Page 29 of Born Chaos

Oh, if only she knew. If only she knew how little Sebastian really could handle it.

But he doesn’t say a damn word. He takes his glass, raising it in Elena’s direction, and takes a sip. With all the eyes in the room on me, I know I have to do something. So I grab my own glass and down half of it in one pull.

“To the happy couple,” Sigrid says. She stands next, raising her glass of wine. “You have always been one of the most intense people I’ve ever known, Dr. Vincent. And my dear Juliet. It is not often that I come to love people so easily, but I loved you from the first time we met. I pray that you both find every happiness in this world.”

Once more, glasses are raised.

I want to throw up. I want to scream. I want to shatter every bit of tableware here.

But I can’t. I won’t ruin Elena’s party. She’s worked too hard on this. This was always going to mean more to her than it means to me.

Warren gives a brief speech. And I realize I miss him. The timid man who marked me with my roses.

Dr. Holmes speaks next. He’s all sappy, gushing on about love. The man is getting sentimental in his old age, just weeks away from retirement.

And then Mason stands.

My heart jumps just a bit as his eyes meet mine. And for just a second, I remember what it was like when he and I were together.

It was so physical. The attraction between us was immediate. Being with Mason was about rebellion and animal attraction.

But he never tried to control me. He never tried to tell me what I could and couldn’t do.

“I’ve always thought Sebastian Vincent was a bit of a hothead,” Mason begins, which brings laughs from the crowd. He smiles, and I kind of forgot what an incredible smile he has. It’s just so damn light and easy. “He’s the best at what he does, and the man knows it.”

Next to me, I see Sebastian’s hand curl into a fist on the tabletop.

“But it was pretty obvious, from the minute he met her, that he was falling for Juliet,” Mason continues, his tone sobering. “And who could blame him? I think Juliet puts a spell on everyone who ever meets her. I hope you two can build the kind of life you both deserve.”

And I feel myself sinking. I feel broken.

Because just a few weeks ago, I was happy. We were so damn happy.

Just a short while ago, I would have argued to the end of time that Sebastian and I were the perfect fit. Sebastian has always understood me in a way no one else has. I understood the darkness his past forced him into.

But maybe two broken people do not equal a healthy relationship.

My hands are shaking as I take another sip from my glass, the guests in the room clapping as Mason takes his seat.

“I hope you’re hungry,” Elena says with a smile. And right on cue, the servers once more return with carts filled with food.

It looks delicious. It smells divine.

But looking down at it, all I want to do is throw up.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” I say, not looking at anyone in particular. Without waiting for a response, I get up from my seat and cross to the door. I stagger down the hall without actually looking for what direction I need to go. Miraculously, I do indeed find a bathroom at the end of the hallway.

“Hello?” I call out as I walk in, listening for anyone in the three stalls. But it’s silent and I let out a shuttering breath.

My eyes rise to meet my own reflection in the mirror.

I’m white as a ghost. I mean, I never have much color. But I look nearly opaque. My eyes look haunted. I swear, my cheeks even look gaunter.

One single sob erupts from my throat. I clamp my hand over my mouth, swearing no more will follow it.

But as I look into the mirror, my reflection haunts me.

Who the hell am I?

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