Page 40 of Kodiak

“I’d love to,” she replies, her eyes brightening.

Lowering down, I unclip the latches on my saddle bag and pull out the helmet I bought her yesterday in hopes that she’d agree to take a ride with me.

“I love it, Marcum. Thank you.” I watch as she examines it. Stixx is artistic and has a few supplies at the clubhouse. He airbrushed her name on the back in a cursive script with the tagProperty of Kodiakemblazoned on the back in italics. “Does this mean what I think it means?”

“I wanted a way to show you that I want more than friendship with you. I’m not good with words as last weekend proved. To me, actions speak louder than any words can. I want you to be my old lady, Luna. In all ways. We’re going to have a few upheavals in our relationship as we get to know each other better. I know I’m moving fast here, but that’s the way I’ve always done things. Especially when it’s something I want… desperately. If you accept this, my moon, there’s no going back. This isn’t like a marriage contract where a mere piece of paper can dissolve our commitment to each other. It means that no matter what crossroad we face, we do it together and work our way over it. What do you say? Are you willing to take this leap with me?”

“I want to say yes, Marcum. I really do. But I’m scared to jump in with so much tension still between us. There’s so much I need to personally work through, like my jealousy as an example. What if it becomes too much for you to deal with? My insecurities have insecurities as Demi pointed out to me. I have trust issues from past boyfriends who gave into temptation and cheated on me. And none of the women who they slept with compare to the women you have living in your clubhouse. We both know there’s at least two willing to start shit with me… with us. They don’t want us together.”

“They aren’t a factor in this and I’ve dealt with them,” I vow. “They can’t tear us apart if we don’t let them. I’m telling you right here and right now that I will be faithful to you and I willnotlet my dick rule my life. I’m not a teenage boy, Luna, I’m a man. I’ve pointed that out to you on several different occasions.”

“If I say yes, can we take things slowly? I feel like we’ve done everything at a rapid pace and I’m having a hard time catching up.”

“I’ll give you all the time you need as long as you understand that it won’t change anything. You’re still mine and I’m still yours. From here moving forward, we don’t go days without speaking. If we piss each other off, we deal with it the way adults are meant to… we talk that shit out.”

“I can do that,” she confesses. Her tummy gurgles and she laughs. “Starting now.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

LUNA

The last fourweeks have been glorious. Marcum is either here every evening, or I’m at his and Xavier’s home at the back of the clubhouse. We haven’t ventured inside with the mass of the main room but I’ve still managed to get to know a few of his men.

We’re currently at Marcum’s since Demi asked for a reprieve from hearing us rolling around in the sheets. According to her, we’re loud and boisterous when we are in bed. With the sheet twisted around me, I lean over and lay my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he sleeps.

Now that my eyes are open, there’s no getting back to sleep. Once I’m up, I’m up. And as if my stomach is on some sort of alarm clock, queasiness strikes. I cup my hand over my mouth and head to his ensuite and drop to my knees in front of his toilet.

“Baby, are you okay?” Marcum drowsily asks as he turns on the faucet and runs a washrag underneath the steady flow of water.“That sounds painful,” he adds as he crouches down behind me, wrapping me up with his arms and legs. He places the cool rag on the back of my neck and wipes away the sweat that’s pebbled there.

“Thank you,” I gag. “I hate this part.”

“I hate it for you. I think when we go to see Dr. Limons, we need to mention this symptom isn’t easing for you, if anything, it’s getting worse.”

“I sent the nurse practitioner a message through the portal yesterday. They’re sending a prescription to the pharmacy and it should be ready for pick up later this afternoon. I couldn’t wait another day; it’s getting harder to hold down water. I don’t want to deal with dehydration on top of everything else.”

“How will we find out if it’s ready?” he probes. I suspect he wants me to have it sooner rather than later.

I’ve been losing weight everywhere but in my belly which is starting to round out. Most days, I subsist on saltines, ginger ale, and the occasional bottle of Gatorade that he forces on me.

“I’ll get a message in my inbox. I haven’t checked it yet this morning since I was preoccupied,” I point out. “Your kid is going to be a ballbuster. I have this feeling he’s going to be a testament to my turning gray earlier than I should.”

“I think you’d be even sexier than you are now with silver entwined with your darker hair,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

I giggle even though my gut’s still roiling and I have that sickly sweet scent from sweating during my latest purge session. “I need a shower,” I murmur.

Instead of letting me get up on my own, he scoops after unwinding the sheet from around me and heads into the freaking awesome shower he has that takes up almost half of the bathroom itself.

“Let me take care of you, Luna mine,” he whispers into my ear causing me to do a full body shiver.

“Okay, Marcum,” I say, giving in because anytime I can have his hands on me, I’ll take it. Especially since right now, I feel like a wrung out noodle. I mean, there’s absolutelynothingsexy about holding my hair back as I throw up everything I’ve ever eaten or that my ancestors have at this point!

Of course, it will definitely help me when writing a badass alpha, that’s for sure. Marcum, for all his talk of never doing any kind of relationship before, has stepped into the role very, very well. And even the times we stay at his place, he understands that sometimes, the muse strikes and I have to write.

As he holds me under the warm spray jetting out of the showerheads, yes, plural, I allow my mind to drift to my latest binge.

“Luna, what are you doing up?” he asks, his voice rough with sleep.

“New character talking,” I reply, my gaze focused on my laptop screen as my fingers fly over the keys. “Gotta get it down enough so I can pick it back up and flesh it out some more.”

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