Page 14 of Gray Area

“It’s okay; I was staring at you,” I say, shocking the shit out of myself.

We remain there looking at each other, neither of us saying a thing. I can hear my conscience telling me to leave but I can’t rip myself away. I feel like something unspoken just happened between us, but I have no idea what it was. And again I feel it—the comfort, the familiarity of the other day on the bus when oureyes connected. Only when the sound of chairs being moved is all around us do I look away from Declan.

I stand up and move with the other students to pull my desk to a spot in a row that is empty, but I bump into another student. “Sorry,” I say hurriedly, looking to the young man behind me I just hit with my back.

“Totally my fault,” he says and grins at me. I smile back. But I watch as his smile slides as he glances behind me. The other student quickly pushes his desk across the room. I look behind me, but Declan is examining his fingernail, and I don’t see anything or anyone else in that direction. Weird.

“Bye, Declan,” I say as I put on my coat then jostle my large backpack onto my shoulders

Declan’s eyes meet mine, and I freeze. “Good night, Vivian,” he says softly from his seat. It takes actual effort for me to turn away from him, but I do. Even though I desperately want to stay.

Chapter 7

DECLAN

Iremain rooted to my seat as Vivian leaves tonight as I always do. I was a dick to her, and that bothers me. And the fact that it bothers me is also bothering me.

See, being an asshole is sort of my calling card. I like it. I don’t actually care for most people, and so me being an asshole helps weed out the ones who don’t really want to be around me. So when my behavior bothers people, I just assume they aren’t worth the effort of getting to know me. But the thought that I had upset Vivian tonight by being rude to her makes me so mad at myself, and that doesn’t really fit with my wholebeing an asshole who doesn’t give a shit about otherspersona.

I am attracted to Vivian, no doubt about it. I mean, from the second I saw her glossy black hair, she’s been all I can think about. Pairing that with her beautiful face and her personalityhas me desperate to be around her. She is creating things in me I haven’t ever felt before.

And Vivian is the polar opposite of my usual type. I generally go for the dim ones, the ones who can’t have more than a two-minute flirty conversation. I am known more to be with women who wear minimal clothing and spend their nights pounding shots. I like them to know I am a few-hour thing at the most, and that generally seems to work for them.

Vivian dresses appropriately for the weather and spends her evenings in class. But what does she do after class? Does she go straight home? Does she change and go out? She looks tired sometimes; is that why?What the fuck do you care, Declan?my subconscious asks, interrupting my spiraling thoughts.

I extricate myself from the desk and stalk out to the parking lot just as the bus is pulling away. Which is good. I do not have time to explore whatever it is about Vivian that has captured my attention. I have business to worry about.

My brothers were in charge of disposing of the degenerates Tuesday night, and did so at the nearest emergency room. My Dad insisted he be the one to talk to Perez. He’d been really hopped up after our interaction, and when we got home, he’d said it just didn’t feel right.

“I’ve known Perez for a long fucking time. He is a man of his word, and he promised me he’d keep his shit out.”

“He’s a drug dealer, Dad,” I had reminded him.

“He is a man with honor,” he told me sharply. “Trust me, Declan, the people on the right side of the law are not always more morally sound than a drug dealer.”

I know he is right, but I still don’t believe that a promise made to my father decades earlier, by someone so blatantly on the wrong side of the law, could be trusted.

“I’m going to go and talk to him tomorrow and—”

“I’ll go too,” I said, cutting him off.

My father shook his head and opened his mouth to argue, but then he took a long look at me. He inhaled deeply and started to nod his head. “Okay, yeah, yeah, Declan, you come too.”

I have made an executive decision to have my brothers nearby, just in case. My dad feels confident about Perez being someone he can trust, but I do not. Besides, I have heard rumblings of Perez’s son starting to learn the business in order to take over for his father, and I know my father couldn’t vouch for his loyalty.

My father reached out to Perez and made arrangements for us to meet up tonight, once I am done with my class. I drive back home, park my car, and am about to get out and head to my dad’s car, but as soon as I shut the door, I notice my father making his way toward me.

“What’s up?” I call to him as he crosses the walkway to me.

“I thought we could take your car tonight,” he says, walking around my car to the passenger side.

“Uh, sure,” I say, opening my door and sliding back inside. This is weird. My dad always drives. He’s repeatedly said he feels like driving gives him the best way to stay in control. Something about this sudden change in behavior is sending warning bells for me.

Once I back out of the driveway, I glance over at my dad. “You okay?”

He fixes a questioning gaze at me. “Yeah,” he says slowly, “why?”

I shrug, weaving my way through the familiar city streets. “You always drive,” I point out to him by way of answering.

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