Page 31 of Lost In The Dark

“No,” I rasped through my tight throat. A sheen of sweat broke out across my brow, even though my entire body was suddenly feeling frozen. “I…I c-can’t. I can’t!” I gasped as I looked between Asher and Eli in a panic.

“You’re in pain though. The doc, he can give you something to…” Eli kept on talking but the loud buzzing in my head drowned out his words. I ripped my hand from where it still sat beneath his, and slid down from the stool as panic took an even tighter grip on me. I stumbled backwards, knocking the stool to the floor, and then tripping over it as I fought to get away from all of them. I was fighting to breathe and my vision was blurring as tears filled my eyes.

Someone grabbed my arm to stop me falling over the stool, but in my panic I cried out and fought the grip, fleeing to the nearest corner and curling myself into a ball right there on the floor, the wall at two sides my only safety.

Then the images started to play in my mind, starting with the memory of that beast pulling me from the van, and into the torment that was that desperation filled warehouse. I could see all of those women trapped in cages. I could hear their cries for help and the chorus of sobbing and terror. Then it was Hilton – the senator - his agonizing grip on the top of my arm as he forced me into that cage.

More came then, man after man, hitting me, dragging me, ripping away clothes and underwear. The rooms around me changed, as did the men, but the fear was the same every time, and no matter how tightly I pushed my hands over my ears I could hear myself screaming or crying. I could hear my begging for them not to hurt me. I could hear their crude words and angry outbursts. The names they called me.“Whore!” “Bitch!” “Slut!”So many men, one after the other, all hurting me and tearing piece after piece from me. I was trapped and there seemed no way out.

CHAPTER 10

KANE

I was headed to the main house to grab some coffee and check in with Asher on his plans for the day, when I heard the commotion and started running.

I slid open the glass door and stepped into the kitchen, where Asher, Eli, Adam, and Jordan were all in the midst of chaos.

“Addy, open your eyes. It’s me. It’s Eli!” Eli was pleading as he crouched on the floor in the corner. Asher stood over him, and Adam and Jordan were either side. One of the seats from the island was laid out on the floor and coffee was pooling on the counter where a cup had been knocked over. “What do we do, Ash? She won’t open her eyes like last time,” Eli cried.

“What happened?” I asked, causing all four of them to turn to me with alarm.

“I think we pushed too hard. She’s having a panic attack,” Asher told me when he realized it was just me and there was no threat. “It happened before, but she came out of it in a matter of moments last time.”

“What do you mean you pushed too hard?” I was already moving to the tiny, trembling bundle curled up right in the corner of the room. Addy had her head on her knees and her arms wrapped around her legs as she rocked back and forth.

“I wanted her to see the doctor for her injuries. She was in pain and I was worried about infection. She said she was okay, but I pushed,” Asher told me, his voice filled with guilt.

Asher Lyle was a good man. I had known that from the first day I had worked a mission with him overseas. He was a man I could count on always and I felt safe knowing he had my back and that of my teammates. That fact had only been further proven when my team got caught in an ambush during my last tour. I had lost most of my brothers and the two that survived were so badly injured they would never be themselves wholly again. I had gotten off lightly with the head injury I received along with some severe burns. It had ended my career in the military, but at least I had lived.

Asher had found me a month after I was honorably discharged – lost and grieving for my team, drowning myself in any alcohol I could get my hands on in an attempt to dull the pain and the PTSD I was suffering with. He’d ignored me when I told him repeatedly to ‘fuck off’ and eventually he had made me see reason enough to get some help. He’d taken care of me right there in his home as I started seeing a therapist and got the lasting effects of my head injury stabilized with medications. He’d saved my life, then he’d given me a job and a purpose.

Now it was obvious he was in deep with everything his half sister had suffered and he needed help himself. It was the perfect opportunity to pay him back for all he had given me, and I was determined I would. There was just one problem – the tiny little dark haired, green eyed bundle currently rocking n the corner. Addy.

The moment those deep green, captivating eyes had met mine, back at the airport the night before, I had been a goner, which was insane, but the truth. At just the sight of her my heart hadraced and I’d been unable to take my eyes from her. She was beautiful, and so strong and determined. I’d seen it in her eyes, even after all she’d been through and the fear that so obviously consumed her, she had stood strong and fought to keep going. I admired that. I knew I could fall for her so easily, but I also knew what a terrible idea that was. Not only was she my bosses sister, but she was also all kinds of messed up, just like me. Two messed up people could never make for anything good.

So I had resolved to be professional, do my job and protect her. Nothing more, nothing less. I just needed to maintain a distance and all of the nonsense feelings would die down. But now she sat in that corner, clearly terrified and traumatized and nothing could keep me from trying to go to her, because I got it. I’d been there, having suffered my own months and months of panic attacks. I knew how they could fuck with you until you didn’t know which way was up, and I refused to leave her lost and alone.

So I dropped to my knees beside Eli and reached my hand out to place on her wrist. Her skin was ice cold to the touch and her pulse was racing way too fast. She was gasping for breath as silent tears dripped down what little of her face I could see.

“Get me a thick blanket,” I ordered as I turned my attention back to Addy. She squeaked in fear, then clamped her hands over her ears as her rocking back and forth only increased in speed. Eli jumped up and hurried away to follow my order.

“What can we do?” Asher asked.

“Should I call 9-1-1?” Adam added.

“She’s trapped in her flashback. We need to get her warm and just keep her quiet until she comes back to us.” I never took my eyes from her as I spoke, too afraid to.

“Can some one crank the heat in the house?” Asher asked as he crouched down beside me. I heard someone run off behind us. “This is my fault. I shouldn’t have pushed her,” he sighed as he reached for her hand and gently held it in his.

“You didn’t know. No one knows how Addy will react to situations right now, because none of us know what she’s been through,” I tried to explain.

“I’m fucking this all up already, Kane. I’m making it worse for her.”

“You’re not. She’s better off here with all of you, where she knows she’s not alone. You just have to give it time. She needs to get to know you just as much as you need to get to know her. The more that happens the more you’ll learn what triggers and upsets her, and the more you’ll know how to help her when it does happen.”

“Here!” Eli reappeared and handed me a huge, thick, woolen blanket. I unfolded it and wrapped it around Addy’s shoulders, pulling it tight around her front too.

“One of you needs to hold her tight. She needs something to pull her from the flashback and we need to get her warm,” I said as I glanced up to Asher and Eli.

---