Page 100 of Serial Burn

Silence fell between them. He started the car, needing a moment to think.

“But,” she said as he pulled out of the parking lot, “Lainie asked me a question that I can’t stop thinking about.”

“What’s that?”

“She asked if I thought my family would expect me to sacrifice my life, my happiness for their justice.”

“Wow. That’s pretty deep.”

“Very.”

“Did you have an answer?”

“No. I mean I know what therightanswer is. Or what the answershouldbe. They’d never want me to do that. But then again, I didn’t really have the chance to know them long enough and well enough to know if that’s true or not.”

“What would your aunt Carol say?”

“That they’d want me to live my life, not sacrifice it. She’s encouraged me to do that for years. Especially when she saw how driven I was to excel in my career choice.”

“Then why do you feel like you have to? Sacrifice your life, I mean.”

“I don’t feel like Ihaveto, I feel like Iwantto know who killed my family. No. Ineedto know. Ineedsomeone to blame, Nathan. I need to put a face and a name to the arsonist. And now, I need to know why he’s suddenly decided to target me.”

So shedidthink the guy they were chasing was the one who’d burned her house down and killed her family twenty years ago.

Frankly, he didn’t think she was wrong. “Then let’s get back to work. We can put our personal ... whatever it is ... on the shelf and when it’s all over, we’ll revisit it if that’s what both of us want.” She nodded, her eyes cloudy. He frowned. “Was there something else?”

“Well, I’ve come this far in unzipping my baggage for all to see. Might as well admit that after all this is over and if we finally manage to catch the person who killed my family, I’m worried I won’t know who I’ll be.”

“What do you mean? You’re still you.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I’ve never been me. I’ve always been the poor girl who lost her family and then grew up to be a fire marshal with the whole intention of catching her family’s killer. Other than that? I don’t know who I am or who I’m supposed to be.”

Nathan’s heart slugged a painful beat. He wanted to fix it for her. To help her understand she was amazing and wonderful and that God had a plan for her life. And while part of that plan mightentail finding the arsonist who killed her family, there was so much more than that.

“We all have a purpose for being here, Jess,” he said softly. “Some of us just take longer to figure out what that is. I’ve known ever since Danny was killed that I had to be able to protect the people I loved. That I had to have skills and resources to keep them safe.”

“And being an FBI agent is the way that you chose to do that. Makes sense.”

“Yeah. Well, a cop first, but I found I was good at it and loved climbing the ladder. I love my job. Most of the time.”

“And so do I.”

“Then that’s a start, right?”

She offered him a small smile. “Yes. It’s a start.”

TWENTY-FOUR

Jesslyn settled onto the Airbnb’s comfortable couch with a printed report of all the people who’d owned homes in the neighborhood she’d lived in the first seven years of her life. The Nelsons were still at the top of her list to talk to since they’d been close friends with her parents—and they still lived there. And ever since Chief Laramie mentioned her father’s connection to the general store, she’d meant to check on that.

But with her conversation with Nathan still ringing in the back of her head, she found it hard to focus. She shut her eyes.Focus. Focus. Focus. This is your purpose for now. You can worry about everything else later.

She scrolled down the rest of the list. It was a large neighborhood with a hundred and seven homes. She didn’t recognize or remember a single name other than the Nelsons. And she only knew that name thanks to Aunt Carol’s sharing.

Nathan walked in from the back of the house and stopped. “Can you tuck that away?”

She followed his gaze to her weapon on the end table. “Yeah, sure.” She slid it into the shoulder holster. “Eli okay?”

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