Page 65 of Evergreen Christmas

But just as she reached her truck, which was parked on the far side of the parking lot, she heard Nate call her name.

Her hand stilled on the door handle, and she closed her eyes for a moment, wishing she’d chosen a less dramatic exit from the Christmas competition. But last night, after Roxie’s beautiful presentation of the Christmas tree at Frosted Firs, she hadn’t anticipated winning the Christmas tree contest and had hoped that tonight she would be congratulating Nate, Roxie, and Tucker on their victory rather than accepting a win of her own.

Instead, her name had been called and there she was, sitting on stage in front of all of Noel’s residents, forced to make a decision on the spot.

“Jordyn?” Nate’s deep voice sounded close at her back. “Would you please slow down for a minute and talk to me?”

Reluctantly, she opened her eyes and faced him, wincing at the hurt and confusion in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Nate. I truly didn’t mean to cause such a scene. But I didn’t expect to win, so I didn’t think I’d be put in that position to begin with.”

Nate shook his head. “What do you mean you didn’t think you would win? Your tree was perfect. You have to know that. It’s—hands-down—the best tree we’ve ever had in the competition.”

The warm approval in his tone made her smile—a real one that warmed her chest and broke her heart all at the same time.

“That means a lot to me,” she said, smiling wider. “I mean, considering it’s coming from a bona fide expert in Christmas trees and all.”

Nate smiled back and a soft chuckle escaped his lips. “I don’t know that I’m an expert, but I do know a thing or two about Christmas trees and I have to say, the love and attention you put into decorating yours made it outshine the others.”

Her smile faded. “I don’t think so. I think there was more love and affection in Roxie’s tree than could have ever been in mine.”

Nate held her gaze, his grin fading, too. “Roxie wanted to do something special for her mother this year. She asked me to help her incorporate the things Macy liked most and I—”

“You don’t have to explain,” she said quickly. “You had every right to dedicate your tree to Macy. I know you and Roxie both love her very much and still miss her.”

“Yes,” he said softly. “But—”

“I’ve thought it over and I think you’re right.”

He fell silent for a moment, staring back at her with a guarded expression, then asked, “Right about what?”

“You were right about thinking it wasn’t a good time to explore a relationship.” It hurt to say the words out loud. She could almost feel her heart breaking into a million pieces. “You told me you weren’t ready in the very beginning, and I should’ve listened. I never should have pushed you into something you weren’t ready for. And then there’s Roxie . . .”

Nate remained silent, his eyes searching her expression intently.

“It wasn’t until I spent some time alone with her, baking gingerbread”—she smiled gently at the memory—“that I realized how much she misses having a mother. And then I thought that if you and I started a relationship and somewhere down the road, you realized you weren’t really ready to let Macy go and didn’t have a place for me in your heart, I wouldn’t be able to bear the thought of walking away from her. And I couldn’t bear knowing that I’d been the cause of breaking her heart.” Her throat tightened and she swallowed past the knot forming in her throat, trying to keep her voice steady. “What I’m trying to say is that if I had to choose, I’d rather have you and Roxie in my life as good neighbors and friends rather than risk losing you both for good.”

Nate continued staring at her, his jaw clenching as he looked away, glancing back at the lights of the town square, where holiday music had begun playing and cheerful voices filled the air.

“Are you sure that’s the best way to avoid the risk?” he asked softly.

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

He faced her then, saying softly, “The Nanas—Kandy, in particular—told me during one of the Christmas contests that no matter what we might do to avoid it, life brings risk all the same.”

The wounded look in his blue eyes sent a wave of pain through her.

“Yes,” she whispered. “I think I agree with that. So, you see, I’m faced with a pretty tough dilemma. Either I risk loving and losing you and Roxie, or we remain neighbors and friends, and I keep you both in my life in some way.”

Something tickled her cheek and she brushed her hand over her face, wiping away a tear.

“I won’t cut my Fraser fir down,” she whispered, holding his gaze. “And I won’t risk losing you and Roxie. I plan to put roots down here in Noel. It already feels like home. Star and I will continue settling in at Chestnut Ridge, I’ll work on starting up my business, and every now and then I’ll pop over to Frosted Firs Ranch to use your oven and ask for advice.” She smiled, a real one this time. “We’ll be good friends. And maybe, down the road, when you’re truly ready, we can have this conversation again.”

Before she could change her mind, she rose to her toes, kissed his cheek, and whispered, “I wish, with all my heart, that you and Roxie have a very Merry Christmas.”

She returned to her truck, climbed into the driver’s seat and cranked the engine. As she drove away, she glanced in the rearview mirror, a fresh wave of tears flowing freely down her face as Nate stood motionless in the dark and watched her leave.

Chapter Fourteen

Later that night, the drive home from Noel’s town square to Frosted Firs Ranch seemed to take longer than it ever had before as Nate, Tucker and Roxie made their way home.

---