Page 33 of The Rule of 3

Zoë was a natural at it, no matter how many misgivings she’d had about her ability to fit in. Eli was right; she dazzled people. Men lusted, women either envied or copied, but in all cases, they took notice of the charming young school teacher who was obviously deeply in love with her dashingly handsome and eloquent husband. They were the ultimate couple.

Many weekends found them touring farms and ranches around the state as well. Tanner had grown up around his father’s customers, many of whom were horse owners, so he managed to fit right in with them as easily as the people they met at fancier occasions. Tanner and Zoë both admired acres and acres of cornfields, patted horses, cattle, and even a few pigs here and there. They shook what must have been millions of hands and smiled until their cheeks ached.

All the while, Eli stayed in the background, bursting with pride for the two people he loved so dearly—for he and Zoë had declared their love for one another as much as they both loved Tanner. He watched as Kentuckians were drawn to Tanner and Zoë. He observed as they spoke to people and analyzed who unconsciously mirrored their movements and gestures—a dead giveaway as to what they felt. When someone had a more reserved or negative reaction to the couple, either Eli or Caro would casually seek them out and carefully discover the source of their negativity. Sometimes they could just discuss the problem on the spot and clear things up, or other times, Eli would discuss issues with Tanner that would later be addressed in a public speech or a future debate. Eli didn’t want to leave anything to chance.

Caro’s job was to find out as much as she could about Tanner’s opposition. It was a pretty easy job coming up to the primary, however, because in the face of Tanner’s huge popularity, one by one, the other candidates fell by the wayside, leaving him with just one challenger for his party’s nomination. When that guy’s reputation was blown two weeks before the election, he too would have thrown in the towel, except that it was too late. Some resourceful photographer took photos of the man leaving an AA meeting and then later the same day shoplifting a bottle of scotch from a local liquor store. People didn’t know whether to be sorry for the guy because he was overstressed, mad about his stealing, or infuriated at him for being a scotch drinker in Kentucky. Bourbon was like the state beverage in a commonwealth that produced ninety-five percent of the bourbon that is consumed worldwide. In any case, his shot at winning the nomination went kablooey with that magnificent faux pas.

Once the party nomination seemed in the bag, Caro turned her focus to the opposing party’s candidates. There would be no incumbent this year, so she felt they were on a level playing field, at least. She had her eye on one guy in particular who seemed ready to clinch the party’s nomination and wondered what his story would be. She intended to find out.

What she found was a rich guy with a bunch of wealthy friends, not much personality or experience, but he looked good in a suit for a fifty-year old man. His name was Terrence Backman, and he seemed full of fluff to her. He had the look of a man who spent many an hour on the golf course, but he was pleasant.

At night, after all of the work, speeches, glad-handing and general being out in the public eye was finished for the day, they would all retire to the mayor’s house for a nightcap. Caro usually stayed long enough to be friendly but not so long that she felt like an intruder. She knew they were all exhausted.

And they were. Each night, usually depending on who was the most worn out, that person would end up in bed first, and the other two would just climb in on either side as they wore out. There was never any side of the bed possessiveness. They all slept in the nude, and it often resembled a pile of arms and legs crisscrossing haphazardly around each other. They were all three snugglers, so personal space barely existed for them. If they didn’t make love when they first got to bed, they usually managed to wake each other up at some point during the night to do so. Each was secure in the strength of their unusual union. Eli may have preferred his more anonymous role in the grand plan, but he was every bit as important to their success as the other two and an equal partner in the bedroom.

Finally, on a Tuesday in late June, they were not the least bit surprised when Tanner locked in the nomination for his party’s choice to be the Governor of Kentucky. A few people thought he was just too young and inexperienced for the job, but the press continued to highlight his many accomplishments as mayor of Honeybee Hollow, so those doubters were usually shot down pretty quickly by people accusing them of reverse ageism.

Zoë quit her job. It was a sad day for her as she loved her classroom and everything about her career as a teacher. But she loved Tanner even more, and he would need her by his side throughout the rest of the campaign. He was no shoo-in for the governorship. It was going to be a bloody battle ahead for them.

Tanner had already worked so hard to get the nomination, and now, as Eli put it, “The real work begins.”

So, Zoë moved out of the school room and into the campaign headquarters where she could help Eli. And when she wasn’t busy making phone calls or running around, she gave talks to ladies’ auxiliaries, garden clubs, book clubs, church groups, and anywhere they thought she could make a difference. She found she was beginning to enjoy speaking to large groups of adults instead of five-year-olds after all. She was a wonderful representative for her husband.

Chapter 28

In July, Tanner’s office got a call from someone who claimed to be the executive assistant to someone she referred to as Colonel. Apparently, this Colonel wanted a meeting immediately with Mayor Lassiter. The assistant let Tanner’s assistant Opal know that Colonel got what he wanted when he wanted it, and the meeting was to be at seven o’clock Saturday morning aboard Colonel’s private fishing boat on the Cumberland River, and Tanner was directed to come prepared to fish. Directions to the marina were sent via email as they spoke.

Needless to say, when Tanner got the message, he laughed.

“What kind of a jerk calls himself Colonel in Kentucky? Colonel who? Did she happen to say what he’s the colonel of?” he asked Opal, whose face had gone red. “And that area is over two hours away by car. Is he nuts or something?”

“Sorry, Mayor Lassiter, I’m just relaying the information. She wouldn’t stay on the line long enough for me to ask any questions for you. The only other information she gave me was that he wanted to discuss your campaign.” Opal looked guilty, so Tanner tried to put her mind at ease.

“I’m not upset with you, Opal. Get her back on the line, please, and tell her my weekend is already booked up completely. I have no intention of getting up before dawn to go fishing with some cocky crackpot. And try to figure out what this is all about while you’re at it.” As soon as Opal left his office, Tanner phoned Eli.

“Have you ever heard of anyone in Kentucky called Colonel?” he asked without preamble.

Not missing a beat, Eli quipped, “No, and my refrigerator isn’t running either, so I don’t need to go catch it.”

“What are you talking about, Eli?”

“What areyoutalking about, Tan? I thought we were playing telephone games like seven-year olds.”

“Oh, yeah. No. I just had a weird summons to appear from some weirdo who calls himself Colonel and who wants me to meet him at the ass crack of dawn to go fishing in an area that’s like two and a half hours away. His assistant bossed poor old Opal around so much, I was afraid she was going to break down in tears.”

Eli’s voice lowered to a whisper as he asked, “You’re contemplating ‘going fishing’ with another man? Tanner!” Then he burst out laughing.

“Ha-ha. I’d never dothat. But seriously, Eli, see if you can figure out who this guy is. Maybe it’s legitimate. I don’t want to piss off anyone at this stage, even though I told Opal to decline the invitation for me. If the guy wants to meet about my campaign, he can do it at a more convenient time.” Tanner stared out the window and watched a group of kids walking down the sidewalk. He wondered idly if one of them would ever want his job someday.

“Don’t worry, Tan. I’ll look into it and let you know as soon as I can.” There was a little pause and he added, “Zoë just got back from her errand. Would you like us to bring you some lunch?”

“Thanks, Eli. You’re the best. I’ll see you when you get here. Anything would be fine for lunch.” After disconnecting the call, Tanner called his mother.

“Tanner! Nice to hear from you, son. Can you and Zoë come over for dinner soon?” Mrs. Lassiter was always up for a family dinner, especially now that Zoë was part of the family.

“Hi, Mama. We’ll have to talk about it. Thanks. You know things are really crazy right now, and the town is planning the Honeybee Festival along with all of my campaigning, so…” he trailed off hoping she’d get the picture. When all she did was huff at him, he barged on, “Mama, have you ever heard of some character in Kentucky who calls himself Colonel? Not Sanders. I don’t know his last name actually.”

She laughed and answered, “I guess he was all in the news while you and Eli were off at Princeton. He’s been pretty quiet about his business since then, but he’s sort of a big deal in chicken farming. He’s also as eccentric as they come and as rich as Croesus.”

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