Page 20 of The Rule of 3

“Pfft!” she exclaimed. “Stupid hillbillies.” Leering at him, she offered, “If you can’t find anywhere else to stay, you can always come back here and sleep with me. I can teach you a thing or two.” She licked her lips, and then giggled.

Eli’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline, and he was relieved to feel his phone buzz with a text telling him that the driver was here. “Well, in any case, I’ll see you both later.” Eli and his baggage were out of there and into the limo in record time.

He quickly told the driver, “Take me to Tanner’s house please.” He figured he’d better send his buddy a text and let him know he was on his way at least. No sense in another rude awakening this morning.

Eli: Hey Tan. There’s trouble in Mayberry. I’ve been kicked out and I’m on my way over now.

Within seconds, Eli got Tanner’s reply:

Tanner: WTF??

Eli: The hippies are in town. Mrs. D wants to jump my bones and they have drugs. Pot for sure- maybe more.

Tanner: Well shit.

Less than ten minutes later, Eli stood on Tanner’s front porch looking distraught and smelling like a doob. Tanner opened the door and gave a little cough. “Come on in. Any great idea on what we’re going to do about them?”

“Whatcanwe do? They’re Zoë’s family,” Eli pointed out frantically. “I just didn’t quite get the message about what weirdos they were. We’re going to somehow keep them away—far away—from any of the press who’re likely to show up tonight. This could be a disaster!”

Just then, Zoë entered the room, and Eli was struck once more by her unbelievable beauty and his inappropriate desire for her. He sucked in a breath thinking that this wedding was going to kill him in one way or another. The mother and father of the bride had the potential of completely ruining the groundwork he’d carefully laid out for Tanner’s path to the governor’s mansion, and nowhehad a major case of the hots for the bride. This was an unmitigated mess. He needed to regain control over the situation immediately.

Tanner broke into Eli’s inner turmoil, asking, “Do you want to stay here?”

“What?” Eli’s voice cracked. “Why? Isn’t there a motel nearby?”

Tanner smiled and explained, “There’s a motel, but it’s been full for weeks. You know that. You’ve brought in campaign specialists, and we have out-of-town wedding guests there too. Everyone is doubling up and filling every last room. So, your choices are to go back and stay in Zoë’s house with the parents or stay here in the guest room. Zoë stayed in it last night so we wouldn’t sleep together the night before the wedding, but she sure isn’t going to be in there tonight.” He gave Eli a wink. “I’m also sorry to say my parents’ house is full of family, so there’s no room there either.”

There was no time for a honeymoon with the school year still going on and the campaign in full swing, so they’d planned to take one later when they could enjoy a little respite. Eli could just imagine what it would be like staying here under those conditions.

Looking helplessly at Zoë, Eli asked, “Uh… if you didn’t want to sleep with Tanner, why are you here now? Aren’t you supposed to not see each other before the wedding?”

Zoë shrugged her shoulders and smiled. “We decided that was a dumb tradition, but the not sleeping together would just make tonight more exciting.” She had the courtesy to blush. “So, now that you’ve met my parents, and you understand the trouble they might cause, do you want me to do something about them?”

Furrowing his brow, Eli asked, “Zoë, do you want them at the wedding? This is really up to you. Say the word, and I’ll make sure they stay away, but if you want them there, we need to do some serious damage control.”

Zoë thought for a moment and answered cautiously, “I know they’re kooks, but they’re the only parents I have. So, yes, I would like them there. I’m happy they cared enough finally to show up actually. I didn’t give them a lot of details because, frankly, I was scared to be disappointed again if they flaked out on me.” She looked at Tanner. “On the other hand, I know how important your career is to you, and I don’t want to be the source for any embarrassment.”

Tanner immediately swept Zoë into his arms and assured her, “Nothing about you could ever be less than perfect in my eyes. We’ll just have to deal with them the best we can.” He looked imploringly at Eli for guidance.

“Alright. Let me just go bring my stuff in from the car and the I’ll make some calls. I have a few ideas.” Eli looked at Zoë, asking, “Do you have another key to the house? I need to go back and give one to your parents. They’re in it now, but if they leave, they could end up locked out.”

“Sure, Eli, but why do you need the extra one?” she asked quizzically.

“More damage control.”

Chapter 20

A couple of hours later, Eli showed up again at Zoë’s house offering the key to Mrs. Deliban with the explanation, “I’m sorry I forgot to give this to you earlier.” He hid a grimace as she stroked his hand while accepting the key with a suggestive grin. Ignoring her look, he continued, “As a courtesy to both of you—being VIP guests and all—some stylists are going to be here in an hour or so. They’ll make sure you have the full spa treatment and complimentary wardrobe for tonight. Please comply with everything they tell you to wear and do.”

Mr. Deliban appeared behind his wife asking, “Why should we, Junior? Ain’t we good enough for you?”

Plastering on what he hoped looked like a congenial smile, Eli explained, “Mr. and Mrs. Deliban, I’m sure you’re aware that Tanner is a prominent political leader in this town and he is currently running for governor. Wouldn’t you love to see your daughter as first lady of Kentucky?” He felt bolstered as he saw the couple both stand a little taller and watched as their eyes grew brighter, so he forged ahead with his next plan. “And if you comply with the stylists, I’ll pay you ten thousand dollars. Cash.”

“Well! Now yer talkin’, Junior!” Mr. Deliban crowed. “Bring ‘em on. We can be as hoity-toity asyoufor that kind of persuasion.”

Eli gave a mental fist pump and patted his own back.I knew it! The greedy creep.“Just one more thing. If a member of the press should ask you anything, just smile politely and tell them you don’t wish to be bothered on your daughter’s special day. Can you do that?” Eli reached into his pocket and produced an enormous wad of hundred-dollar bills. “Here’s half now and I’ll give you the other half later. If you behave.” He watched as they stared at the cash with greedy expressions. They both nodded agreeably, so he handed over the money. “Ah, I hear a car pulling up now, so I think the wardrobe stylists are here already. I’ll leave you to them. Later a driver will take you to the local salon for haircuts for both of you and makeup for Mrs. Deliban.”

Later that afternoon, as soon as the driver left with the Delibans for their appointments, a man arrived at the house accompanied by a German Shepherd. He let himself into the house with a key, telling the dog, “Okay, Fritz, let’s get to work, good boy!” Less than twenty minutes later, they left the house, this time with a large, very full bag. They then proceeded to check out the interior of the van that was parked in the driveway, and added a few more items to the bag. With a satisfied smile and a big treat for the dog, he drove off.

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