Page 46 of The Relationship Mechanic

More.That word terrified Jessica almost as much as another four-letter word. Every time someone said they wanted more, she ended up with less. It was the reason why she kept things from getting too deep. Usually, it wasn’t a problem. Others knew not to expect love and rainbows and enjoyed their time. Occasionally, when someone would express this same desire, Jessica could easily shut it down and move on. Now, though, was different. The fear was greater, as was her desire to run the other way.

Before she could speak, Vini kept talking. “And I know you won’t give me that.”

“Vini...” Jessica couldn’t counter that. Vini wasn’t wrong about any of this. “You’re right. I can’t give you what you’re asking. I can’t give you more than I have.”

Vini looked up at her then, and her dark brown eyes were so enigmatic that there was no chance of Jessica turning away. “I didn’t say you can’t. I said you won’t.”

Jessica didn’t understand the difference and said as much.Can’t. Won’t.They were different sides of the same coin, and it was clear that Jessica’s biggest fear had come true. She couldn’t give Vini what she was looking for.

“I’m sorry, Vini.” She couldn’t help repeating herself, not that it would do any good. She could see the determination in Vini’s face, and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt her again. “I didn’t mean for any of this to end this way.”

“Me neither,” Vini replied. She put her hands on her hips and looked down. Jessica willed her to look up again, but when Vini didn’t, she knew the conversation was over.

Jessica took a step back, everything in her screaming to stop and try again, but she couldn’t. She liked Vini and respected her too damn much to hurt her again. What Vini wanted was important, and if Jessica couldn’t give it to her, she knew she needed to step away and let her be with someone who could. The idea of Vini falling into someone else’s arms made her stomach roll, but she fought it down in favor of getting out as soon as possible.

“Bye, Vini.” Pain lanced through Jessica as soon as the words left her mouth, but she swallowed it back in favor of leaving with the last bit of grace she had.

She wouldn’t remember the walk back to her car or the slow drive back to Grace’s house or ignoring Grace and Ava who were seated on the couch talking softly. Jessica walked in a daze, not stopping until she was back in the guest room, door shut behind her. She looked around, not sure how she had gotten there. Jessica walked to her bed, pushed the suitcase over to make space and lay down. She stayed there even as the room grew darker and her stomach growled with hunger until sleep pulled her under.

Twenty-Four

Vini stared at the door, wondering how it was possible to feel the need to run after someone and to stay at the same time. She felt the desire so strongly it almost split her in two. The look on Jessica’s face when Vini had said they shouldn’t see one another anymore had been too much for her, and she’d had to look away before she broke and took it all back.

Her conversation with Dani and Ava had been eye-opening in ways she hadn’t anticipated. She hadn’t realized just how much she needed to talk to someone about her feelings until they came pouring out of her like word vomit until she felt wrung-dry and exhausted. It had been worth it to get her feelings out and get some advice like she had always wanted but not been able to for the past few weeks. There were so many apologies that she never wanted to hear the wordsorryagain for a long time.

The end result, however, was the realization that she couldn’t do this anymore. She couldn’t keep seeing Jessica knowing that there were only a couple days left. She had developed feelings, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to let her go if Vini continued to have her close. Vini couldn’t keep going and pretend like she was going to be okay the day that Jessica drove away and out of her life. Already she was mourning the loss as if her partner was going off to war. When even Dani agreed that nipping it in the bud was the right thing to do, she knew she couldn’t deny it anymore. Still, doing so had left her so emotionally drained that she quickly let Aiden know she would not be in the shop tomorrow and for him to take the day off.

Not wanting to stay in her room and wallow, Vini marched to the bathroom intent on standing under a hot stream of water until she couldn’t feel anything. It partially worked until Dani pounded on the door and told her to not drain the water heater. She almost did it anyway, just to be spiteful, but she turned it off instead. She couldn’t deal with anymore drama.

“Oh, hey, Dad.” Vini paused before continuing into the kitchen. Her dad was at the table, nose buried in the paper like usual. He looked over his reading glasses before smiling. “Hey, kiddo. What are you up to? I thought you would be out tonight.”

Vini frowned in confusion until she remembered having planned to take Jessica to the Christmas tree farm that was a couple towns over. The reminder of that nearly had her doubling over, but she kept her composure and gave him a brittle smile.

“Uh, yeah. A change in plans. I think it’s just you and me tonight.”

He nodded before turning his attention back to the paper. Vini sighed softly before walking over to the pantry and pulling it open. She didn’t really have an appetite for anything, but she pulled out a can of soup and figured she could microwave it quickly before her stomach decided to rebel on her.

“You all right there, Vin? You’re quieter than usual.”

Vini nodded as she went through the motions of heating up her soup. “Yeah, I’m fine, Dad. Just tired, I guess. It’s been a long day.”

“Right,” he replied, not sounding like he believed her story. “Just tired from work, huh? So you’re telling me that the long look on that face of yours doesn’t have anything to do with the woman you’ve been seeing?”

Jesus, does everyone know?Vini was quickly realizing that the only reason Ava hadn’t known what was going on was more because she didn’t want to see it and less because Vini was good at being sneaky. “What are you talking about?”

“I know you didn’t think you was being slick.” Vini sighed and turned to look at him. He had dropped the paper but was still looking at her over his glasses. “Really?”

“I wasn’t trying to be slick, Dad. I just wasn’t trying to put my business all out there in front of everyone,” Vini replied.

He nodded. “I got that. It’s why I kept my mouth shut. But don’t you think it’s about time to bring her over here so I can meet the poor woman? No need to hide her away, though I know your sister is a bit...”

“Overprotective? Controlling? Unable to mind her damn business?”

He laughed. “All of the above, silly girl.”

She chuckled until she remembered that the point was moot now. She and Jessica were over. There was no need to introduce or reintroduce her to the family. “Either way, it doesn’t matter. She and I aren’t... She’s leaving, so we decided...” Finishing her sentence was hard. It made the whole thing real to say it out loud. Vini swallowed hard before turning back to the stove and continuing to cook. It wasn’t until the water started to boil that she spoke again.

“You met her already.” When her dad didn’t respond, she turned to look at him. “The woman I was seeing. You met her during Thanksgiving.”

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