Page 56 of Lost in the Light

Jordan had given me a quick tour when we arrived, showing me the small kitchen in the back, some toilets, and men’s and women’s shower and changing rooms. That was the whole place,and yet it was clearly in demand. It was only early evening and the place was crammed with kids of all ages ranging from around eight or nine years old, right up to senior high school students. They seemed to congregate in groups, taking advantage of what was available and scarfing down the snacks laid out by the woman who ran the place – Rita. She was an older woman, in her late fifties, I guessed. She had been friendly and welcoming when we arrived, but she didn’t mess around chatting. She put is to work, then bustled off to continue whatever she’d been doing.

When the kids had arrived, Rita had really shown her strength, instantly wrangling the most rambunctious kids to settle down, and keeping an eye on them all constantly.

Jordan had started the basketball game, and I had offered to help some kids who had come to get their homework done in a place that was apparently quieter than their homes. I dreaded to think what went on in there homes if the madness in that center was quieter.

But the kids all seemed happy and relaxed, pleased to have a place to go so they could escape home and not hang out on the streets, which Jordan had explained could be dangerous in the neighborhood we were in.

“Yep. That looks perfect,” I replied to Emma – the young girl who had shyly asked me to help her with some math problems. “Now try the next couple in the same way. I think you’ve got it,” I added with a bright smile. The young girl blushed and nodded shyly as she settled back into her seat and got to work.

I saw what Jordan saw as I sat there taking the whole center in. It was a place for the kids to retreat to and feel safe. They got to be kids for a while in that center. I knew what it was like to need that. I’d never gotten time to just be a kid when I was younger.I had always been my mom’s carer, and her primary target and outlet for the pain she suffered, and bitterness and anger it caused. There had been so many times in my childhood and teens that I would have gotten so much relief and delight from finding a safe place to go, just like the one I sat in - a sanctuary just to stop and get a breath in. A place where I could hide from reality and just pretend I was any other teen for a short while. It was a haven for the kids who went there and I fully understood now why Jordan wanted to open something similar.

I had been watching him interact with the kids all night, and he was a natural. They loved him, the younger kids keen to listen when he spoke and learn from him, and the older kids comfortable enough with him to joke and laugh. He was made for this environment. His patience, compassion, and understanding was exactly what these kids needed, but he also knew when he needed to stamp down some authority to settle things down.

When Jordan turned to me from the basketball game, and smiled brightly, I lit up inside. Ever since he, Adam, Kane, and I all agreed to see how things went between us, it was like my body had permission to feel even more whenever I was anywhere near any of them. Parts of my body I didn’t even realize could come alive, had so many times over the last few days. Every time I looked at one of them, my heart would skip a beat, or at least it felt that way. I felt lighter just to know that they wanted me just as much as I wanted them, and even though the prospect of our future terrified me, I found myself smiling so much more, like right then when I couldn’t help but return Jordan’s beaming smile.

As Jordan refocused on the game again, I glanced behind me to where Kane was standing sentry in the corner, refusing toallow me out of his sight. I sent him a smile when our eyes met. He looked kind of dark and dangerous in his all black outfit – black jeans, that I knew his ass looked amazing in - since I had sneaked a peak before we left home - with a form fitting black t-shirt that outlined his firm, muscled body beneath, and his leather jacket that concealed his gun underneath. I knew if I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist like I wanted, his jacket would feel soft and supple in my hands, and he’d smell amazing as the leather smell mixed with the masculine, musky aftershave he favored.

He shook his head a little at me, but I saw the hint of a smile cross his face as he indicated for me to focus on the task at hand.

“Which one is your boyfriend?” I looked up and realised the kid sat opposite me was watching me with some confusion. I thought his name was Finn, but I wasn’t sure. I’d met so many kids in the hours we’d been there. I did know he was working on a Romeo and Juliet essay for his English Lit class, and he was struggling. He was the oldest kid sat at the table with me, and I had to admit, he had made me a little nervous when he first sat down. He was significantly taller than me and just his presence had triggered my anxiety. The kid wasn’t to blame for that of course. That was my fear and insecurities eating at me and finding a way in.

“Kinda nosey, aren’t you?” I replied with a smile. “How’s that essay coming on?” I wanted to change the subject. The guys and I hadn’t discussed what we were going to say about our relationship in public, and while I had no issue being honest, I wasn’t sure how Jordan would feel on the matter.

“It’s fine,” he grunted as he slammed his copy of the book over his notebook so I couldn’t see how far he’d gotten.

“How are you getting on with Shakespeare? Not the easiest thing to read, huh?” I asked, trying to step gently and hopefully get him to admit he could use some help.

“Fine, I guess.”

“You know I could try and help if you need any? I’m no expert but I studied it in high school too,” I offered.

“What? Like twenty years ago?” he quipped back, his frown turning into a smart assed grin as he looked up at me.

“More like fifty. I look good for my age, right?”

“Whatever,” he dismissed me as he got to his feet and grabbed his books. “I don’t need no help anyway. I gotta go.”

“Hey. Hold up!” I called as I jumped up and ran after him.Jees, the kid was fast!He stopped and turned to look at me. “Will you be back tomorrow? I could find some materials to try and help with the essay?”

“I said I don’t need help,” he grunted.

“Okay. No problem, but I’ll be here with the materials on Romeo and Juliet tomorrow anyway. You know, incase you change your mind?” I said with a shrug. He met my eyes and seemed to be debating internally.

“Maybe,” he eventually said with another shrug. I watched as he turned and walked off , but I’d definitely take the ‘maybe’ as a little progress.

I continued to help the remaining kids finish up their homework, than I got dragged into a driving game on one of the consoles, with a few of the younger kids. I was absolutely terrible at it, but the kids were all having a ton of fun laughing at me, as they tried to help out.

By the time the center closed up at nine P.M. I was exhausted, but smiling as I helped with the clean-up. I’d had a great afternoon and evening there, during which I’d been able to forget about most of my own issues and just focus on something meaningful and productive. I liked that and I couldn’t wait to do it again.

“How’d it go, princess?” Jordan asked as he came to find me after taking the trash out to the dumpster.

“Good. I really enjoyed it. I need to come back tomorrow. I promised a couple of the kids I’d find some extra materials to help with assignments they have.”

“You looked like you were having fun,” he told me as he pulled me into his side and held me there.

“I was, though not as much fun as those kids laughing at my driving skills on that game thing,” I laughed as I wrapped my arm over his waist and hugged him too. “I see why you want to set something like this up. It’s important to the kids who come here. Every kid should have something like this to retreat to.”

“I’m pleased to hear you say that. I kinda thought you’d changed your mind about getting involved in my project, with all that’s going on.”

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