Page 50 of Lost In The Dark

“I already told you not to worry about that. I can run things from my office here. The business is fine,” Asher reassured me.

“He’s right. We want to be here with you,” Eli agreed.

“I know, and I’m so grateful for that. I really needed you here to start with because I was just terrified constantly, but it’s different now. I’m comfortable here, and I feel safe with Jordan and Adam. I’m not sure I’m ready to be left alone completely, but I’ll be okay if one of the others is here with me.”

“I’m almost always here, so that won’t be a problem,” Adam agreed, which I was grateful for.

“I just…I think we should try to find some kind of normal. God knows I’m far from it, but maybe if we all have some kind of routine, it will help me. I hate keeping you from your business,” I went on.

“She’s right, Ash. It’s important to get back to normal, and like Ad said, he’s always here. I’m quitting my job too, so I’ll be around more.”

“You’re quitting your job?” Eli repeated.

“Yeah. I hate it there. I’m going to quit today and focus on finding something I really want to do. Adam and I discussed it and he agreed,” Jordan explained.

“See. I’ll be fine. The guys will be here and we have the security. You don’t both need to worry about me so much,” I told Eli and Asher as I looked between them.

“I don’t like it. What about when you have a panic attack?” Eli asked.

“Adam or Jordan, or both of them will be here and I’m good with them now. I’ll deal with it.”

“And we can call you if we have to. You’re only a thirty minute drive away. Kane will be here too. We’ll get by, guys,” Adam added and I nodded my agreement.

“I’m a mess, Eli, and that’s not going to change in the next few weeks. It’s going to take time, and I’m sure I will have anxiety and lots of nightmares in that time. We just have to try to keep going around it all, and find some normality, until I can find a way to deal with it. You can’t just stay by my side forever,” I told him.

“Why can’t I?” Eli asked. “We already let you down so many times because we didn’t know about you. I don’t ever want to let that happen again. You’re my sister. I want to take care of you.”

“You are, Eli. Both of you are, but I don’t need you at my side at every second, for you to continue to do that. We all have cells and I’m a big girl. If I need you and you’re not home, I’ll call you. If I’m going to make a new life here, like you keep saying you want me to, we have to find our new normal, me as well as you.”

“How about we start slow?” Asher suggested. “Tomorrow Eli and I will head into the office for the morning and come home at lunch. We’ll do that for a while and if it works out okay, we’ll return to work as normal.”

“I think that sounds great,” I agreed happily. Asher and I both looked to Eli, who nodded reluctantly. I knew he hated the idea of leaving me. He was a worrier, and I certainly had a lot going on for him to worry about, but that was part of why he needed to go out to work again. He fussed and worried over me too much, and it was affecting him. He looked tired all of the time and I hated that. If we could find some normal I hoped he would see that I could be stronger than he thought, and he wouldn’t worry quite so much.

“It’s all gonna be good, brother. Stop stressing. One of us will always be here with Addy, and she’s strong. Let her be strong,” Jordan told Eli as he clamped a supportive hand over his shoulder.

“There’s one more thing,” I announced nervously. This was the one that really scared me but it was a step I knew I had to take if I was going to find any peace in my own head. “I know you mentioned me seeing a trauma counselor, Asher. I’m nervous about it, if I’m honest, but I want to try a few sessions and see how it goes, if that’s okay?”

“I’ll call and make an appointment for the earliest slot they have,” Asher told me as he gave me a wide smile. “I know you’re unsure about this, sweetheart, but I think some counselling could really help.”

“I do too, and you won’t be alone. One of us will take you and stay right outside. If it becomes too much, we’ll be there,” Adam told me, and I nodded gratefully.

I was emotional as the guys resumed eating. I was just so lucky to have them all there to support me and I knew it. I was grateful for every bit of kindness they gave me. I knew what it was to be alone, and in the past I’d always been okay that way. Now though, after everything that had happened in the two years since I was grabbed, I knew for a fact being alone would not have worked for me. Alone I’d have simply drowned in the darkness that fought daily to consume me. Alone I was pretty sure I would have given in to the demons in my head and just given up. But those guys – my brothers, Adam, and Jordan – they wouldn’t allow me to drown and they certainly wouldn’t let me give up. They were holding me just above the darkness until I felt strong enough to pull myself all of the way out. I had so much to thank them for and I didn’t even know where to begin.

CHAPTER 16

ADDY

“Hurry the fuck up!” the beast of a man, who had dragged me into the warehouse on the first day, barked. It had been a week in that freezing warehouse, trapped in a cage with three other terrified women. Two of them had been foreign – Eastern European was my best guess – but the other woman – June – she had been from Nevada, kidnapped just like me on the side of the road after her boyfriend tossed her out of the car, following an argument. She had been just as terrified as me, but she was tougher. She’d helped me through the days we spent in that cage and told me I had to stay strong. She told me I would never survive what came next if I showed weakness. Since she seemed a lot more street smart than me, I had believed her.

June had been taken with the group of women the day before. Now it seemed it was my turn as I was once again dragged from the van and tossed on my ass by the gun toting behemoth. A cigarette hung from his lips as he grabbed my arm and dragged me to my feet. I looked up hurriedly as I fought to stay strong and not allow any tears to fall. What I saw before me made me shudder. It was a strip club, lit brightly with a huge neon sign.Wild Cats. That’s what it was called, and just to be sure it was obvious what the business was, there was a neon image of a scantily clad woman beside the name of the club.

“Oh God!” I gasped as I realized what was actually happening. This was just like the crime show I had watched. I was being sold to this place.

“I said move!” the beast snapped as he kicked the back of my knee, almost knocking me down. The other women around me were cowering, almost all of them sobbing in fear. It took everything in me to move forward and not just curl up and cry too.

I looked all around me as we approached the front door, contemplating my escape, but I was not a fast runner, and even with adrenaline on my side, I knew one of the armed men, who now surrounded us, would catch me almost instantly. I knew it was pathetic, but I was just too scared to try and escape too. What if they just shot me? I didn’t want to die.

We were all ushered into the club by the three men holding guns. Inside it was dark and definitely seedy. Before we reached the main club, we were shoved into a side door and down a dingy looking corridor. There were unmarked doors on both sides as we walked down the long passage, and I could hear the sound of women, clearly in distress, coming from within..

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