Page 26 of Lost in the Light

“Do you think Joseph was involved deeply in those parties, and all they entailed?” I asked shakily.

“I think that man was never a part of anything he couldn’t have complete control of, and that worries me as much as it doesAsher and Eli. We all knew the old man was an asshole, but we never even imagined him capable of all of this,” he sighed.

“Could he have had me taken? Is that why I was targeted? Did he w-want me to suffer like I did?” My words were squeaked out through a tight throat. I had never had a dad. It was never something I ever really thought much about either. I was too busy trying to keep my mom and me afloat to daydream about my dad being a prince who would come in and save me. But to discover the man who fathered me, had arranged for me to be kidnapped by sex traffickers, to be sold in to a life of abuse, rape, and terror – that hurt. That hurt a lot. He never even met me. How could he hate me that much?

“I want to say no, but I don’t think we can rule it out right now. Joseph Lyle was obviously a very sick, twisted bastard. Who knows what was going on in his deranged mind?”

I tried to take a deep breath to keep control of my rapidly spiraling anxiety, but it came back out all shaky.

“Hey, it’s going to be alright. He’s dead now and you’re safe here with all of us,” Adam said as he rounded the counter and pulled me into his strong arms, holding me tightly. “You have a home, a family and so many people who care about you now, Addy. You’re strong. You’ll handle whatever comes like the boss I know you are.”

I clung to him tightly, my hands filled with fistfuls of his shirt at his back as I pressed my face against his solid chest and just took some calm from his strength. He was wrong about me being strong, and I was pretty sure I was poorly equipped to handle whatever came next, but I did have people who cared now, and that knowledge helped. That was the only thing that helped me to hold onto the remaining fragments of my sanity.

“How about some breakfast?” Adam asked after a while. I took a deep breath and finally released his shirt, allowing him to step back. I didn’t want him to let me go, but I knew he needed to.

“No, thanks. I just said that to make Eli go and sleep. I can’t eat right now.” My throat hurt like hell and my stomach was twisted up into knots so tight it physically ached.

“You should eat, Addy. I have your meds, which you need to take.” He held up the huge box filled with pill bottles. He must have brought it from the house I realized. Just another reminder of how very broken I was.

“I’ll take them later,” I sighed. “Is there somewhere I can get some fresh air?”

“There’s a roof terrace, but it’s snowing out, and freezing,” he argued.

“Just for a few minutes. It helps me clear my head.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” he offered, but I shook my head.

“I just need some space.”

“Make sure you grab a coat from the closet. Yours is ruined. I had to throw it out, but Eli’s or Jordan’s should work for now,” he told me. “Your boots are in there too. Take the door off to the right of the entrance and it’ll take you right up there.”

“Thank you.” I turned to where he’d pointed and saw a large closet to the side of the entrance door, and beside it, another door that must lead up.

“Ten minutes, Addy. It’s too cold up there. If you’re not back I’m coming to get you,” he warned and I nodded as I got to my feet. I started to walk away, but Adam stopped me.

“I have to ask before you go, why was Jordan talking about Harris, Evie, and the other guys’ relationship, with you?” I turned back to face him and knew I was blushing again. I hadn’t expected him to ask me that so plainly.

“I think you know why,” I said eventually. It wasn’t like he was blind to what was going on between him, Jordan, and I. He had to know the feelings firing between us all.

“I hope Jordan isn’t pressuring you,” he questioned with some ire in his eyes.

“He’s not…not really, anyway,” I shrugged.

“What does that mean? What’s he said to you?” Adam rounded the counter again to come to me, but I held out a hand and he paused.

“Can we just not do this now? I’m really not feeling up to it, Adam. I’m sorry,” I told him honestly.

“Okay, but we do need to talk.”

“I know and I want to, but just not now, okay?” I forced a smile, and he nodded. I was relieved he understood, because I just didn’t have the strength to go into everything with him.

“Ten minutes,” he reminded me as I walked away from him and headed for the closet to grab a coat and my boots.

I barely made it up the steps to the roof terrace. I had no idea why I felt so tired when I’d gotten a good amount of sleep the night before, with Jordan.

It was a relief when I burst out through the fire door, and into the icy wind. The snow all around me was about half a foot deep as I stepped into it, and the wind was already biting at my face. Adam had been right. It was freezing, but also peaceful andserene. Everything up there was covered in snow, and with the sun shining down, it glistened.

I trudged through the untouched snow, leaving a trail of boot prints behind me as I made my way over to the edge of the building. There was a glass partition that surrounded the space, to make it safe, I supposed. It came to the top of my thighs, and as I leant over it I experienced a burst of adrenaline as I looked to the busy street so many levels below me. I’d never been afraid of heights, but then again, I was fairly sure I’ve never been that high up before.

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