Page 26 of The Rule of 3

“I’ll come too,” announced Tanner with a resolute expression. “We’re family now, for better or worse.”

A little while later, they all arrived at Zoë’s house, where she felt weird watching Eli knock on her own front door. She would have felt even worse walking in on the current residents, however. One never knew…

Zoë’s father came to the door looking hungover and grumpy. “Whadaya want, Junior? Oh, hi, Zoë and Mayor Tanner.” He made no move to let them through the door.

“May we come in, Dad?” she asked. As her father finally opened the door all the way for them, she asked, “Why did you call Eli ‘Junior?’”

Her father guffawed and answered, “Well, yesterday morning he showed up at the door in not much more than skivvies that looked tailor-made, he was wearing a ring worth prob’ly more than this here house, and he’s got a snooty sounding name that prob’ly means he’s really Elbert Wifflestick, Junior or sumthin’. So, I just cut to the chase and call him Junior.”

Eli turned a little pink while Tanner cracked up. Zoë looked lost, so Tanner checked his laughter long enough to explain. “Eli’s full name is Elison Whittaker, the Third.” He looked at Mr. Deliban and said, “Very perceptive, sir.”

“Hah! Called it,” the old man chortled. Then he turned around and hollered “Hey, Mariposa! We got company! Git yer skinny ass out here!”

Blanching, Zoë wondered who Mariposa was. Her mother’s name was Mildred. But within seconds her mother swanned down the hall toward them in a diaphanous cloud of floaty, tie-dyed material. She had apparently taken her corsage from the wedding and repurposed it, for now she had flowers in her hair. They were looking a bit wilted.

“Hello darlings,” she cooed flirtatiously, eyeing Eli up and down. After she licked her lips, she regarded her daughter finally. “Lovely wedding, Zoë. I’m so glad we could do our part.”

Blinking and shaking her head slightly, Zoë wondered just what part of the wedding her mother thought she could take credit for. She guessed it was just that her father had managed to walk her down the aisle, so she said nothing to that remark. On closer inspection, both of her parents seemed to be sober, so Zoë thought it would be a good time to clear up a couple of things for once and for all.

She started out with, “Did Dad call you Mariposa?”

“Why, yes, Zoë. Didn’t we tell you? We had a spiritual reawakening when we got to California. We were baptized in the Pacific Ocean by our guru and he anointed us with new names. I am now Mariposa, and your father is now Orion. Aren’t they wonderful? I’m forever a butterfly, and your daddy is a constellation and also a hunter.” She sighed contentedly.

Zoë privately wondered if her father had ever had the gumption to go out and hunt for anything more challenging than Easter eggs, but she kept her mouth shut about that too. “Yes, lovely names. I’m sure that was a very moving celebration.”

“It was damned cold!” Orion exclaimed. “I thought my balls would freeze off. There we were on this nude beach in La Jolla, and the water in the Pacific is colder ‘n shit!”

Tanner and Eli seemed to be holding in their snickers, so Zoë forged on. “Sorry to hear about that. I’ve heard that tourists are often surprised at just how cold the water is there. Anyway,” she looked at both her parents solemnly, “now that we’re together, I wanted to tell you again how touched and how grateful I was that you used your jackpot money to pay off my student loans and the mortgage on the house. It’s been a tremendous relief to me to not be saddled with those payments each month.” She hugged her mother and then her father, who both had blank looks on their faces.

“We, uh…” began Mariposa, but Orion gave her a sharp look and pinched her arm. “Ow! What’s wrong with you, Otis… er, Orion?”

“You say the mortgage is paid in full?” Orion questioned Zoë with a sneaky expression.

“Well, yes. You paid it off. Mom told me.” Looking at her mother, she added, “Didn’t you?”

Mariposa seemed to be wrestling with her brain, and then said, “I do recall telling you something about the jackpot.”

“What jackpot?” demanded Orion. “Are you holding out on me, woman?”

“No! The one you won in the casino in Reno. You remember,” she cajoled her husband.

“That lousy thousand bucks?”

“What?” cried Zoë. “You couldn’t have paid off anything with that! Then who paid off the loans?” She spun on Tanner and noticed his face was a little pink, and he was staring at Eli, who was studying his shoes. “Oh. Oh!” She turned back to her parents and said, “Never mind this, but don’t go getting any more lousy ideas about mortgaging it again. I’ve been paying the taxes for years. You left it to me.”

“Well, now, honey, that’s debatable,” said her dad in an oily voice.

Eli broke in and said, “I’m quite sure Zoë could hire a lawyer who’d straighten this all out to everyone’s satisfaction. Now, Mr. and Mrs. Deliban, I wanted to come over here today to make sure you two had everything you need for your drive back to California…”

“Where’s the rest of our money?” Orion demanded.

“What money?” asked Zoë and Mariposa at the same time.

Smiling politely, Eli explained, “I offered your parents an incentive for them to get back to their ‘jobs’ in California quickly. It’s just a sum that will make sure their van stays in good repair and they don’t have any undue stress making the journey.”

Orion snorted, and Mariposa squinted at him. “Who’s holding out now, you old fool? This Adonis here gave you some money, and you never mentioned it?”

She kept this tirade up for another few minutes until Zoë announced, “Mom, Dad, it was good seeing you. Thanks for making the trip all the way home for the wedding, and I hope you have a safe trip back. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have an appointment we all need to get to. So, when you leave, and I hope that will betoday, just leave the key under the kitchen doormat.” She gave them perfunctory kisses and then marched out the door muttering under her breath. Tanner followed her out and they waited for Eli at the car.

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