Page 8 of The Broposal

“Nope. Nuh-uh. Maybe her parents being controlling or getting divorced was a good excuse in high school, but she’s grown now.”

“Trauma isn’t linear, though. Just because she’s an adult doesn’t mean she’s healed,” I said, feeling oddly defensive. Handidn’t know Jackie like I did. She just needed some more time and space to heal.

Before her parents’ divorce, we were fine. We were perfect. We could get back to that.

“Okay, well, is shetryingto heal, or does she expect you to do that part for her?” Han asked.

“No! I mean, yes, of course she’s trying to heal. She even said she’s open to getting a therapist.” I gave Luna an extra squeeze, like she was the one who needed to be hugged.

“Didn’t she say that years ago? Has she actually looked for one? Doesn’t she have, like, a million resources for that kind of thing with her job?” I knew Han wasn’t trying to be mean. He was just blunt. Didn’t mean it didn’t bother me.

“Well, if Jackie doesn’t want therapy, I can’t force her,” I said. Sure, maybe she wasn’t actually looking, but it was still her decision.

“My point is, she’s using her parents as a shield for treating you like shit. She’s abusive, I’m telling you. You know she doesn’t have to outright hit you to be abusive?”

I kept my response to myself. Han didn’t have to know that Jackie maybe, occasionally, sometimesdidhit me. He wouldn’t get it. I was a freaking black belt in Taekwondo, but I didn’t need to defend myself against my own girlfriend. Why would I? Han didn’t have to get why Jackie was the way she was. I understood her.

Han sighed when I didn’t respond. “I know I can’t convince you to leave her, but are you really sure about this?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“Yes,” I said, running my hands through Luna’s fur so Han couldn’t see them shaking. I didn’t want to lose Jackie, but Icouldn’t lose Han, either. Did getting married mean I’d have to choose?

“Okay, then.” He sighed. “I’ll play nice, but I won’t like it.” Han wasn’t one to give a sappy “I support you” speech, but sometimes I wished he would. I needed some kind of confirmation that marrying Jackie wouldn’t cost me my best friend.

“Thanks for the support,” I said sarcastically, but Han didn’t catch the tone. He rarely did.

“Sure thing. Love you, bro,” he said. I wasn’t complaining about the affection, but it always bothered me a tiny bit that Han was incapable of saying anything nice without putting “bro” at the end. I wasn’t really sure why. Maybe because it took some of the vulnerability and realness out of the moment. Then again, Han wasn’t exactly the vulnerable type. He gave me a firm shoulder squeeze before heading off to bed. I sat there alone, the warmth from Han’s hand lingering on my shoulder in a way no one else’s touch did.

I woke up the next morning to a phone call from a random number, and I groggily answered, expecting a spam call. Han would make fun of me for always answering random numbers, but you never know when it could be important, right?

And this time it was.

“Hi, I’m looking for Brandon Hawes?” the voice on the other line said, and I immediately knew something was up. Brandon Hawes was Han’s boss. Why would Han give someonemynumber and say it was his?

“May I ask who’s calling?” I asked before giving any information.

“Kaitlin Ford, I’m calling from the ABQ Biopark Aquarium. Alejandro Torres put you down as a job reference.”

I fist pumped the air. Given Han’s love of jellyfish, the aquarium sounded like the perfect fit, and it was about time he got a job he actually enjoyed. Han must not have wanted his boss to know he was looking, so he gave them my number. I jumped into gear, talking up Han’s work ethic, loyalty, and how he was always, always on time. All true.

“He sounds like a great candidate!” Kaitlin said. “If you valued him so much, may I ask what made you let him go?”

The gears in my mind clogged up. Han got fired?

Why wouldn’t he have told me? How long ago had that happened? Was he okay? Wereweokay on rent?

“Mr. Hawes?” The voice sounded fuzzy through the ringing in my ears.

“My apologies.” I cleared my throat, then stumbled over an answer. “Ah, well, you know how it is. Who knew corporate greed had its downfalls?”

She gave a dry laugh. “Thank you for your time, Mr.…Hawes.”

Click.

Shit.

After pacing my room a few times, I swung my door open and made a beeline for the living room, where I could hear Han’s music playing in the background. He sat on the couch, typing away on his laptop.

“You lost your job?” I asked as unantagonistically as I could manage.