Page 54 of Lost in the Light

“No it’s not. I’m not the only one who sees what’s going on. Everyone in the house is worried about you. What the hell happened?” I demanded with a little fire in my tone now.

“Nothing. How many times do I have to tell you all?”

“You’re lying, Eli!” I snapped. “Just tell me what happened!”

Eli pushed his hands into his wet hair, and tugged at the strands as he growled loudly – a sound filled with anger, irritation, and pain. He turned and glared at me, then dropped his arms to his sides.

“Dad! Okay?! He’s what damn well happened!” Eli roared so angrily it took me aback for a second. “Our fucking dad happened. He ruined my life while he was alive and now he’s doing it from the fucking grave!” I looked up into Eli’s rage filled eyes, his chest heaving with his heavy breaths.

“Eli…” I began as I gripped his arm even tighter, desperate to do something to take the pain from his face.

“What’s going on in here?” We both looked to the door, where Asher stood in his gym clothes, sweating and looking worried.

“You know what?” Eli snapped. “Fuck this!” He ripped his arm from my grip so violently I lost my balance and stumbled backwards. I reached out to grab Eli before I went down, but he was storming towards the door.

A cry slipped from my lips as I braced to hit the hard tile floor, unable to regain my footing enough to stop it from happening, but I didn’t hit the tile. I didn’t realize how close I was to the edge of the pool, and before I knew it I was plunged into the water and sinking down fast.

My mouth was wide open from the cry I’d released, which meant I instantly took in a huge breath of water when I hit it. Panic filled me and I started scrambling to get my feet to the floor. The fact I was in the deepest end of the pool hit me, and ratcheted up my panic as I flailed to get to the top. I managed to pop up out of the water, taking in a huge and desperately needed gasp of air. I tried to cry out, but I was spluttering up water, then I was sinking again.

Just when I thought I was actually going to drown, strong arms came around me and propelled me upwards. As soon as I emerged to the surface I gasped for air, while also coughing up water. My hair was covering my face and my arms flailed frantically for something to grab on to.

“Addy! Addy! Calm down. You’re okay. I’ve got you!” Eli yelled, and I realized he was the one holding onto me. I forced myself to stop flailing, but the coughing continued as my lungs burned. I tried to push my hair from my face, but my hands were shaking too hard to do anything.

Eli lifted me up from the water, then I was in warm arms, being dragged from the edge of the pool and onto the tile. By the time I turned to look behind me, Asher had me resting against him,seated between his legs as we both sat on the cool tile. He pulled my wet hair from my face and pushed it aside as I coughed and spat up what had to be at least half of the pool water.

“Fuck!” Asher cursed breathlessly, as he rubbed up and down my back and held me up enough to get the last of the water up. “Try to breathe for me, sweetheart, please,” he coaxed and I forced in a couple of deep, burning lungful’s of air until I finally felt able to catch my breath.

“Should I call 9-1-1?” Eli gasped as he appeared beside me, water dripping off of him. He wrapped me in a towel.

“Yes. She almost fucking drowned!” Asher snapped back.

“No!” I cried. “I…I’m okay. I’m okay.” I leaned forward and held my head in my hands, just trying to calm myself down.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think. I just….” Eli started, but Asher was clearly angry as he cut him off.

“You just fucking what, Eli? You could have killed her!” he raged. “Addy could have hit her head on the tiles, or fucking drowned if you’d both have been alone in here when you stormed out. Would you have even noticed with the rage you were in? What the hell were you thinking?”

“Asher, don’t!” I tried to argue, but my throat was raw and I was still out of breath.

“I’m sorry. I…I just wanted to get away!” Eli cried and I could see his eyes burning with tears. I reached for him and clutched his hand, hoping it would reassure him.

“Get away from what? What is going on with you?” Asher demanded.

“Everything! I can’t do this, Ash. I’m not like you!” Eli yelled as he fell to his butt on the tiles and covered his face with the hand he had free. “I’m not strong enough to deal with all of the fucking mess dad made for us. I c-can’t handle any more, Ash. I’m sorry…I know I’m letting you down, but I…I just can’t do this,” he murmured tearfully, and he broke my heart by how much pain I heard from him.

“You don’t have to deal with it, Eli. I told you I’ll handle it. What happened with the questioning – that will never happen again,” Asher explained more calmly.

“They showed me pictures of that girls body. The M.E. said she died of dehydration. She must have been so scared,” Eli went on shakily. “We did that. We left her there. We c-could have saved her.”

“Fuck!” Asher lifted me onto his lap, keeping one arm firmly around me, then he shuffled until he was at Eli’s side, pulling him in for a hug too. “That’s not true, Eli. We didn’t know she was there. The annex built in the basement was sound proof so we had no chance of ever knowing she was there. We didn’t do it. Dad did. We can’t take any more guilt on our shoulders for that motherfucker. Do you hear me? He was a sick bastard, and I have no doubt he destroyed many lives in his lifetime, but we are not going to let him destroy ours. He’s gone and we’re all still here. I know it’s not easy but we have to try and get past what he did. We need to live the lives we deserve, the lives we know that old bastard would fucking hate!”

“I’m sorry. I know I should be stronger…” Eli began, but again Asher stopped him.

“You are so fucking strong, Eli. I don’t want to hear that bullshit anymore. After everything dad put you through, and you stillfind the strength to rise above it and be the amazing, loyal, good guy that you are. The only reason I can keep myself together is because I know, no matter what, you will always have my back.”

“He’s right, Eli,” I whispered as I squeezed his hand in mine. “You’re amazing. I don’t know how I would have survived the last month without you taking care of me. I am so lucky to have you both as my family now.”

“I could have killed you.”

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