Page 93 of The Broposal

With the leverage Jackie had on us, there was no way to keepher from hurting Kenny again. She could use my status against Kenny for the rest of his life if she wanted to, trapping him in a cycle of abuse forever. And there wasn’t a damn thing either of us could do about it.

I was still a little drunk when I woke up, and I had the worst fucking headache of my life. It was probably the seventh time I’d woken up already, but I refused to get up each time. Whenever I opened my eyes, one glimpse at the ceiling light had me shutting them real quick. I felt like one of those guys being interrogated in a dark room, where they would shove that bright light in your face so you couldn’t see anything. But this time, when I swallowed, I realized how dry my throat was. I could have been stranded in the desert for days with no water for all I knew.

Okay, maybe that was all a little dramatic, but whatever. Point is, I was hungover. As hell.

I rolled over on my stomach and groaned into the couch pillow. I lay there for a while but couldn’t fall back asleep. I wondered if Leti was as hungover as I was.

It was as if my thoughts of Leti summoned them, because before I knew it, they were lifting my feet up from the couch so they could sit down. I sighed and forced myself to sit up and face them. I ran a hand down my face as I tried to come up with something to say.

“I’m such an asshole” was all that came out.

Leti just frowned at me. They probably wanted me to explain why I was an asshole, but what was I supposed to say? That I was letting Kenny be held hostage in an abusive situation for my sake? God, I felt sick just thinking about it.

“I’m just a terrible person” was all I could manage to say about it.

“Stop it.” Leti held up a hand to shush me, still frowning. “What are you doing, Ale? I’m worried.” Their voice was softer than usual.

I wondered if they were worried because of how much I’d been drinking lately. Because of my mom. But I wasn’t my mom. I’d never had an addictive personality like she did, and I’d never done anything besides drink and smoke a little weed. I wasnotmy mom. Still, I knew it wasn’t too healthy to drink my problems away. “I’ll cool it on the alcohol for a while,” I said, scratching my head.

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Leti said.

“Then what?”

“You, Ale. Talk to me. For once in your life, tell someone what’s going on in your head! You don’t have to be alone in this.”

“I…” I didn’t know what to say. There was no way to explain the whole situation without telling Leti about Jackie’s threat, which would definitely make Leti try to get involved, and I couldn’t have that. “Kenny left me,” I finally admitted. The words came out strangled and raw. It was the first time I’d admitted the truth to anyone. Kenny broke it off. There would be no wedding, or green card, or kissing Kenny. None of it. Maybe I couldn’t tell Leti about Jackie’s threat, but I also couldn’t keep the breakup a secret forever. Especially with the would-have-been wedding date coming up.

“No…” The word came out Leti’s mouth as if they hadn’t meant to say it at all. They ran a hand through their long black hair and sighed. “I’m so fucking sorry, Ale. I… I think it’s my fault he called it off.”

“What? Why? What did you do?”

“At the bachelor party, I told him that if he wasn’t sure about things, that he shouldn’t keep stringing you along. I basicallytoldhim to break it off. And then he did. Fuck! I’m so fucking sorry.”

I rubbed my temples. It made sense that Leti would think it was their fault, but that was the night Kenny and I admitted our feelings to each other. If anything, whatever Leti said to Kenny only made him more confident we should be together. If Jackie hadn’t gotten in the way… “It’s not your fault, Leti.” I couldn’t tell them why, but I didn’t want them blaming themself for any of this. “I promise. It had nothing to do with that talk.”

“Well, did he give you a reason for calling things off?” Leti asked.

“Jackie…” was all I could say. It wasn’t even a lie, even if Leti was thinking something different. It was all Jackie’s fault, whichever way you looked at it.

“That motherfu—”

“It’s fine, Leti. I don’t want to talk about Kenny anymore, okay?”

Leti shook their head, eyebrows scrunched together. “I’m really sorry.”

“Yeah, me too,” I mumbled. I didn’t even have the energy to feel angry. Just tired. Just hopeless.

“I hate to leave you right now, but I have to go,” Leti said, patting my thigh before getting up and putting their hair up in a colita.

“It’s fine. Where are you going?”

But Leti seemed to be on a mission, and they either didn’t hear me or ignored me. It was like they forgot they had anywhere to be until right then. They were already out the door before I had a chance to ask again.

I sighed and leaned my head back against the edge of the couch. Everything fucking sucked. I hated how helpless I felt about the whole situation. It was like no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t catch a break. Jackie’s threat would always be there, taunting me. How long would she keep me out of Kenny’s life? Would she ever just decide to make good on it for no reason, just because she didn’t like me? The thought made my skin crawl. There had to besomethingI could do to protect myself, to get her off my back. Something to free Kenny from her death grip. And to get him back in my life.

Then my drunken words from the night before came back to me, and an idea formed in my head. It was risky. I’d be riskingeverything. But this was a risk I had to take if I ever wanted to get my life back. To get Kenny back.

I’m going to fucking expose her.

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