Page 39 of Lost in the Light

“I’m so sorry,” I murmured tearfully as I wrapped both of my hands around his where it was laid on the bed beside me. He was still crouched at eye level with me and I could see every trace of the pain in his eyes.

“No more hiding, okay? No more locking yourself away. I know how scary and embarrassing it can feel to just let go and turn to others when you need help, but we’re here for you. We want you to come to us. Everyone needs help in the tough times – every single person on this Earth. It doesn’t make you weak, or whatever other thoughts go through this crazy mind of yours,” Kane went on as he gently stroked the hand I wasn’t holding over the top of my head.

“Kane’s right. We need you to come to us, Addy. The first sign of anxiety, or even if you just feel a little off. We need the security of knowing you won’t hide away alone again. I need it. I know it might sound over bearing, but I have to know you’re safe. Do you understand?” Asher asked.

“We all do,” Adam added. I looked to Jordan who smiled a little, but I saw the worry written all over his face. When I looked to Eli he was swiping at his eyes and looking to the ground, trying to hide the upset I had caused him, from me.

“No more hiding,” I agreed as I looked to Kane then to Asher. “I’ll come to you guys. I’m so sorry I scared you all like I did.”

“No more apologizing. That’s a rule too,” Kane added with a tired sigh.

“I have rules now?” I threw back with a raised eyebrow.

“If that’s what’s needed to take care of you, then yes,” Kane replied stubbornly.

“I agree. Maybe some rules would be a good thing,” Adam said, jumping right on board as he looked to me and dared me to argue.

“You guys do realize I’m a grown woman, right?” I snarked back, but inside I wasn’t horrified by the idea of them taking charge the way they seemed to be doing, especially not after the way I had responded to Kane and Adam being a little bossy with me before. It had felt good to just do and not think when things were so out of control for me.

“We don’t want to patronize you, Addy, but I have to agree. I think some guidelines to help you keep your mind focused could be of benefit to you right now,” Asher added.

“Like what?”

“Like you come to us when you feel worried or upset, no matter how trivial you think it is,” Adam said.

“No apologizing for things you have no control over,” Kane added.

“No blaming yourself for what’s happening, or worrying about all of us to the point it makes you ill. We’re all big boys. We can handle ourselves,” Jordan spoke up, surprising me.

“You too? I didn’t have you pegged as a rule follower or maker,” I scoffed as I looked up at him.

“I agree with Asher. I think this would help you, and I’d do anything to make things just a little easier right now for you,” he told me more gently.

“I’d like you to tell us about any memories you recover, not just the parts you think we can handle. You need to talk these things through to get them out, and we all need to know what you’redealing with, in order to be able to help,” Asher rumbled, and when I looked to him his face was firm. Maybe I should have fought this whole thing a little harder. They all seemed way too on board with the whole idea.

“You guys don’t need to hear all of the gory details. I wish I didn’t have to either,” I sighed.

“But you do, Addy, and if you can face it, so can we,” Eli chimed in. “And I also think there should be a rule that you make an effort to eat three times a day. I’m worried about how thin you are, and the doctor did say it was important to eat healthily with your heart issues.”

“Not you too, Eli. You’re supposed to be on my side,” I groaned dramatically.

“We’re all on your side, baby. We just want to take care of you,” Adam reminded me.

“Fine. I’ll try to do the things you all said, but we’re not calling them ‘rules.’ I’m not a child,” I argued petulantly. Even though I kind of liked the idea of having rules, I felt the need to fight my corner and not give in completely.

“We’ll see,” Kane grumbled. When he looked between Adam and Jordan, and all three shared a conspiratorial nod, I worried a little at what I was getting myself into.

“I know it’s late, but do you think you could try and eat again, sweetie? You have meds to take and you look far too pale?” Eli asked worriedly, saving me from whatever was going on between Adam, Jordan, and Kane.

“What time is it?” I asked as I sat up and groaned at the residual pain that still remained from my damaged ribs. They were so much better, but they still smarted if I moved wrong.

“Just after two A.M.” Kane replied as he got to his feet and stepped away from the bed rubbing tiredly at his face as he went.

“You need to get some sleep. You’re supposed to be taking it easy,” I scolded him gently.

“Look who’s talking,” he laughed.

“She’s right, brother. You look like shit. Go and get some sleep,” Asher agreed with me as he clapped a hand down on Kane’s shoulder

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