Page 47 of House of Royals

It’s been a long, long time since I’ve been with a man. I’ve been on only a few dates since my mom died. I’m far out of practice and I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t be any good at this anymore.

But Ian and I together…we are magic.

I’ve crossed a line before, though, and there was a price to be paid.

“Ian,” I say against every instinct in my body. “I…I want to be careful.”

Ian backs away from me just slightly so he can look down in my face. “I don’t exactly want to stop this, cause damn,” he chuckles, and I can feel all the ways his body is reacting. “But I’m not the kind of guy to just take a girl on the kitchen counter for his first time.”

A little chuckle makes its way out of my chest. “There’s no way you’re a virgin,” I say before I can think to stop it.

“And why the hell not?” he demands, his brows furrowing in offense.

“Because,” I say. I can’t help the smile on my face, he’s totally joking. “You’re you. You’re all cocky and presumptuous and you say the stuff you say without thinking twice about it. There’s just no way.”

“Well,” he says, his eyes softening. He runs the back of his fingers over my cheek. “It’s true. I’ve been too busy taking care of my family and trying to keep the streets of Silent Bend clean to form much of a relationship. And honestly, it’s hard to bond with anyone with a normal life, when mine has been so…un-normal.”

His eyes are soft and open. And I can see it there, that it’s true.

“I’m sorry,” I say, placing my hand over his and trapping his hand on my cheek. “I just—”

“It’s okay,” he interrupts. “But I take it that you’re not a virgin, too.”

I shrug, trying to be casual, but really, I’m ashamed. “Just once, the summer after high school. I’d just broken up with my high school boyfriend. You could say it was a rebound or revenge. Whatever it was, it was a mistake.”

“That sounds super romantic,” Ian says as he climbs off of me and back to the floor.

“Yeah, it was about as much as it sounds.” He gives me a hand so I can slip to the edge of the counter. There’s sugar caked on my entire back and everywhere in my hair. “You’ve got egg all over both of us.”

“Now I’m delicious and smoking hot,” he says with a wink. The timer goes off and I pull out some perfect cookies. I grab one and hand another to Ian. They’re scalding hot, but I have baker’s hands after all those years in the kitchen.

Ian takes a huge bite out of his cookie, no doubt burning his tongue. “Come on, let’s go get cleaned up.” He reaches out for me, and hand in hand, snacking on cookies made in the dark, we walk back toward the stairs.

We find Ian’s and my clothes folded and placed on my bed. I blush at that. Did Rath really make those assumptions? But Ian takes his clothes and heads for one of the guest bathrooms while I shower in my own.

I pull on some cotton shorts and a tank when I get out and braid my hair over my shoulder. A minute later, Ian saunters back into my room and leans with his shoulder in the doorway.

“Well, I guess I’d better get back home,” he says. He studies me, but it isn’t demanding, or provocative. He’s just seeing…me.

“You don’t have to,” I confess quietly. Because for the first time since moving here and living in this house, I haven’t felt alone.

Neither of us says anything for a long time. We stare at each other, and there are a lot of thoughts going on. We know this can’t end in a good way. He has his place in life and I have mine, whether I want it or not.

But we’re here. And there’s no question that we are something cosmic when we’re together.

“Okay,” he finally says quietly.

He flicks the light switch off. I turn off the light in the bathroom. We both climb into the gigantic bed, and I tuck myself into Ian’s side. He presses a light kiss to my forehead, wrapping his arms around me.

Here. Here I am safe. Here I am understood.

And that’s it.

We listen to each other breathe for a long while. And eventually, we sleep.

IAN ISN’T THERE WHEN I wake in the morning.

Somehow that doesn’t surprise me. He’s always doing stuff when he should be sleeping. I’m sure he had something to take care of. And he does have work today. He’s doing a double shift.

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