Page 42 of A Spark in the Ash

It makes sense. It makes so much sense. It explains why she is the way she is. And surely she’s been this way for a long, long time.

Since before Jaxon was born.

I can’t even wrap my brain around that and what it means. Vivian had already embraced her possession when she had most, if not all, her children. Does that mean anything?

No, it can’t. As I look up at Jaxon, I know that it can’t.

He may not be black or white, he’s as gray as his last name, but Jaxon is a good man.

“How?” I ask as the awe hits me. “How…” I shake my head because I can barely even process this. “You knew. You sensed it before we even walked inside. How were you able to fight it? How are you fighting it right now?”

When a guardian senses a dusk, it’s almost impossible to fight the urge to immediately exorcise it. And Jaxon is brand new. He’s only exorcised two of the dusk. He barely has control over his ultralight form, and he just fought it, for at least five minutes, with one standing two feet away from him.

I wouldn’t have that level of self-control. Ascelin wouldn’t. Even Davorian wouldn’t be able to stop it.

Yet somehow, Jaxon was able to keep himself from shifting with her standing right in front of him.

“I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to contain it,” Jaxon breathes hard as he resumes pacing. “I nearly ripped her apart the second I walked into the penthouse. Every second in there was…” I can easily see what it was and how it affected him.

I lean back against the curtain and the glass.

It’s incredible. It’s incredible on a level I can’t even explain.

Darklings and ultralights evolved to rid the verses of the dusk, the unstable energy created because of the gate between verses. It’s why we exist.

Yet somehow, Jaxon was able to hold it at bay.

“How long has she been like this?” Jaxon asks as he continues to pace back and forth. “I can’t recall a time when she suddenly changed. She’s always been cold and calculating and heartless. Serena,” he pauses, his glowing eyes rising up to look at me. “I think she’s been this way since…probably since her dad died and she took over the family business.”

I nod, because it makes sense, and Jaxon resumes pacing. But suddenly, he stops. “Wait. Shouldn’t you have been able to tell?”

I shake my head, feeling a loss of purpose. “I’m not in my own verse, Jaxon. I can’t sense the dusk here. I can still exorcise it, but I can’t sense it here.”

He pauses, thinking about that for a moment, and then he continues pacing.

And now I have to wonder, if Vivian has been possessed this long, how long have our resident ultralights been trying to get to her? Vivian isn’t an easy person to track down and get alone.

“What are you going to do?” I ask quietly.

Jaxon stops once more, still facing the wall, pointed toward his mother. He’s not even breathing as he thinks.

“I remember you telling me that I would know, that it would be obvious that there was only one way to take care of someone who has embraced the dusk,” he says. His voice is low and rough. He looks back over his shoulder back at me. “I can’t kill my mother, Serena. Not in front of my family. Not today.”

And the haunted look in his eyes tells me the rest:maybe not ever.

I swallow once and my hands feel cold. “Do you want me to do it?”

Because I can. I can end Vivian and the dusk that she has embraced. It’s what I evolved to do. Even though I couldn’t sense her.

Jaxon holds my eyes, and the turmoil happening inside of him is so obvious to see right now. He lets out one shallow breath. “Not yet. Not today. I need some time to figure this out.”

I just nod, even though it’s killing me. The urge doesn’t stir inside of me, not like it does in the DarkVerse. There, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. But the memory of what that felt like awakens, and my darkling is itching to do its job. “Okay.”

He closes his eyes, squeezing them closed hard and he lets out a frustrated breath. “But for now, we have to go back in there. We have to play this out.”

Looking at him now, I’m not sure how that is going to be possible. I can look at him now, but only barely and I know I’m going to have a massive headache later. And it’s a good thing he’s worked through his literal fire, because otherwise this whole place would be one gigantic torch.

But Jaxon closes his eyes. He curls his fingers into fists. His lips thin out as he focuses.

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