Page 96 of The Broposal

She leaned in for a kiss, and I just felt so incredibly violated that she would even try that. I turned my head so she kissed my cheek, and something snapped inside me at having her lips on my skin. “There will never be an ‘us,’ Jackie. You should know that.”

She pulled her hand away, looking wounded for a moment. Then anger flashed in her eyes. “Then I’ll just make that little phone call.”

I grabbed her hand back but glared at her the whole time. “Is this what you want, Jackie? You want me to be your little bitch for the rest of my life? Because I’ll do that. I’m your bitch. Are you happy? Whatever you want me to do, I’ll fucking do it.” Jackie looked at me with wide eyes, as if she hadn’t expected her plan to actually work. “You want to fucking hold hands, fine. You want to kiss me? Go ahead. But this?” I said, holding up my hand in hers. “Will never be consensual. And no matter what you force me to do, you can’t blackmail me into loving you again.”

“I…” Tears welled in Jackie’s eyes. “We really had something special, Ken. I think if you just give me another chance…”

I bit my tongue and shut my eyes to keep from exploding. I was pretty sure she noticed, because her demeanor changed then.

“Well, if you’re going to be like that, then what’s stopping me from making that call?”

That’s when I pulled my hand away from hers and stood up to face her. “You think that will make me love you again? If you do that, how could I ever evenlookat you? How do you sleep at night, knowing what you’re doing to Han? What you’re doing tome? You say you love me, but look at how much pain you’re putting me through. How could you treat someone you love like that? How couldIlove someone who would do this to me? I need you to really listen to me here, Jackie. I willneverlove you again.”

Jackie’s jaw hung open as she sputtered out her next words. “How—how can you say that? You’re acting like everything we’ve been through means nothing to you! Are you really just gonna abandon me, like my dad did to my mom?”

“I think I get it now, actually.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of this whole thing. I knew she was trying to make me feel like I’d be a bad father if I didn’t let her walk all over me, but there was more to it than that. “You’re afraid of being alone, just like I was. That’s why we lasted for so long. Not because we worked, or loved each other, or made any kind of sense together whatsoever, but because neither of us wanted to be left alone. You’re so scared of being left behind that you’d rather be with someone you’ve made to hate you than look yourself in the mirror. And I was the same way!

“I have bent over backwards at every turn just to make you happy, just so you wouldn’t leave me. Fuck, I’m even doing it now,again. But this isn’t who I am anymore, and you’re stuck with a version of me that doesn’t even exist. I’m not doing this because I want you to be happy. This is you bullying me and it’s the only choice I can make, but you’ve shown me—andHanhas shown me—that this isn’t who I am anymore. So if you want to be with a ghost, then fine. But know the person you’re bullying isn’t the one you fell in love with or the one who fell for you. There’s nothing between us, and there’s nothing either of us can do to change that.”

Jackie sat there, dumbfounded for a moment. She wiped an angry tear from her eye, then patted the space next to her on the couch. I stared at her in surprise.

“You’re my bitch, then. Sit down.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

HAN

This was the day I would get my life back. I woke up early (okay, okay, noon) to get ready. Imighthave been procrastinating, just a little. Hell, this plan was a complete gamble, but I was pretty sure it could work. I let out a deep breath as I opened the Uber’s door and picked my crutches up from the floor. The car was gone before I knew it, so I couldn’t just retreat and go back to Nacho and Mary’s place. I stood there, right outside Jackie’s house, hoping to God this plan would work. Just as I was about to make my way to the door, I noticed a car in the driveway, and my stomach yanked itself into a tangle of knots.

Kenny was here. The hell was Kenny doing here?

There was no way he could have already forgiven Jackie for what she’d done to me, right? I didn’t want to believe that. So why was he here? I made my way to the door to find out, totally consumed by the bubbling anger at the notion that the two of them were just hanging out right now. I knew I wasn’t being fair or logical, but none of that mattered in the moment.

I wasn’t about to accept any of this. I rang the doorbell. I had to focus. This visit was about getting Jackie to back off, not about Kenny. And Iwouldget Jackie to back off. I had to.

After a couple of minutes, there was still no answer, so I rang it again. And waited.

After what felt like ages, I finally heard Kenny’s voice from behind the door. “I’ll get rid of him, okay?” The fuck?

Now I really was mad. Kenny’s voice was close enough to the door that it was obvious he’d already used the peephole to see it was me. I couldn’t believe he had actually said that about me.

The door peeked open, showing me only a sliver of Kenny’s face.

“Han, you should go. It’s really not a good time right now.”

And that fucker actually tried to close the door in my face! I blocked it by slipping one of my crutches through the crack in the door. “The hell it’s not!” I said as I rammed my shoulder against the door and forced it open.

Kenny tried to protest, and I had to admit, if he wanted to, he could have just physically pushed me out of the house. But he didn’t touch me.

“Han, I’m trying to help you,” Kenny said under his breath so Jackie couldn’t hear, but I just pushed past him. Kenny could explain later. For now, I was doing this. Whether he had my back or not. I had to look out for myself, now more than ever.

As soon as Jackie heard me come in, she marched over to the entrance where we were standing.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Why would you let him in? You’re really not helping your case here, Ken,” she said harshly.

Kenny looked absolutely horrified. His face was turning red, and his mouth just hung open as he stuttered out a frantic “I—I tried to—”

But I wasn’t going to let either of them dominate this conversation. This was about me.

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