Page 1 of Lost in the Light

CHAPTER 1

ELI

“She’s asleep,” Jordan whispered to me where I lay holding Addy in my arms on her bed.

I sighed in relief. It had been a couple of hours since we left our office building. A couple of hours since Asher and I discovered just how much of a monster our father had truly been.

I hadn’t really absorbed the fact yet, too worried about Addy. She had sobbed, hidden against Asher the entire drive back to our place, and there was nothing we could do to soothe her. What the fuck were we supposed to say? Our own father – her father! Her blood! - He’d been at that sick party, and he’d terrorized her and dragged her off into a private room. It wasn’t hard to work out what came next, even if Addy hadn’t yet remembered. How could we make that better for her? What could we possibly say? It made me feel nauseous.

It wasn’t that I had ever thought our father to be a good man. I knew he wasn’t. He was brutal and could be violent, especially when we were kids. He ran his family like he ran his business – without mercy. I had never been disillusioned enough to think he loved me, but I never thought him capable of this! He was cold, ruthless, power hungry, and so fucking selfish, but I never thought he was that evil. How many innocents had he hurt in his lifetime? Did he hold people captive like the senator had Addy?

“Stay with her!” I gasped as I slid from the bed as carefully as I could, but quickly too. My stomach was churning and I only just made it into Addy’s bathroom and to the toilet before I vomited violently. I retched over and over until my stomach was completely empty, but still I felt violently ill.

“Eli?” I looked back and found Adam stood in the doorway. He and Jordan knew what had happened. Asher had quickly filled them in as I got Addy settled in her room when we got home.

“I’m good,” I lied as I got to my feet and flushed. “I didn’t wake her, did I?”

“She’s still out. Just take a few breaths and calm down. We’ve all got her,” he soothed, and it wasn’t until he said it that I realized how hard I was panting.

“I’m just so angry,” I told him quietly as I moved to the basin to wash my hands. I had never felt rage like I did in that moment. If my father still lay at his home, dying, I’d have taken pleasure in suffocating him.

“I know, brother. I’m angry too, and that bastard wasn’t my blood.” Adam stepped forward and put his hand on my shoulder as he spoke.

“How could he?” I growled. “He had to know! How could he not! She looks so much like him and like me. He had to know!”

“I don’t think we’ll ever know that now. He’s gone. Maybe Addy will get more memories of that day back, but I hope not. If he…” Adam paused and took a deep breath. “She shouldn’t have to relive that again.”

“No, she shouldn’t.”

“Why don’t you go and change? Freshen up? Jord and I will stay with her,” he suggested as he squeezed my shoulder comfortingly.

“I don’t know.” I was reluctant to leave Addy. By the time we’d gotten her back home she had stopped crying, but when I spoke to her, it was like she wasn’t even there. She didn’t speak, didn’t move. When Asher handed her to me and told me she needed to rest, she had just grabbed a handful of my jacket lapel and closed her eyes. I was relieved she was finally asleep. I just prayed it wasn’t filled with nightmares.

“She’ll be asleep for a while. She was exhausted,” Adam assured me. “I think maybe you should check on Ash too. He’s locked in his office and when I tried to talk to him, he wouldn’t even let me in.”

That was bad. Asher never pulled away from Adam. It was the opposite – when Ash needed help or advise, Adam was the first person he turned to. I hated that I couldn’t be that person for him, but I knew Adam was stronger than me.

“I’ll check on him,” I agreed. “Will you text me if she wakes up?”

“Of course.” With Adam’s agreement, I checked on Addy once more, relieved to see her looking peacefully asleep, then left for my room.

A few minutes later I rushed back out, having brushed my teeth, washed my face, and changed into comfy jeans and a t-shirt. I was clutching my cell in my hand, ensuring I didn’t miss Adam texting or calling me to return to Addy, but I knew she was in good hands. Jordan and Adam cared deeply about her and I knew they wouldn’t leave her side. She was safe. So I turned my attention and worry to my brother.

Asher had barely spoken the whole way home either, just clutching Addy and staring out of the window blankly. I knew he must be feeling as shocked, outraged, and ill about the whole thing as me. I didn’t want him doing what he always did though – bottling it up inside and hiding his emotions to spare us all. This was too much to bottle up inside.

“Ash?” I called through the closed office door as soon as I got to it. I tried the handle anyway, but Adam was right. It was locked. “Ash, open the door please.”

“I’m busy,” he called back, and that worried me even more. He was never too busy for me. He had told me that a million times.

“I’m not leaving. I’ll just wait here until you’re not busy,” I called back stubbornly.

I heard him cursing as he came towards the door, then he unlocked it, but didn’t open it. By the time I stepped inside the bright open space of his office, he was back behind his desk.

“How is she?” he asked as he glanced up from the screen of his laptop to me.

“Sleeping. Jordan and Adam said they’d stay with her,” I replied. “What are you doing?”

“Sending everything I have on those two assholes Addy said were at the party with our…” Ash paused and I saw his jaw tense.

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