Page 23 of A Spark in the Ash

I shake my head. "That's not what I want. I'm done dodging all of them. I'm done being away from you. I don't give a damn what their opinions are of us. I don't care if they don't understand."

He smiles slightly. "Okay."

"Things won't be as hard now when it comes to that," I continue. "Most of the others have moved out. It's kind of going to go back to normal. Just me, and Davorian and Ascelin, and Renwick and Philomena. And Nisha. They are not happy about this, but I think they can deal with it."

"Sounds like we have one aspect figured out," Jaxon says. His grip on my hips tightens just slightly, and it's comforting. We're a team. We’re on the same side. Together, we will conquer whatever complications stand before us. "As for living in this tunnel, I'm not really sure what to say about that one. I meant what I said a few weeks ago. I don't want to be a prisoner here."

"I think we can come to an agreement with Davorian on that one," I say. "We need you close, I think that if you can agree to touch the gate at least a couple of times a week, he'll agree to whatever you want. When the gatekeeper is found in the DarkVerse, we need to give them some kind of signal that we are finally ready on this side. I'll argue your case for you. You don't have to live here full-time. Not if you don't want to."

Jaxon shakes his head and looks off to the side. "Where I've lived has never been something I had control over. My mother…" He closes his eyes and shakes his head again. "There might be angels and demons and other worlds wrapped up in all of this, but I still see my mother as the biggest complication in all of this."

I reach a hand up and rest it against the side of his neck. I brush my thumb over his lips. I made a promise to him once, that I could protect him from her. I intend to keep that promise. "We'll show our faces. Evaluate the situation. I know we can come up with some kind of story. I will get you out from under her thumb, Jaxon. I swear it. Things just might get a little…ugly."

From the look on his face, I can tell that Jaxon isn't so convinced.

"At the rate you're going, I think you can safely go back into the city in a few days," I move on. "We will play our part. We will act out the story we've already established. I will handle things from there. Do you trust me with this? Do you want to break ties?"

Jaxon reaches up and wraps his fingers around my wrist. I try to read what he's thinking from his eyes. But I don't know if even he knows what he feels about this. He knows his mother is not a good person. He's had to do terrible things because of her. His ex-girlfriend almost got killed once because of his family, because of her.

But she is his mother. This is his family. Is completely cutting ties what he really wants?

"I don't want to keep doing her bidding for the rest of my life," he confesses. "But when it comes to the rest…"

He doesn't know.

So I just nod, trying to reassure him. Whatever he wants, whatever he needs, I'm here for him. Somehow, I will make it happen. "We will cross all the bridges when we get to them. For now, we will stick to this plan. Maybe you should give your mom a call today. Tell her that we will be back in a few days. I know that she's anxious to see you."

"She's going to give you hell," Jaxon says as he raises one eyebrow. "If you really said to her what you said you did, well… You've now given her multiple days to plot her next move."

I shrug one shoulder. "I'm not afraid of Vivian Gray."

Jaxon chuckles and shakes his head. "I never stood a chance with you. You are exactly my kind of kryptonite, Serena."

With a smile, I lean forward, bracing both of my hands on his chest. Gently, I kiss his lips.

This kiss is different. It isn't desperate like the one we shared earlier. This one is…an understanding. It's the physical expression of the understanding that we have when it comes to one another. It's a promise that we will always be there for each other. No matter the dark roads we might have to go down, no matter the blood that might stain our hands because of it.

Jaxon's hands rest on either side of my face. They're the perfect, calm temperature. This is just him, a human, and just me, equally as human. "Glad we got all that figured out. You and I make a pretty decent team."

I smile and brush my nose against his. "Yeah, we do."

I slide off his lap, and we finish our sad excuse for a meal. When we’ve both eaten our fill, we clean it up together. And then I take his hand and lead him back to my bedroom. I don't close the door. As he said, we need to be very, very careful. We can't push this too far. So, I guess this is my escape route. It's lame. Literally just an open door.

But I watched the look in his eyes. I checked the temperature of his skin. But for now, this is just Jaxon, and there is no ultralight lingering just underneath his skin in this moment.

Relief washes through me for the first time in what feels like so long. Things are going to be okay. They’re going to work out. And it leaves me feeling exhausted.

I feel like I could sleep for an entire week.

So I pull Jaxon to the bed with me. I scoot over to the far side, my back against the wall. Cautiously, Jaxon lays on the bed with me, facing me.

I reach up and interlace my fingers with his. I just stare at them for a moment. There are multiple scars on his hand. Little white ones, angrier red ones. Each of them has a story. But I am not afraid of a single one of them.

My eyes rise to meet Jaxon's. He’s staring at me, studying my face, my hair, the slope of my shoulders. There's a serious look in his eyes.

"You're so beautiful," he says softly.

I don't expect it, but emotion constricts my throat. I shift into a monster with smoke and pinchers and multiple legs. Anyone from this verse that has seen me in my darkling form would never call me beautiful.

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