Page 6 of Born Free

My limbs feel stiff and uncoordinated as I gather every bit of strength I have to take a step away from him. And once the second is managed, I pick up my speed.

I drop the torn dress onto the floor of my closet and peel off my sticky bra. I rummage through my drawers until I find an oversized t-shirt. My hands feel like they should be shaking when I walk back through my closet and into the bedroom, but these vampire instincts of mine keep them still.

My heart is clear up in my throat when I walk out into the living room once more, and I look at him once again.

Roman stands in the middle of the room, unmoved from where I left him. I take him in from head to toe. His pants are dirty, and his shoes are scuffed. His shirt and tuxedo jacket are gone, ripped to shreds after he was staked, though thankfully not in the heart. He’s dirtied. There’s blood all over his back. The claw marks that were on his face are fully healed now, but his hair, which is always untamed, is more wild than usual.

I realize that is my fault.

“I think we’re supposed to talk about what happened, you know, before an actual Royal tried to hand you a crown,” I say, feeling awkward and nervous.

“Things might get messy if we do,” Roman says. His eyes slowly drop down the length of me. And I realize it’s not the first time they’ve done that. I was just completely ignorant of what it meant until tonight.

“Oh, it’s definitely going to get messy,” I say, shaking my head. Once again, my hands rise to tangle into my hair. The motion causes my t-shirt to rise, and I know my black underwear must be showing, but I’m so beyond caring about something so small. “I feel like a damn mess, Roman. I spent eight weeks living in a fantasy of ignoring reality and responsibility. And then I truly thought I’d found my other half when Sebastian and I connected. And that exploded in all our faces. Roman, you…” I shake my head, and I feel at a complete loss for words. My heart is beating so hard, so forceful as I stare into those blue eyes. “Roman. You.”

Those two words are entire statements on their own. I don’t know what they mean. I don’t know where things go from here. But I know those two words are filling up my entire being right now.

He stares at me, and I can see the turmoil in his eyes. He’s staring at me so intensely. He shakes his head. “I’ve never met anyone,anyone, who makes me feel as complicated as you do, Juliet. One minute I’m frustrated and annoyed and pretty sure life will move on when you get yourself killed. And then the next, I think I’m going to suffocate when you’re just a few blocks away. And I miss that smart mouth and your complete insanity.” He’s breathing hard, his bare chest rising and falling rapidly. “You’re making me feel absolutely crazy, Juliet.”

Something bites the back of my eyes, but I swear on my mother’s lost ashes I won’t let myself cry. Because no words have ever made me feel so perfect and seen.

“You surprised the hell out of me,” I admit. “I thought I hated you and that you were a terrifying asshole. And then you were the only person I could be totally honest with. And suddenly I realized you are my best friend. And now…” It’s my turn to shake my head. This night has been so damn confusing.

“I’m not asking anything from you,” Roman says, his voice soft and breathy. We stare at each other, each at a loss for words. Each unsure of what happens next. “But I know over the last two months, you’ve somehow become the most important thing to me in this whole damn world.”

I feel like I’m dying and being reborn all at the same time. I’m filling and shattering all at once. “I feel like I’ve messed up too many relationships. There’s no way I deserve a third chance.”

Roman steps forward, and even though there are only six inches between us, he doesn’t touch me. He just stares into my eyes. “If it takes me the rest of my immortal life, someday I’m going to make you see yourself the way you really are. You deserve anything you want, Juliet. Forget what anyone might think of you. Quit denying yourself the happiness you’ve worked so damn hard for.”

I can hardly catch my breath. I blink twice, feeling completely overwhelmed and scared. My insides feel like an earthquake. “Roman, I… I don’t know if I’m ready for another relationship. My heart’s been beaten and bruised too many times since I came to Chicago.”

I see something sinking in Roman’s eyes. I can feel the pain of rejection radiating off of his very skin.

I raise a hand and cup his cheek. And the connection… Instantly, I’m back on that table, Roman’s weight atop me, his lips on my lips. And there’s a peace that fills me. “I don’t know if I’m ready for a definition. But please don’t leave me, Roman. I can’t catch my breath when we’re apart.”

His large, rough hand comes to the side of my neck. His thumb brushes over my lips. And where once I thought Roman was evil and cruel, I see tenderness. I see vulnerability. I see the person I trust more than any other person on this planet.

“Never,” he promises.

I rise onto the balls of my feet, and everything in the world feels as if it falls into its rightful place when our lips meet.

The kiss is gentle, tender, so opposite to our frantic, chaotic first. This one tastes like security and the future. This one feels like home.

Roman touches his forehead to mine, both of our eyes closing. It feels like a prayer. Both of us breathing in deeply, sharing the same air. There is no definition, because in reality, neither of us is ready. But I feel it in my bones, that Roman and I are on the same path. We’re side by side, equal for equal. And in his touch, in the energy that’s coming from his very being, I feel he is on the exact same page.

My entire universe is shifting, evolving to something new every few seconds.

“We need to fill in the others,” I say. Nothing in me wants to break this moment. But I still feel an urgency in my gut, one that says the world is about to change, rapidly, once again. “Tonight.”

Roman nods, standing straight. “We’re going to be followed. I can guarantee we’ll be watched. So, it needs to be somewhere neutral but as private as we can get.”

I nod. “I’m sure Elena will know of somewhere. I’ll text the council, and Jon.”

I retrieve my phone from where I dropped my bag.Big shit going down. We need to meet. Not the Nocturne, not anyone’s house. Know somewhere private?

Sixty seconds later, an address comes through, with a time to meet in thirty minutes.

“Okay, obviously I need a shower,” I say, holding my hands out. They’re covered in blood. “Give me five minutes, and then we can go to your place?”

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