Page 90 of The Broposal

“I thought we could all go around and tell some stories abouther. As a celebration of her life,” Tía Mary said, and I wanted to give her a hug. We were having our own little memorial, since I wouldn’t be able to go with them.

“I’ll go first,” Mariana said, adjusting Mateo in her lap. “Istillcrave Tía Linda’s arroz con leche. She used to let me help her make it whenever we went to visit. Ugh. It was amazing. She was such a good cook. And she always let me taste it first before serving the rest.”

I felt a pang of jealousy at Mariana’s words. She was five years older than me, and I had no memory of my mom’s cooking. By the time I was old enough to remember, she’d given up cooking entirely. I didn’t know the woman Mariana knew. Arroz con leche meant nothing to me, no matter how moving it was for Mariana.

“Ahh.” Nacho sighed wistfully. “I’ve tried to learn how to make arroz con leche like Linda, but she must have had some secret recipe she never shared.” He chuckled. “Have I ever told you all the story of how I chipped my tooth?” he asked, and we all shook our heads. “I tried to take turns with Linda playing with one ofmymodel cars. When our mami told her to sharemycar withme, she threw it right in my face. My tooth’s been chipped ever since.” He gave a big belly laugh, as if that was somehow agoodmemory. “She’s always known what she wanted and gone for it. No one could tell her anything.” He wiped a bittersweet tear from his eye.

It went like that for a while. Everyone telling fun stories about my mom. Me, though? I was having trouble thinking of any stories I was fond of. I didn’t have a lot of memories of her, and I hated that everyone else here seemed to, besides maybe Leti, since they were my age.

After every story, everyone would look at me like they expected me to share something, but no one dared to actually ask.

While Mary, Nacho, and Mariana all cried about their happy memories of my mom, I just sat there, jealous. Finally, when it became clear I wasn’t going to say anything, they started wrapping up, hugging one another and me tightly before bringing everything outside.

I didn’t get off the couch once as my tíos and Mariana all dragged their suitcases out to the truck. I knew I should have helped, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I couldn’t do much anyway with my ankle the way it was, but I was still trying to think of something—anything—nice to say.

I finally went out in just my shorts and socks to say my goodbyes, and the cool December air nipped at my skin. I hated watching my family leave me behind, but it was a little better than I imagined it. At least I’d have Leti here with me. We stood next to each other outside in the breeze, watching as the van drove off.

“She liked to sing,” I found myself saying.

“What?” Leti asked.

“My mom. She liked to sing. She was good at it, too. She used to sing to me every night…” I trailed off. It made me wonder if maybe that was why Nacho always wanted me to sing with him in his band. Was it because of my mom?

Leti and I eventually went back inside and sat on the couch. I was in the mood to sing. Maybe for my mom, I wasn’t sure. But when I picked up my guitar, all I found myself doing was ad-libbing about evil people whose only goals in life revolved around ruining mine. God, I hated Jackie so fucking much.

“So, are you gonna tell me what happened?” Leti cut in.

“What?” I stopped strumming.

“With Kenny, tonto.”

Okay, so playing dumb wasn’t a great way to avoid it. Obviously Leti would want to know what happened.

“Your fuck-Kenny’s-ex songs are beautiful and all, but you know, if you want to actually talk about your fight with him, no one else is here. So, you can tell me.”

“I’m fine,” I said, even though I knew it wasn’t convincing.

They stared at me, weighing my answer for a while, before standing and brushing their hands together. “All right, let’s go.”

“What?” I asked, keeping my fingers moving against the guitar strings.

“You haven’t gotten off this couch to do anything but take a shit since you got here. We need to get you out of this house. Tatiana and I are going out tonight for Thirsty Thursday. Come with us. Get your mind off your fight with Kenny.”

“I said I was fine.”

“So act like it. Let’s go out!”

I sighed. I really did want to do something other than mope around on the couch by myself. At the same time, though, I didn’t want to do itbecauseI was sad. Plus, I didn’t want to ruin Leti and Tatiana’s date by going as their third wheel. “I don’t know if Tatiana would want me crashing your date.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Leti waved off my question. “Believe it or not, some people other than me actually care about your well-being and want you to have a good time.”

I decided then that I could go just to have a good time. It didn’t have to have anything to do with Kenny, or my mom.

“Drinks are on you, then,” I said. I’d be broke soon without a job, and I didn’t want to get broker any faster.

“Obviously.” Leti winked. “Now, get your ass in the shower. You smell like pompis.”

After a shower and about an hour of Leti digging through all the clothes in my suitcase to find something decent enough for me to go out in, Tatiana showed up at the house. I grabbed the outfit Leti picked out for me and changed in the bathroom to give them their one moment alone for the night. Leti’s outfit of choice: a nice pair of jeans, a short-sleeved blue button-up with the sleeves rolled, and a pair of their blue Old Skool Vans to match. Thank God we wore the same shoe size, so I could look halfway decent.

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