Page 32 of A Spark in the Ash

I nod because she’s right. So, I reach my hand out for Jaxon’s. He takes it, still seeming a little overwhelmed, but he follows me back outside.

I climb into the driver’s seat this time. Jaxon collapses into the passenger seat.

As we drive back, he’s quiet. And it’s okay. He’s allowed to process what this is.

For his entire life, he was one thing. Human. Yes, he hunted down people who owed his family money. He was around questionable people all the time.

But he was the same. He was normal.

And now he’s this entirely new creature. A guardian. An ultralight.

How he is keeping it all together is still a miracle to me.

So, I let him have his quiet, as the four of us speed back to the compound.

Chapter Eleven

I keep counting them.

Twenty.

Thirty.

Forty.

Forty-seven.

There are supposed to be fifty of us.

It’s been just short of one month since Jaxon was tested and proven the gatekeeper. It’s been just short of one month since word was given to all the darklings throughout the world that they could come back to the gate.

But I count again, and there are only forty-seven of us.

While we watch the others fight, following Ascelin’s lead in the dark, I lean over to Nisha. “The other three?” I ask simply.

“They’re not coming,” she says in that monotone, cold way of hers. “They’ve…established lives where they are. They say they’re prepared to be separated from us.”

As I watch Philomena lay into Layla, my chest fills with complicated knots.

I feel just a little resentful toward those three darklings who haven’t come back. It feels as if they’ve turned their backs on their own kind. They’ve closed the door to a huge part of themselves. You don’t abandon your troop.

But as my thoughts float down into the compound, to a bedroom right next to mine, I know I’m being a hypocrite.

I swallow once but my throat feels dry and tight. Because when I think about the time when the gate opens, I don’t know if I will be able to make my feet move forward.

"Serena," a demonic voice calls to me from across the desert.

I look up and see Renwick in his darkling form, crooking two claws at me, beckoning me forward.

I'd much rather fight him than think about the complicated emotions running through my head. So, I step forward and let my shadows take over.

It's such a relief, every single time I shift. Jaxon's presence is still difficult. I'm still fighting the urge every moment, to shift and fight him. So having these moments where I can let it all go, I think they are critical. I think we all need to let it loose, so no accidents happen.

I relish in it as my body rips apart into smoke and claws. I let out an unearthly howl as I sprint forward, my gaze fixed on Renwick.

I launched myself through the air, but Renwick is prepared.

He grabs me with his pinchers and flings me around to the other side of him. But the second my claws hit the ground, I'm scratching through it, propelling myself back toward him. We collide with a thunderous smack.

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