Page 42 of Born Chaos

Cold ice fills my veins as I look at the video playing on the screen.

I watch as Sebastian opens the door. Determined, angry, he strides right inside. There’s pure, unfiltered rage on his face. His hands are curled into fists. He looks half-crazed.

He goes straight for my computer first. He drops down into the chair, and within five seconds, he has it unlocked. How he got my password, I don’t know. Roman fast-forwards through the next twenty minutes as Sebastian combs through my computer. He next stands up and goes into my bedroom. The camera view changes and I watch as Sebastian proceeds to pull open every nightstand drawer. He dumps them each out onto the bed, combing through everything carefully.

My heart thuds hard in my chest. Cold prickles on my hands.

Sebastian next goes to my bathroom. He gets more frantic in his movements, clawing his way through all the drawers in there. He goes through everything. Every makeup bag and every folded towel. He tosses my entire closet, going through every pocket.

His breathing gets harder, and his eyes are swirling with embers.

I realize my hands are shaking. It’s hard to hold the phone steady enough to continue watching.

He goes back out into the living room, and now he doesn’t hold back. He tosses the entire place. A roar rips from his throat as he yanks every plate from the cupboard. I see his fangs extend as he literally tips the fridge over. And a demonic cry makes the speakers reverberate as he flips my desk, sending my computer crashing across the floor before it shatters when it hits the far wall.

“Where are you, Juliet?” he huffs as he looks around at all the destruction he’s caused. He stands there breathing so hard I can see his shoulders rising and falling. It’s as if he thinks I’ll magically materialize, or the right clue will suddenly be written on the walls.

But finally, he turns and stalks back to the door. He walks out and slams the door closed so hard, I hear everything in the apartment rattle.

And then it’s silent. My ransacked apartment lies still, broken, chaotic.

“Well, shit,” I say as something bites at the back of my eyes. I quickly wipe at them, even though no tears have fallen. But I know I can’t hide how red they have to be when I look up at Roman.

He stares at me with sympathy and hesitance. I’m just waiting for him to tell me what he thinks I should do. If this were Elena, she’d be barking at me that I couldn’t ever talk to him again. She’d be telling me we needed to rip him to pieces or something. She’d have all the ideas, and she’d fight me until I gave in to whatever she deemed best.

“I thought you should know,” is all Roman says. “I know you’re planning to go talk to him tomorrow. So, I thought you should know.”

I blink as I look away, pushing two tears out onto my cheek.

It just keeps getting worse. So much worse.

“Was he really like this all along?” I don’t realize at first that I’ve said the words out loud. “Or did we do this to each other?”

“You didn’t make him do this, Juliet,” Roman counters, his gaze hardening as he shakes his head.

“People always say love makes you do crazy things,” I say hoarsely as I look back at him. “I guess no one ever said those crazy things would only be good things.”

He doesn’t say anything immediately. I can tell he’s thinking that over, considering. And I appreciate that. He’s not just trying to fire advice at me. He’s not just trying to comfort and reassure me.

“Do you remember the things Archer said before we killed him?” I ask. My voice sounds strange. It’s amazing how emotions can affect us physically. I hold Roman’s blue eyes, and it’s obvious he remembers. “I thought there was no way in hell his ability to predict the future could be for real. But…” A streak of tears suddenly pushes its way out, racing down my face. I squeeze my eyes closed, pressing my lips into a thin line to hold back the sob or scream that is just seconds behind them.

And it shocks the hell out of me when Roman leans forward and wraps his arms around me.

There’s nothing conniving about it. Nothing vindictive. Nothing judgmental.

“He told me my lies would be my downfall,” I say quietly against his shoulder. “But some things you just can’t tell some people. I was born cursed, and it’s going to screw up my entire life. And it’s never going to end, because somehow, I can’t die.”

Grief rips through me like I’ve been slashed across the gut. A sob finally gasps through me, and the tears don’t stop coming. My entire body trembles, and I just want to fall apart and be absorbed into the fiery inferno in the center of the earth.

Roman doesn’t say anything. He’s not the best with words. But he holds me tighter. And it feels so damn nice.

When my world fell apart, the last person I expected to be there for me was Roman. The last person I ever expected to feel safest with was the man I once thought was a complete asshole who scared the hell out of me.

But as I sob, as I let it finally rage through me, he just holds on to me, holding me together like a friend would.

I don’t know how long we sit like that. My body should start feeling stiff and a little numb. But I’m not human anymore. And I’m pretty sure this vampire body could sit like this for days before thirst would finally make me move.

But it’s Roman’s buzzing cell phone that breaks the moment.

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