Page 105 of Gray Area

Fucking Slade, I think, rolling my eyes as he laughs at his own joke. It’s good when some things never change.

Chapter 65

VIVIAN

Ican’t ignore my bladder anymore, I decide. I stretch and roll my limbs and my arms, then pad my way to the bathroom attached to Declan’s room. I’m washing my hands when I hear the alarms going off on his monitors. I spin to go back in when the bathroom door is opened by Declan.

“Declan, we need to get you back in bed,” I say, panicked, wrapping my arm around his waist and guiding him back to the bed as a nurse bursts into the room.

“Mr. Falco!”

“He’s okay, Pam,” I assure her, helping Declan to sit on the bed.

The sweet nurse rushes over and checks Declan’s dressings on his legs, then peeks into his johnny to evaluate his chest wound. “Everything looks okay, but let’s just get you back into bed andon the monitor, okay?” she offers kindly, and together we settle Declan.

Once Pam leaves, I go and sit on the side of his bed. “Are you okay?” I ask him. His eyes never left my face the entire time the nurse and I fussed over him. And still he is just locked in on me.

“Vivian,” he says, his tone still that deep, vibrating baritone that I fell in love with.

“Yes, baby , what is it?” I ask, unable to keep the term of endearment to myself.

“I love you,” he says.

I smile. “I love you too, Declan.” Because I can’t deny it, or fight, or push it away anymore. We are a part of each other, made for each other, a love that people wish an entire lifetime for. And I am never walking away from this ever again.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“For what?”

“For leaving you all those years ago,” he says, and I slowly process his words.

I shake my head. “No, Declan, it was me—”

“No,” he says sharply, cutting me off. “I left. I wasn’t there, I broke you, and…and I think a part of me did it on purpose, you know? Because I knew I was doing that to you, not that I meant to but by doing what I was doing, what I had to do, and keeping you out of it, I was breaking your heart. And I knew that I was not good for you, not then. I really wasn’t,” he says emphatically when I balk and try to retort.

He goes on. ”And it broke me when you left, because I think the cocky part of me, the part that knew how incredible our love was, thought that it would be enough, you know, to just love each other. I was so caught up in fixing things and keeping you safe, I pushed you out. And you told me, but I still did it. I didn’t listen.”

He shakes his head and looks away briefly, swallowing. “You know, Slade told me something the day after we saw each otherat the gala. He said that you leaving me was the best thing that ever happened to me and you. And I was so pissed when he said it, but I think he was right. You leaving pushed me to work hard to make my goals and dreams reality. And you got to find your own way, and make choices for you. We would have been amazing back then, but it would have been a constant of me trying to keep you safe, and I would have smothered your light. It would have ended us in a different way.”

His gray-blue eyes connect with mine again. ”But now, now I have you back, and I am never, ever letting you go,” he says possessively, and my body heats at his tone. “I have been an absolute shell of a man without you, because I have been working for ten years to be a good enough man to have you, so you could make me whole.”

I feel my mouth hanging open, but I am literally incapable of closing it. What does a woman say to that? How does one even respond to a declaration of love like that? I don’t know, but I have to try.

“You have always been a good man, Declan. It was me who was blinded by the black and white. And I thought many times that ours was a love that I would never get back again. Because who can get that back once they have left it? Like, I was sure you wouldn’t still want me, but I feel our connection still,” I admit. I look away before I speak again. “But we have both changed, Declan. It is possible it won’t be like it was—”

Declan grabs my face and presses my lips to his. “You have been and will always be mine. We have grown and now we can keep growing together,” he growls against my lips. “I will spend the rest of my life proving to you how much I love you.”

I cry then, because the relief I feel heals the grief I had shoved down deep to avoid.

“Declan, I know you love me. Want to know how?” I ask him. And I laugh when he angles his head at me, the way he alwayshas, asking me silent questions. “Because you knew where I was and you allowed me to still finish what I had started,” I tell him.

Declan shows no emotion, and I shake my head at him as I smile. “I don’t know what you mean,” he says, attempting to kiss me again.

I put a hand gently to his chest and stop him. “No? So you are going to tell me you’ve never heard of the Streets to Success Foundation?” I ask him. “The foundation that covered the remainder of my school bills from sophomore year on when the initial funding I’d been granted ran out?”

“Never heard of it,” Declan says stoically.

“Really, because the program from the gala lists it in your bio as one of the charitable foundations you solely created,” I inform him. Something I didn’t know until I read the program Axel had given me when he’d walked me back to my room that early morning. “You found me, didn’t you? And you didn’t tell me. Why?”

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