Page 72 of Forever Found

“Addy, look at me now, angel,” Kane was saying as I slipped into Addy’s room, closing the door behind me.

Adam was sat on the end of the bed with Addy in his lap sideways. She was curled into him, her head resting against his shoulder.

Kane was sat beside them, bent down, studying her as he spoke. Adam glanced up to me and I saw the worry on his face.

“Let Jordan try. He’s been a lot closer to her than us for a while now. Maybe she’ll respond to him,” Ad suggested.

“She loves you guys too, just the way she always has,” I sighed, hating the way I could see they were both beating themselves up.

“He’s right. You need to try, Jordan. She’s not responding at all right now,” Kane agreed, though he didn’t seem pleased about it.

Adam handed Addy off to me and I moved to the top of the bed, pulling back the comforter and sitting against the head board with her in my arms. Adam tucked the comforter over the both of us as I moved to get Addy so she was straddling my thighs, just the way I knew she liked to be held. The sense of relief that rushed over me when she actually moved her legs a little to help me, was overwhelming.

“Let’s get more comfortable, okay princess?” I said, hoping she’d respond to me. She didn’t, but she did move her head until her ear lay over my heart. I knew she liked that too. The sound of my heart beat seemed to calm her when she woke from nightmares, or felt anxious. She pulled her arms against her chest, then grabbed a handful of my sweater in each as she finally seemed to settle against me. She let out a deep breath, which I took as a good sign.

“I’m here, Addy. We all are. You’re alright. You’re safe. We’re never letting go,” I whispered as I ran my hand over her wild hair over and over, wanting her to feel my touch, praying it would bring her back to us.

“Where are the others?” she whispered after a few silent moments. I barely heard her, but Adam and Kane did. They both dropped to the empty side of the bed in an instant and Kane rubbed a hand over her trembling back as Adam placed his hand on her denim covered thigh.

“We’re right here too, angel,” Kane told her.

“Talk to us, baby. Please. Tell us what we can do,” Adam begged.

“I…I don’t know,” she uttered shakily. “I don’t know how to make it stop. Can y-you make it stop?”

“You’re exhausted, Addy, and you’ve barely eaten for two days. It’s making you weak, and that’s allowing all of that darkness to get a hold of you. You have to eat for us, and get some sleep, crazy girl,” Kane told her gently, but with a definite note of sternness.

“I have Ash’s sleeping pills,” I spoke up. “They’re not that strong, but they will make you sleep deep. If you can eat something and take one, I’m sure you’ll feel a lot better when you wake up.”

“He’s right, Addy. Please honey, just do that for us, and for you. You can’t go on like this,” Adam pleaded. “You’re hurting yourself and it’s killing all of us. Ash and Eli are worried sick downstairs too.”

“I don’t know,” she moaned tearfully as she finally opened her eyes and looked between us, her gaze landing on Kane.

“What don’t you know?” he asked, moving his hand to her cheek and cupping it in his hand.

“If I even w-want to feel better. If it stops then it…it just starts again soon after. I can’t d-do it anymore, Kane. I can’t keep holding on. I d-don’t have anything left to hold on with!” She cried.

I couldn’t stop myself from jolting as the meaning behind those words slapped me in the face as hard as any fist could. She couldn’t be saying what I thought she was, right? She wouldn’t leave us. She couldn’t!

“You know what I’m gonna ask you, angel,” Kane said calmly, doing a way better job at masking his panic than Adam and I. Adam had actually sat up and reared back a little like he too had been punched by her words.

“I don’t know the answer, Kane,” she whimpered.

“To what? What were you gonna ask?” I demanded.

“If she actually wants to die? It’s what I asked her when she was first here, when she was in a bad place and she came to me,” Kane admitted.

“Baby, no. Don’t you dare even say you don’t know the answer to that question. Of course you don’t want to die!” Adam said with desperation.

“I’m sorry!” she cried. “I know I sh-should be stronger, but I’m not! I’m broken and I hurt so…so much. I can’t keep fighting. It’s too hard!”

“Breathe beautiful. Everything’s okay. We’re gonna fix this,” I tried to soothe her as she started to gasp for breaths once her desperate confession ended. I had no idea how to fix any of it, but I damn well knew I would. No one, and nothing was taking her from me, I wouldn’t allow it.

“We shouldn’t talk about this right now,” Kane spoke up. His voice was calm but his face showed real strain and worry. “You’re too tired to even think straight. I’m taking over for now, you hear me Addy? I’m in charge. You’re going to do what I think is best and get some sleep.” Addy nodded, but she didn’t lift her head from where she had buried it against my chest again, and didn’t speak.

We worked together to make sure she ate a sandwich, which Eli brought for her, and she drank some water too. Kane was being really firm with her, and telling her that he thought she could try to eat more, or drink more when she continually tried to push away the offerings, and it would have pissed me off, except Addy was responding to him, and doing what he asked of her without looking worried or getting upset.

When he talked her through Ash’s sleeping pills, and told her she’d only need to take one, he was able to reassure her enough that she’d sleep soundly, that she easily gave in and took the pill he pressed to her lips.

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