Page 93 of Gray Area

“I have my ways,” he responds and leans back against the door.

I turn around, agitation quickly moving through me. Avoiding the questions—some things never change. “I’m sure you do,” I say as I take in his suite. I’m surprised at the size of it. The entire living space is at least three times the size of the one I just left, and the end of the room has huge windows with a view of the harbor.

I stare out the window and smile in spite of this awkward situation. He’d done it. I knew he could do anything if he set his mind to it, make everything he wanted for his family happen, and here is the proof of it all.

As I stand there taking in the sparkling city lights bouncing off the waterfront, I can feel Declan’s eyes boring into my back. “What do you want, Declan?” I ask, still facing the window. I give him ten seconds, and when he doesn’t answer me, I turn back to him to meet his stare. “You woke me up and brought me here. What do you want?”

“I want you to finish telling me what you started earlier.”

I close my eyes and shake my head, turning back to the window. “I didn’t start saying anything, Declan.” I spin back around and pin him with a glare. “I told you the truth and you didn’t like it.”

He moves quickly to stand over me, glaring down at me, his nostrils flaring. I’m sure he scares a lot of people, and he is definitely intimidating now, but I’m not scared. “I didn’t leave you,” he growls out through his teeth. “I was—”

“Completely absent and gone,” I say harshly, throwing my words at him to try and inflict some of the pain that I had felt. That I still feel, the pain that had risen within me like the tide once I saw him. A horrible, aching, desperate pain that I thought had totally receded, that I thought I was beyond.

“I was protecting you,” he throws back, his voice rising.

“From what? From whom?” I yell, matching his tone. “You never told me anything! You just left, and you’d return and try to say the right things, fuck me, and then leave again.”

“The less you knew the better,” Declan says flatly.

“Better,” I say and tack on a humorless laugh. “You know, Declan, I thought this would help us move on, but it’s really just pissing me the fuck off.” I move to make my way around him, and he grabs my arm.

I take a deep breath. “Let go, Declan,” I say, not looking at him.

“No.”

“I said let go,” I growl through my teeth as I yank my arm from his hand and move to the door. I grab the handle but before I can turn it, Declan is pressing himself into me from behind. I feel my breath catch.You should be nervous, I tell myself, but what I feel inside is not nerves.

I keep my face forward, knowing that turning to him is a bad idea. Declan leans into me. I can feel every inch of him pressed up against my back, his chiseled chest and tight stomach. And the hard length of him pressing into my ass. It makes me breathefaster, but not in fear, like my reasonable side says I should be. No, fear is so far from what my body is feeling right now.

Declan brings his mouth to my ear. “There were dangerous people out to hurt the people I love. So I needed to keep you safe, Vivian. I needed to keep my dad and Roman safe too. I sent them away to keep them safe. And I kept you at home to keep you safe. I didn’t tell you so I could keep you safe.”

“You left me, and didn’t let me in. You treated me like a child, not as an equal,” I remind him. “You only said you needed to take care of some things. Not to worry. When has that ever made someone not fucking worry, Declan?” I ask in a hushed tone, trying to keep my emotions in check and failing miserably.

Declan’s breathing comes faster. I feel it along with his racing heart rate against my back. And my body responds exactly the same way. My mouth opens, and I close my eyes, absorbing the feel of him against me, feeling my body coming alive, waking from its years of hibernation.

“I couldn’t tell you,” his lips whisper at my ear.

“Yes, you could have,” I argue, swallowing. I open my eyes, trying to find my last bit of restraint. “Declan, let me go.”

He presses into me in response to my demand. “No, Vivian,” he says, so close to my ear. Then he drops a kiss below my ear, and my eyes fall shut. My core weeps as it remembers this person and the things he can make me feel.

“We can’t do this,” I say weakly.

“Why?” he asks, kissing my neck. “Tell me you don’t want me, Vivian,” he taunts, because he knows. “I’ll stop. Just tell me you don’t want this.”

“It won’t fix what is broken between us,” I tell him. “It won’t fix that you hurt me.”

Declan freezes, then reaches to turn me to him. His eyes are different now, and his face has softened. Truly I see him, myDeclan at this moment. “Tell me how to fix it, Vivian,” he pleads, cupping my face. “Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

“I don’t know if we can ever fix it, Declan,” I say, tears falling. My heart hurts, so sick of crying over Declan Falco. It’s been years of it.

His face storms over. “Is it him? That fucking Kent?”

I shake my head. “No, we aren’t anything,” I tell him. “I think that we, me and you, had our time, and…and it didn’t work out.”

He breathes heavier. “I did it, Vivian. My brothers and I, we did it. We made Falco Enterprises an empire. We are respected, envied. We hit the bar I set for us, and then some. I’m a king, but it means nothing, because I’ve done all this, I made it all legit and have worked hard and built it. But it is nothing because I am dead without you.”

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