Page 37 of Kodiak

Me: See you then. And Luna, we’re gonna talk afterward.

Luna: Maybe.

Me: No. Not maybe. We will be talking. We have a baby to think about.

Luna: ...

Then I watch as the bubbles disappear before she begins again.

Luna: If you say so.

This time, I’m the one with a short response.

Me: I do.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

LUNA

“That insufferable, pigheaded dickhead!”I exclaim after rereading our texts. “He’s acting like we’re in an actual relationship or something.”

Demi pokes her head up from the instructions she’s been reading and says, “Well, ya kind of are since he’s your baby daddy, Luna.”

“Quit calling him that!”

Right now, every little thing is irritating me, including my best friend. She decided that now was as good a time as any to convert my chaotic office into a well-organized area. But, every time I approach what happened with her and Xavier? She shuts up. Clams up tighter than a damn oyster creating a fucking pearl. However, she’s sure sticking her two cents into what’s going on with me and Marcum and it’s driving me fucking crazy.

“Well, he is, bestie,” she sing songs. “Hey, do you think we can move your desk over there?” she asks, pointing to the oppositewall. “This side here will allow me to have all the bookshelves together. Then, I’ll see what I can use for the closet to organize the swag. We’ll probably need different containers though.”

She taps her chin with her index finger as she stares at me. “Yeah, we can move it. I think having more natural light will help me anyhow.”

“True. Plus, I’m going to get two more bookshelves to put on either side of the window for your author pretties you get at signings. Oh! And I found this really neat thing when I was scrolling on the book of faces that we can hang your lanyards on!”

“I only have a few of them, Demi,” I remind her. It’s not like I’ve signed at more than a handful of events. I didn’t start attending them until I had five books published.

“You’ll have more,” she blithely replies. “I’m going to write the dates on the back of them so you can see how your career progresses! And what do you think about me printing off your signing pictures and making collages of them? I’ve got my Cricut and can do some fancy shit.”

“Whatever you think would look good is fine with me. Now, I’m gonna dive back into this manuscript. Unless the house is burning down around our heads, I have to focus, okay?”

“Last thing, then I’ll shut up, I promise. You need to display at leastonecopy of each of your books on the pretties bookshelf, Luna. I want you to be able to see what you’ve already accomplished on those days when it’s hard, you know?”

“I like that idea, Demi, thanks for thinking of doing that,” I reply. “Thankfully, I haven’t really had any days where writer’s block tries to pull me down, but I’ve heard it eventually happensto everyone. Having something to look at like that, plus the displayed lanyards, will help a lot, I know it will.”

I’m actually ahead of the game right now. I have several preorders up and the books have already been uploaded, which is allowing me the freedom to keep moving forward without the added stress of deadlines. Several author friends suggested doing it like that so I wasn’t always feeling under the gun and I have to admit, it’s helped me to start having a better work-life balance. That’s something I need to keep in mind as my pregnancy progresses, because I know once the baby arrives, my time will be even further constrained.

Sighing, I open up the document to check out my upcoming events. I only have one that’s a bit iffy because it’s close to what I’ve projected as my due date according to the wheel I found online and did the math with, but until I have confirmation from the doctor, I won’t reach out to the organizer. Hopefully, if I have to pull, I can do it soon enough so another author can purchase my table so I don’t lose the fee I paid. Well, except for the nominal deposit, that is, because those are non-refundable.

“Your appointment is tomorrow, how are you feeling about seeing Marcum?” Demi casually asks, keeping her eye on her task. I know I asked for her to give me some quiet time to dig into my work, but this is a topic I’ve been ruminating over and could use her as an outlet to get my feelings out there so I’m not upset she broke her word when she said earlier that it’d be the last thing she said.

“Nervous. Excited. Ready to rearrange his face,” I honestly answer.

“All of the above, huh?” She snickers. “I can still come with you, Luna. I know you want to do this yourself, but you don’t have to. I’m there for you.”

“I know, Demi. But I have a feeling that Marcum and I are going to come to blows and I don’t think it’s fair to back him into a corner. I can do this.” I’m not sure if I’m trying to convince her of that or myself. I don’t honestly think he’d ever hit me, or any woman for that matter. He may be a biker, but he doesn’t strike me as one who lays hands on anyone who is truly physically weaker than he is. Now, verbally? He slayed me and I expect he’ll do it again as this pregnancy progresses. It’s not something I look forward to whatsoever.

“Have you thought about what you want to say to him?” she probes, she’s been worried about me and I get it. I’ve been moping around the house, more withdrawn than what’s typical for me. But I’ve had a lot on my mind that I needed to sort through.

“Not exactly. I mean, I’m still upset about what he said, of course, but then seeing those women splayed across him like they were keeps popping into my mind as well.”

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