolled back around, I met Han’s worried eyes. “You good?”

“I’m good.” I debated keeping my errand from Han to keep the peace, but he deserved to know. “I just need to pick up Jackie really quick. She’s drunk and needs a ride.”

“She’s drunk?” Han asked, his voice still raspy from sleep.

I nodded.

“Okay. I trust you,” he said, and I responded by giving him a quick kiss on the lips, and he smiled wide.

“Are you still drunk?” he asked.

“No. Are you?”

“No.” Han kissed me again, and I sank into it, my stomach fluttering wildly. We were kissing each other sober, for absolutely no reason other than that we wanted to.

“I’ll be right back,” I assured Han, who went back to sleep almost immediately with a smile on his face.

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