Page 53 of Lost in the Light

“Yeah,” I replied with a smile. Even with my worry for my brother, I couldn’t help the happiness I felt when I looked at Adam, Jordan, and Kane and knew they were mine.

Once Adam had gone, I stood from the bed and headed for the closet to pull out clothes for the day. I grabbed some jeans and a sweater, not exactly sure what I planned to do with the day, but paused when I spied the swim suit Eli had ordered for me during one of his many online shopping splurges he did every time he thought of something I needed.

I had no intention of ever using the thing, since I couldn’t actually swim, but maybe the pool would be a good place to corner my brother and get him to talk to me. It’s not like I’d actually have to swim. I could just get in the pool and stay in the shallow end. Surely if I hung around for long enough Eli would speak to me?

Thankfully, the cast had been removed from my wrist the day before and I had been given the okay to do light exercise with it. The wounds that had lingered on my back and around mywrists and ankles were also all closed up now, so technically I was pretty sure I was good to hit the pool. I just wasn’t so sure I should. But it had to be worth a try, right?

I pulled out the swimsuit and my robe, dumped them on my bed, then went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and tie up my hair, determination filling me with every move. I was going to get Eli talking, even if it killed me.

***

Eli didn’t even notice me walking into the pool room, too engaged in swimming laps back and forth, it seemed.

I hadn’t really been fully into the room before, except to pop my head in and see what was inside. The room was really nice actually. Even though there were no windows, the lighting made it seem bright and open. The pool was a huge rectangular shape and the floor and walls surrounding it were tiled in a mix of bright white and pale gray tiles in a modern, geometric pattern. There were some benches down each long side and off to my right was a door I assumed led to a shower and changing room.

I slipped off my robe and placed it on one of the wooden bench seats, then stood nervously staring at the huge pool. I didn’t know how deep it was, and I was pretty damned nervous considering I’d never even been in anything deeper than a tub before. My childhood wasn’t exactly conducive to vacations by the beach, or trips to the pool. Swimming was simply a life skill that had passed me by. I wasn’t exactly scared of the water, just very nervous.

Determined to do this for Eli, hoping catching him in a place that seemed like a comfort zone for him, would help him to open up, I walked over to the ladder at what I was guessing was the shallow end and slowly lowered myself down the rungs. The water waswarm and it did feel good as I got lower and lower into it. I was relieved when I stepped off of the ladder and touched the ground, the water only coming mid-way up my chest. This was good. I could handle this as long as my feet stayed on the ground and my head stayed dry.

I held onto the wall and just stood there for a while, watching Eli swim furiously up and down the full length of the pool, not once stopping to catch his breath. He was wearing goggles and as he swam his head dipped in and out of the water. When he reached the end he did this cool flip thing to turn around, then he went off again. It was pretty mesmerizing to watch.

Deciding I should try and get his attention I moved along the wall to the opposite side, closer to where Eli was swimming, and as he started back towards me I made a loud splash, slamming my hand down into the water. I soaked myself, but the move worked when Eli stopped and popped up from the water, looking all around him until his eyes landed on me.

“Addy,” he panted, clearly a little out of breath. “What are you doing down here?” he asked. He pulled off his goggles and smoothed back his wet hair.

“I thought I’d check the pool out,” I shrugged nervously.

“You enjoy swimming?” he asked with a confused look.

“Sometimes.” I looked away from him, hating that I was fibbing.

“Oh, okay. Well I’ll stick to this side if you want to do some laps? Is that okay?” he asked.

“Sure. You’re an amazing swimmer,” I commented, trying to sound casual.

“I was on the swim team in high school. Contact sports weren’t really my thing,” he chuckled, but it wasn’t real. His eyes didn’t sparkle the way they usually did. “I should get back to it,” he added when he saw I wasn’t buying the mask he was wearing.

“Maybe we could talk while we’re alone?” I suggested.

“About what? Is everything okay?”

“No,” I shook my head as tears filled my eyes. I had to take a deeper breath to keep them in.

“What is it? Talk to me, shortcake.” Eli stepped closer and placed his hand over my forearm, only making my tears build more and my throat tighten up. This was the Eli I knew and I missed him so damned much.

“I’m so worried about you, Eli,” I admitted as I looked up at him through watery eyes. “Please tell me what’s wrong so we can fix it. I hate seeing you like this.”

“Nothing’s wrong, Addy,” he sighed as he released my arm and stepped back a little. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine.”

“No you’re not! I’m not an idiot, Eli. Something happened at the police station and it’s hurting you. We can all see it. Why won’t you talk to anyone?” I cried desperately.

“I can’t do this right now, Addy.” It hurt to see Eli completely ignore me as he moved to the edge of the pool and hoisted himself out in one smooth movement.

This was why I was so worried about him. He’d never once walked away from me, or even brushed me off before. He always had time for everyone. He wasn’t himself right now and itterrified me. What was he going through that it was cutting him up so badly?

“Eli, just wait!” I snapped as I tried to run through the water – which was not possible and probably made me look insane. By the time I reached the ladder and hoisted myself up to the edge again, Eli was already wrapped in his towel and storming towards the door. I ran to him as fast as I could and grabbed his arm, making him stop where he stood.

“This is all very dramatic, Addy,” he sighed, like I was nothing but a nuisance.

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