Page 12 of Born Chaos

I let out a breath between my lips, trying to push it all out.

No. I can’t. I won’t. Not right now. Not tonight.

I’m too raw.

So, not knowing where else in the world to go, I climb into that black bed, pull the covers up around my shoulders, and close my eyes, pretending once again that I am nothing at all.

If I’m nothing, nothing can hurt me.

CHAPTERFOUR

It’sthe smell of bacon that pulls me from some of the best sleep I’ve ever had. Bacon could wake the dead and cure all the world’s problems.

I roll over, my eyes opening to stare up at the black ceiling. For a second, I can’t remember where I am.

Oh. Right.

I roll toward the door, searching the empty space. The door is cracked just slightly.

“Food is ready if you’re hungry.” Roman speaks from the kitchen, but he doesn’t raise his voice any more than if we were in the same room together. Vampiric hearing means he could hear the change in my breathing the moment I woke up.

I lay there for a second, unsure of what to do or what to expect. Last night was a shitshow, and nothing was resolved whatsoever. But I’m no coward, so I crawl out of Roman’s bed and with bare feet, pad out into the living area.

Roman is standing in the kitchen, his back turned to me. He’s still wearing the same clothes he wore last night. His hair is as wild as ever. The set of his shoulders is tight, but it’s different than it was last night.

He turns, holding two plates containing bacon, eggs, and a stack of pancakes. He sets them both on the small glass table pushed against one wall. Biting my lower lip and awkwardly shifting my weight from one foot to the other, I step forward and take a seat across from him.

“Sorry I just barged in last night,” I say as I take a fork and poke at my food. “I just… couldn’t make myself go home, and I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

“It’s fine,” he says without looking up at me. He takes the bottle of syrup and drowns his stack of pancakes.

“Does Sebastian know I’m here?” I ask the question that’s burning my tongue the most.

“No,” Roman answers simply. He cuts a bite off and stuffs it in his mouth. He chews for a moment, swallows, and then continues. “We had our meeting last night. I got home about three and found you. After that shit last night, I figured Sebastian didn’t deserve to know where you were. I assume you got rid of your phone, since he didn’t storm in here and slit my throat?”

I nod. I bite into a strip of bacon, chewing slowly, trying to wrap my brain around everything that’s different now.

“Your engagement announcement went live this morning,” Roman says, his voice thick, his tone low. “Just thought you might want a heads up about that. It’s kind of catching fire. Sebastian was already a big deal to the city, the first private owner of a hospital. The news is having a field day over the fact that you’re a doctor too. They’re calling you two the new power couple of Chicago.”

Shit. I brace my elbows on the table and scrape my fingers back into my hair, my face turning down to the table.

“How does shit get so messy so fast?” I say out loud.

I hear Roman sit back in his chair, hear him fold his arms over his chest, but he doesn’t say anything.

I feel like dying. I feel like the whole world is shifting, ending, and the ground beneath my feet is too slippery to know which direction to run.

I just know everything hurts right now.

“I know I don’t actually know you, Juliet,” Roman says, his voice low and quiet. “But I think I know you enough to know you’re never going to want to fit into anyone’s mold of the kept housewife. You were born in chaos. Some people need a little chaos to live. Don’t settle for someone else’s version of a perfect life.”

I look back up slowly. But I find Roman looking at his plate, wolfing another huge bite down. And I realize that he hasn’t looked me in the eye the entire time I’ve been awake.

It should be there in me somewhere, the sarcasm, the biting, bitter words I always have at the ready. I’ve always thought Roman was a prick, and I want to call him out on it right now.

But emotions burn the backs of my eyes and swell my throat closed.

So, for maybe the first time ever, I don’t say anything in response. I close my mouth, looking down at my own plate.

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