Page 34 of Kodiak

“I will on Monday,” I reply. “Already have a note on my calendar.”

“Fucking technology,” he grumbles. “When you make that appointment, let me know.”

“You planning on tagging along?” I ask, thinking maybe, just maybe there’s a chance that he wants to be included in everything. Most men that live his lifestyle are standoffish when it comes to bringing new life into the world. I cross my fingers that this brings us closer together instead of tearing us apart.

“Let me make something perfectly clear,” he states, leaning in closer to me. I can feel his breath mingling with mine. “I may be a biker, it will always be in my blood, but when it comes to mine, I will fight tooth and nail to keep them with me. Does that clear things up for you?”

“Sorta,” I answer slowly.

“What are you having issues with here, Luna? Get out of your head and spit the words out.”

“Okay,” I drawl before asking, “does that mean you’ll only be here for our baby, or am I included in that, too?”

“Do you love me, Luna?” His question catches me off guard.

“Do I… do I what?” I ask, canting my head to the side to see if he’s serious or not. “I don’t know you enough to say that I do.”

“You just made my point for me, Moon.”

“What point? How the hell did I do that, Marcum? I’m so damn confused right now,” I state, burying my head between my hands.

“Listen. I care about you; I want the best for you no matter what. Are you with me so far?”

“Y-yeah,” I stumble out.

“Love may or may not happen for us. Only time can tell that. But I have mad respect for you, you mean something to me. And the fact that you’re going to be the mother of my child, that means you will forever be by my side no matter what happens between the two of us. I can’t predict the future, but what I can say with one hundred percent accuracy, is that wherever you and my baby are, is where I’ll be.”

“Okay,” I mumble.

While I understand what he’s telling me, there’s a tiny part that’s ticked off. I mean, we might not end up being a true couple, but I’m not stupid enough to think he’ll remain single the rest of his life. Do I want another woman aroundmychild? I tamp down my rising irritation, which really has no place here at all.I already know a lot can happen before a safe, healthy birth occurs. While I don’t want to borrow trouble, I’m a bit pragmatic about things, especially given all the internet searches I do for my writing.

“Should we talk about our expectations where it comes to other people coming into our lives? I don’t know if everything I’ve read on the internet is accurate or not, I haven’t lived in a clubhouse setting before, so you may have to clue me in on some things,” I ask.

“Other people? You mean like you dating and shit?” He looks fit to be tied right now and I’m getting concerned with each second that passes because his face has gone taut and I’ve never seen that shade of red it’s turning on anyone before.

“Um… Marcum? Should I be worrying that you’re going to have a heart attack here?”

“No, what you should be worrying about is me turning you over my knee and blistering your ass! No other men, period, end of motherfucking story.”

“Does that go for women when it comes to you as well?” I ask, unintentionally waving the flag in front of the bull.

“I don’t date!” he roars.

“Yes you do,” I counter. “What do you call what we’ve been doing?”

“Not dating. We’ve been getting to know each other. Besides that, you’re the exception to the rule, Luna.”

“Sure,” I sass, crossing my arms across my chest. “And so is any bimbo Barbie that catches your eye.”

“Bimbo Barbies?” he asks, coming across as being amused by my comparison to the women I’ve seen prancing around in the backyard today.

“Yeah, you know the half-dressed girls you seem attracted to?”

“The club bitches? Luna, you’re joking right? Did you see me entertaining them in any way while you were judging them?”

“I don’t judge,” I snap. I wasn’t, I swear. But I won’t lie to myself and not admit that the green-eyed monster reared its ugly head. I’m not as sexy or as confident with my body as they are. It caused those insecurities from the past to come back and all but slap me in the face. I was a chunky kid compared to my classmates. I didn’t start slimming down until my junior year of high school and by then, I was a pariah.

“You kinda did when you placed them in a certain category, Luna. You don’t know a thing about them. You have no idea what kind of lives they’ve led, that they feel as if they need to be here so we can provide for them and protect them.”

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