Page 59 of Lost in the Light

“I was going to talk to you, Ash. There just hasn’t been time with everything that’s happened,” Adam rushed to say.

“Addy spoke with us about it the other morning, so we knew something was going on,” Eli clarified.

“I’m sorry. I know we should have spoken with you first, but it just sort of happened,” Adam added as he looked between my brothers with regret.

“Addy?” I looked up at Asher and smiled shyly.

“We decided to give it a try,” I admitted.

“We’re moving really slow, Ash. We’d never do anything to hurt or upset Addy,” Jordan spoke up.

“And I’ve had extra security with us every time we leave the house. Nothing would stop me from protecting her, but I…I made sure she was covered anyway,” Kane said as he looked to Asher with guilt.

“I know it’s unconventional, but I have feelings for the three of them, and I couldn’t ever choose between them. I want to be with them all. It’s all so new and we…we don’t even know if it could work, but I…I’m happy right now. They make me feel happy and safe,” I tried to explain. My feelings for the three of them were so strong they were hard to put into words, as was the way I felt when I was near any of them, but I wanted my brothers to at least try and understand.

“We want you to be happy, sweetie. We’re never going to dictate what you can and can’t do,” Eli said.

“No, we’re not. You’re an adult, and I would never stand in the way of your choices. That doesn’t mean I won’t make sure you’re always cared for and protected though,” Asher continued.

“Ash, you know there’s nothing the three of us wouldn’t do to protect her,” Jordan offered and Asher nodded.

“I know, and I have no issue about this relationship as long as Addy’s content and happy. You’re the best men I know and Iam positive you’ll take care of my sister as she deserves to be. I just don’t want any of you rushing it.” Asher turned his focus to me before he spoke again. “Addy, you’ve been through so much. I just want to be sure you know whatever happens, it goes at a pace you’re comfortable with. These guys may all be like brothers to me, but I won’t hesitate to break necks if they hurt you.”

“And I’ll help,” Eli grumbled as he sent a glare around the table to my guys. “Addy’s special. You fucker’s better remember that.”

Tears filled my eyes at the overwhelming emotion inside of me. Asher and Eli had just threatened bodily harm to protect me. I’d never had that before I met them. I’d never even had anyone who cared enough to take an interest in my life or what happened to me. I knew, deep down, of course. I had known since the day my brothers walked into that police station in Vegas and stood up for me, that they were protective and that they cared, but it still overwhelmed me every single time they showed it so very openly and boldly.

“We know, Eli,” Adam nodded as he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his side.

“I can’t promise to never hurt her,” Kane said. I looked over and met his eyes warily. “This relationship thing is new to me, especially with these two assholes involved.” He pointed between Adam and Jordan, who he was seated between. “I’m gonna screw up sometimes. We all know it. But I swear I will never do anything to intentionally hurt her, and I’ll always do everything I can to protect her and make her smile.”

“We all will,” Jordan agreed.

“You guys couldn’t let me get through one damned day without crying, could you?” I sniffled with a tearful smile as I looked between them all around the table.

“As long as they’re happy tears, beautiful,” Jordan told me as he reached across the table and covered my hands with his.

“They are.”

The realization was a bewildering one. How, in the chaos of all that had happened to me, with horrible memories coming back to me whenever they wanted, a possible threat hanging over my life, and the horror that had been discovered about the past of Joseph Lyle, was I sat at a table with my brothers and three men I was crazy about, smiling and crying happy tears? It was insane, but also such a huge relief. Maybe I could be okay, one day, I realized. Maybe with these amazing men at my back, and some focus in my future, I would be able to fight back the demons and the darkness within me enough to find a life I never in a million years dreamed would be possible for me. A life where I could balance my past trauma enough to find a present and future filled with family, love, and happiness. It was still tough to believe it was a possibility after everything, but that belief was becoming greater with every day that passed.

CHAPTER 17

ADDY

“I think I’m going to enjoy this.” The voice startled me. It was a voice I recognized now. Joseph Lyle. He’s standing over me, that smug smile on his sick face.

In the blink of an eye we’re in that room, alone. I’m cowering on the floor as he runs his hand through my hair, making me shudder.

“You’re pretty, but I saw that fire in your eyes. You’re tough too, just begging to be broken.” I cry out, desperate for it to end. Desperate for this man to not be there. I slam my eyes closed; his face too close to mine now as he yanks at my hair he has now wrapped around his hand.

When I dare to open my eyes again, praying it’s all over, I’m on the bed. My wrists and ankles are bound to the bed posts. I try hard to pull on the ropes, desperate to get free, but all I feel is the coarse rope cutting into my wrists and ankles, at each corner. I pull against them as I lift my head.

“Time for that lesson I promised you, little girl,” Joseph says as he stands over me, his shirt gone and his chest bare. Another blink and he’s on the bed. Leaning so closely into me that I can feel the heat of him on my skin. “Remember, I’m always in control and I never, ever lose.” I feel his breath brush my cheek as he speaks, then his cold hand skimming down my body.

More flashes come then, one after the other. Snippets of my memories. I feel pain – so much pain. There’s screaming - never-ending, deafening screaming, and I see Joseph leaning over me again, the whip in his hand, blood dripping from it and onto the white sheets.

“Scream louder, little girl. Scream all you like for me,” he hisses.

---