Page 39 of Kodiak

“Marcum. How are you?” she asks, her tone slightly melancholy.

“Feeling like a jackass,” I answer her.

“Is that so? Sorry you’re having that issue.”

“I don’t like the way we left things between us. I’m unsettled,” I admit, pulling her into my arms once she’s got both feet on the ground. “I didn’t mean a fucking thing I said, Moon.”

“Then why did you say those things, Marcum?” I feel droplets of her tears hit the material of my shirt and it has my heart clenching in my chest.

We may not know each other as well as we should considering where we’re at right this very second, but the thought that I may have broken something inside this strong, incredible woman has my gut twisting. I’m still not willing to examine how I feel too closely; I’ve never believed in all that happily-ever-after bullshit, nor the cheesiness of love at first sight. But I know I feelsomethingfor her that’s more than just a fuck.

“I’m not used to being called out for shit, and it instigated my confrontation mode.”

“You sound like a video game when you say it that way,” she teases, using the sleeve of my shirt to clean her cheeks. I’m slightly encouraged when I hear her giggle, then I picture the countless gaming systems in our clubroom and can’t help the chuckle that erupts from my gut.

“That sounds like a good assessment because I felt like a robot whose voice was being overridden when I spouted that bullshit. Can you ever forgive me for acting before thinking?”

“We can work on it,” she tells me. “Because sometimes my mouth says things before my brain’s fully engaged as well.”

“That’s a start,” I mumble. “I know we’re going to be walking in there with some hurt feelings, but I don’t want either of us to have a chip on our shoulder, this is a special time for the both of us.”

“I need to know something before we go inside,” she hesitantly states.

“What’s that, my moon?”

“Is this forgiveness only wanted for the baby’s sake, or do you want something to grow between us?”

“I’d like for there to be more between us, if I’m being one-hundred percent honest with you. I know we have some hurdles we need to jump over before that can happen, which is why I was hoping we could sit down and share a meal after this,” I say, waving my hand at the building in front of us.

“I could sit down with you,” she conveys. “We still have a lot of air to clear out, but like you, I’d like to go into this appointment without wanting to claw your eyes out.”

“My eyes and I appreciate that,” I joke. “We have about ten minutes before you’re scheduled to sign in, are you ready to head that way?”

“Yeah,” she tells me, biting her lower lip. She looks so damn sexy when she does that and I have to rearrange myself in my denim before taking a step. It’s painful to walk with a hardon.

“Today, we’ll be taking measurements and listening to the heartbeat,” Dr. Limons says as she types some of the basic information Luna gave her in regards to her health history. “Lay back on the table and lift your shirt underneath your breasts and unbutton your jeans please.”

I place my hand on Luna’s lower back as she lies back, making sure she doesn’t strain anything. All of this has protective instincts pushing to the forefront. Not that I’m a completely heartless bastard but knowing that she’s growing a part of the two of us, one that shouldn’t even exist given the fact that she has an implant and I used a rubber, is taking my feelings to a higher level.

I’ll examine that later. When I’m alone except for a bottle of top shelf whiskey. Right now, Luna is the priority. Once she’s settled as comfortably as possible, I watch the doctor squeeze some lube out of a tube onto her lower belly, then she grabs a flashlight sized object, presses a button on the side and then runs it through the goop that’s smeared on Luna’s stomach. Occasionally, she presses in a bit and I see Luna wince, which has me biting my tongue to keep from saying something that’ll get me thrown out.

Well, they couldtryto kick my ass out,my mind whispers.

A sudden whooshing sound brings me out of my thoughts to focus back in on what’s happening right in front of me.

“That’s your baby’s heartbeat,” the doctor says, glancing at Luna. “Strong and healthy. The next visit, we’ll do an ultrasound, but right now, with your pregnancy being so new we’d have to do a vaginal one, and I try to avoid those for my patients whenever possible.”

“Why?” I bark out.

The doctor looks at me and replies, “Because it’s not all that comfortable for the mother, to be completely frank. It’s minimally invasive, but in reality, it still causes discomfort and there’s plenty of that during a pregnancy with morning sickness and the like.”

I’m glad to hear her say that. While I have no clue what a vaginal ultrasound entails, it sounds barbaric and not pleasurable at all. Since I know Luna is going to have to deal with giving birth down the line, whatever keeps her from being uncomfortable right now is fine by me.

“Now I’m going to take a tape measure and get your measurements,” Dr. Limon informs us. During all of this, Luna grabbed my hand and I laced my fingers between hers. If she’s seeking comfort through me, I’m going to accept that. It’s a good sign that we’re on the right track toward forgiveness. And since I’m not experienced with relationships, I’m going to have to follow her lead on this one and hope nothing else stupid leaves my mouth—at least until we’re on better terms.

Once she’s cleaned up and her clothes are resituated, we make our follow up appointment for next month and scuttle out to our vehicles.

“Wanna ride with me and after our meal, I’ll bring you back to your vehicle?” I ask her, my fingers crossed that she says yes because I want to feel her arms wrapped around me.

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