Page 101 of Forever Found

THREE MONTHS LATER…

“Please just slow down, Addy,” Jordan cried as he gripped the dash of my new car and rubbed at his face with his free hand. “Fuck!” he cried when a car came the other way on the quiet road and I had to swerve a little to get out of the way.

“God! I love this car!” I whooped excitedly.

“Why didn’t we check you’re driving before we bought it for you? That’s what I’m wondering,” Jordan ground out.

“There’s nothing wrong with my driving!”

“You’re going way over the speed limit and do you even know what side of the road you should be on?”

“I’m excited. I want to get there. Ash has kept everything so quiet. I want to see the new place!” I explained happily. I still couldn’t believe the team Asher hired had got the new house built as quickly as they had, but I was grateful for it.

While the lease house we’d been in for the last few months was comfortable and spacious, it just wasn’t home. I hadn’t even fully unpacked everything, knowing there was little point when it was just temporary. I wanted to have a home, our home.

It had been an odd time since Max Kline’s trial. He had been found guilty, thank the Lord! And he was facing the rest of his life in prison for the part he played in the trafficking ring, and in the kidnap of Eli and I. I never needed to fear him again. His finances had been investigated and most of it seized, so even if he wanted revenge, he couldn’t afford to pay anyone to take it on his behalf.

Bull and the other thugs who got rounded up by the FBI were also all behind bars now, as were many of the wealthy people who had attended those sick parties, run by Joseph. It finally was all over, and there had been some people saved along the way, all of whom Asher and Eli had worked to help with finding their families, new housing, and the help they needed to heal from what they’d been through.

It had certainly helped me to take steps to start healing, knowing the threat was gone and that the whole operation no longer existed. I had dove deep into my sessions with Laura and used every single one to try and unearth some of the pain that was hidden deep in the darkness within me. It was a work in progress and I knew it would be a long time before I got to the bottom of everything.

The darkness was still there, inside of me, and as Kane had once told me – it always would be, but I had learned how to control it most of the time. I used a ton of breathing exercises and I had recently started meditating too. The meds I was still taking helped to keep me more balanced and somewhere along the way I had started to have more good days than bad.

The memories still came sometimes, mainly when something triggered them, and I’d be thrown into a flash back I didn’t have time to try and stop. Most of them were of my time at the club, or with Hilton, and they were always of me being hurt and abusedin some way. They crushed me when they came, and it always took me a while to come back from them, but I was never alone. Even if my guys were all working, Eli was usually close by, and I went to him if I needed to. Even my security – Simon and the stoic Mal, had assured me I could go to them when I needed to, if no one else was with me, and I had a couple of times.

That was the biggest change in me, I guessed. I no longer saw my scariest, hardest moments as a weakness that I needed to hide. I had learned that what I was going through and learning to overcome, was something that had been done to me, not a weakness I needed to hide. I knew when the memories, or the past sneaked up on me, and gripped me tightly, as it still did on occasion, I didn’t have to hide. And I couldn’t because that was when that darkness within me really got it’s nails in and dragged me down. I needed help in those nightmarish moments, and I had learned to seek that help out now.

“We won’t get there at all if you carry on like this!” Jordan growled, pulling me back to the present. “Just slow down or I’m definitely ratting you out to Kane,” he threatened and I turned to him with a glare.

“Eyes on the road!” he barked with fear and I took pity on him and slowed a little.

“Don’t say a thing to Kane or he will never let me drive this beauty again,” I warned.

The guys had gifted me the car two days earlier. They knew we were moving back to the house this week and they wanted me to be able to drive to the center –The Light– myself when I needed to. Of course my shadow would be with me if I were alone, but I appreciated how hard Adam, Kane, and Jordan tried to give me back as much independence as they could. They knew it wasimportant to me. They understood my need to prove to myself that I could stand on my own two feet, even if I didn’t really need to with all of the support I had around me.

Of course they never stopped worrying about me, especially Kane, and the car – a Mercedes SUV – had been rated one of the safest on the market to drive. It had come with a ton of conditions from the guys, but mainly Kane, such as, one of them had to be with me if Simon or Mal weren’t, I always had to have my cell with me, I wasn’t to drive when I was upset, if a flashback came I was to pull over safely and call one of them as soon as I could. The list went on and on, but I didn’t grumble because I knew they did it because they loved me, and because I had put them through hell with my mental health so far.

I gave them what they needed, because they always tried so hard to give me what I needed, even if it terrified them. Like the way they gifted me the car and gave me the freedom to drive myself places, even though they would worry sick every moment I wasn’t with them. They understood I needed the freedom though. The fact I would always have security or one of my guys with me, eased Asher and Eli’s worries too, to a point, since they too had never stopped being completely over protective.

I was pretty sure my brothers would never stop worrying about me, but as they told me often – I was their baby sister and it was their job to look out for me. After having no one in my life for so very long, I was more grateful than I could ever say to have the both of them, and I was good with them always wanting to be there for me, as long as that worked both ways.

“I’m not sureI’mever gonna let you drive it again after this,” Jordan retorted.

“You can’t stop me.”

“I can. If Kane can put his foot down, then I can too, princess, and there’s no way I’m letting you put your life at risk by driving like a crazy person,” Jordan warned.

He had surprised me if I were honest. Kane and Adam had always been a little more dominant and I couldn’t say I didn’t enjoy that about them, especially in the bedroom where they’d started to push me more and more with their commanding tones and enjoyment of control. It turned me on no end and sex had become something I reveled in with all of them now.

I no longer had fears, trusting all three of my guys completely. With Kane and Adam I was able to give up all control and not think about anything but what they wanted from me and my pleasure. That worked for me and I was fully embracing the submissive side of myself.

Jordan was different. He was playful and fun. When we had sex we usually started off laughing and teasing, which also made me hot as hell, and the sex between us was mind blowing.

And outside of the bedroom things worked in a similar way. Kane was the most dominant and he often put his foot down when he was concerned for my safety, or worried about me in general. He set rules sometimes, that gave me boundaries that I craved. Adam was somewhere in between. He could be firm when he wanted or needed to be, but he mainly kept his dominance in the bedroom, unless he felt he needed to bring it out at other times. Generally the rules were for my benefit, much like the rules they’d laid down with me so long ago now. It consisted of things like not hiding from them when I was upset, and eating regular meals. They were things that were common sense really, but that when I was having tough days, I sometimes neglected. I expected that of Kane and Adam though. They’dalways been that way with me if I looked back and thought about it.

But Jordan had always been my joker and the one I turned to for comfort when I wanted to just let go, and he still was most of the time, but he’d also started to unleash some dominance when he was worried about me, just like right then in the car. I found I freaking loved it when he got firm with me. It turned me on instantly, and I was questioning lately just how far my submissive desires actually went.

If my soaked panties as I turned to Jordan with shock were anything to go by, pretty far.

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