Page 61 of Lost in the Light

“What happened?” he asked.

“A nightmare. A really bad one. She was scared, but I managed to bring her round. She was talking to me. She said she could feel hands on her, so I suggested a shower. By the time I got her up and into the bathroom, she was like this. She won’t answer me. She won’t even move. I…I didn’t know what to do,” I explained, knowing I sounded a little frantic.

Jordan rose up onto his knees and leant around until he could see the side of Addy’s face. He placed a hand on her back and ran it up and down slowly.

“Hey princess,” he said gently. Addy didn’t respond, but her fingers around my shoulders twitched. “We really need you to talk to us, right now, beautiful,” he added when he got nothing in return.

Addy shook her head just slightly, then pressed her face against my chest. I could feel her, still way too fast, breaths against my skin, and she was shaking so damned hard in my arms.

“You don’t have to talk, Addy, but we need to know what you want,” I told her as I held her even closer and pressed my chin against the top of her head. “You want to go back to bed? Jordan can stay with us too. We can get you all snuggled up between us,” I suggested.

“Shower,” she whimpered, then she hid her face again, and I could feel tears running from her cheeks and onto my skin.

“Okay, babe. You want to go in with your clothes on, or you want us to take them off?” Jordan asked as he rose to his feet, and again leaned in close to her.

“I n-need it all gone. I c-can still feel him,” she said and I was relieved to hear her talking more. I was starting to worry she was becoming catatonic.

Jordan looked to me with question and I mouthed the one word that would make it all clear to him. ‘Joseph’

Jordan stood up and rubbed his hand over his face as he took a deep breath. I knew what he was feeling in that moment. If Joesph Lyle were still alive I’d have ripped the man limb from limb by now for what he’d put his kids through, but especially Addy. He’d raped her! He had to know who she was and he fucking raped his own daughter!

“Okay. Let’s do this. Let’s get her in the bathroom where it’s warmer first,” Jordan directed and I just followed. I was usually the one giving orders, but I couldn’t in this scenario. I was too terrified I’d get it wrong and make things even worse for the woman I was seriously starting to think I was in love with.

“One of us will need to go in with her. I don’t think she’ll be able to stand. She’s shaking too hard,” I told Jordan as we reached the steam filled bathroom.

“We’re both going in with her, unless you have an issue? One of us can hold her while the other one gets her clean. I think that’s what she needs.” I wasn’t sure I had ever heard Jordan sound so serious and in control, but I was seriously fucking grateful for it in that moment.

Jordan made quick work of pulling off the pajamas Addy wore, and we both tried not to look, even if it did almost fucking kill me having her naked body pressed tightly into my front.

Jordan stripped off the shorts he wore so he stood in just his boxers, then he held his arms out. I reluctantly handed Addy over so I could shuck the pants I’d slept in. Once I was down to my boxers too, I slid the door of the shower open and stepped in, hating having Addy away from me for those few seconds that Jordan had gotten her into the shower without me, especially in the state she was.

“Kane’s here now. We’ve both got you. Everything’s gonna be okay,” Jordan soothed her as I stepped up to her back under the spray and grabbed some body wash.

I tried not to think about how silky soft her skin felt under my hands as I washed her, starting at her legs and making my way up to her thighs, then her back and shoulders. It was the first time I had fully seen the scars that marred her back and shoulders and I had to take some deep breaths to hold back my rage at the realization of just howe much she had truly been through.

There were many scars, of different sizes and shapes, the causes of some, like the puckered lines clearly made by a knife, obvious, while others had my mind going to some dark places, imagining what could have caused them and the pain and fear she had to have felt with every single one placed on her creamy, silky skin.

Even with the scars she was so beautiful and sexy. She was too thin, but her shape whispered of the possibility of curves if she got back to a healthy weight. Her skin was so soft and smooth, and the perfect curve of her ass was calling for me to press against her.

Thank God Jordan had thought to keep her panties on, because even though the moment was far from sexual, my dick seemed to be getting ideas all of its own.

I slid my hands between Addy and Jordan and ran soap over her stomach and sides, then up her chest, just glancing over her breasts and trying not to think about how good those perfect handfuls felt. The fact I was also running the backs of my hands against a dude in the process helped me to calm my dick back down, thank fuck. The last thing I wanted to do was traumatize my already traumatized girlfriend with an erection.

“You want us to wash your hair, Addy?” Jordan asked when I’d finished rinsing away all of the soap.

My relief was indescribable when Addy pulled her face from where it had been resting against Jordan’s shoulder and looked up at him. It was the biggest response we’d had from her since she zoned out.

“Where’s Kane?” she rasped.

“Here, angel. I’m right here,” I said as I stepped up to her back and ran my hand down her arm. Even under the warm spray of the shower, she still felt ice cold, and the shaking wasn’t getting any better either. She wrapped her petite hand around my wrist and pulled my arm around to her front.

“H-hold me…please. Just for a while,” she squeaked, and I knew more tears were coming. I stepped closer until my front was pressed to her back, then I slid an arm around her chest and one around her middle. Jordan was holding her too and we pressed her between us as the floodgates opened and she started to wrack with sobs.

As we both held on to her tightly, and whispered words we hoped would reassure her, that we had her and that she was safe, I realized something. I realized that this crazy sounding relationship, that Jordan had proposed, really could be exactly what Addy needed. After everything she had survived – not just in the years she was held by those sick fucks, but also during her childhood with her bitch of a mother, and all the years after that she’d had to learn to live and cope completely alone – she needed all of us to love her. She needed more than any one of us could give her. She needed the support, protection, and nurturing of all three of us.

One of us could never be enough, especially not me. I was so fucked up, that I had resigned myself to living the rest of my life alone, so sure I would never be able to make a relationship work. Adam too had his demons which I knew he fought on a daily basis. Jordan was the most together of all of us, but he had his own scars after witnessing the death of his parents, and dealing with the fallout of it all at such a young age. None of us were perfect and we never could be, but maybe together we could be everything Addy needed. Maybe together we could find a way to make things work and carve out a future for ourselves – a future worthy of the amazing woman we all adored.

I don’t know how long we stood there under the shower, but Addy’s sobs seemed to calm some eventually and she was getting more and more relaxed in my arms.

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