Page 84 of Gray Area

I take my gun out and put it under his chin, and the laugh dies on Lexington’s lips. “I smell something else,” I tell him.

“Going to kill me? It’ll just reinforce the thug you are,” he says. “And your money will still be mine. So go ahead—more blood on your hands, and just as low-class as I always knew you were.”

This isn’t working the way I had planned it. He’d spun the narrative on me, has me against a wall, and I hate to admit it. But this is something I can’t fix with my hands or threats or a shot to the knee. So I put my gun away.

“I will destroy you piece by piece and take away everything you love,” I swear to him.

Lexington narrows his gaze at me. “Not if I take everything from you first,” he hisses his own promise, then he turns away. I stay rooted where I am until I’m sure he’s gone. I’m not worried he’ll shoot me, but I don’t want him to think I trust him, even a little.

Just before he’s completely back through the door to the abandoned restaurant, Lexington stops, and without turning he says loudly, “Oh, and Declan, that black-haired beauty of yours, she is for sure someone I wouldn’t mind spending some time with.” He then slips forward and lets the heavy steel door slam shut behind him.

Rage pounds through me at his veiled warning. Then I feel something else—fear.

I turn and pick up the gun Lexington had left in the alleyway, and make my way back to the car, my brothers meeting me there.

“I have to get to Vivian,” I say, sliding in the driver’s seat and starting the car before my brothers are even inside.

That fucker is going to wish he had never met a Falco when I am done with him. But first, I have to get to Vivian.

Chapter 50

VIVIAN

Iset the system just like Axel had shown me. Every door and window is locked, but still I feel uneasy, afraid. But afraid of what? Am I afraid of being alone in the house? No, I know Axel has made sure it is safe. He is really good at it, and he took it all very seriously. He’d also assured me they have guys nearby to help if something is tripped and he or Slade or Declan aren’t here. So no, I’m not afraid at the house. I know I am safe here.

So where is the fear stemming from?

For as long as I can remember, I have always been afraid. It isn’t a new feeling for me; if anything, it is the one feeling I understand the best. And I have always been able to nail down where my fear is resulting from. But in the last few months, the things that had scared me, the things that had always been a worry for me, had eased up significantly. Place to live? Settled,and safe. Food to eat? Plenty. I am never hungry anymore. Providing for myself? The job thing is in limbo, but there is no pressure to get one like I’d always had to before. Bettering myself? Applications are out and the school thing is just a matter of time.

So where is the fear flowing from?

There’s a small voice I am desperate to quiet, but as I search for the source of my fear, it continues to spring up just loud enough. It says Declan.

And I hate that it is true, and that Declan is the source of my unease. Am I afraid he will hurt me? No. Never. Am I afraid he will leave me? No, what we have is something strong, something powerful, something different. He loves me, and I love him. I know that. I have no doubts or dread about that. I know he would do anything for me.

That’s what it is, I realize. Declan will doanythingfor me. He has done anything for me—took care of me when I was sick, fixed doors for me, brought me to and from work. He’d also rescued me not once but twice, in the alleyway and from the fire. Declan won’t shy away from dangerous things for anyone he cares about—not me, not his family. Even if they could kill him, even if he would never see any of us again. As long as he could protect the people he loves, Declan is willing to die for me, for all of us.

And would I survive that?

I don’t think I could. Losing him, I realize, is what I fear the most. I just found him, just brought him into my life, and I want a future with him. I’ve even allowed myself to fantasize of one where it is him and me, and forever.

But something is happening, and whatever it is, Declan doesn’t want me to know about it. The last thing he kept from me is the illegal side of his family’s affairs. But he has proven himself to me, explaining it, and then taking care of me, of my needs.But he’d promised no more secrets and he is definitely keeping something from me now.

I have shared everything with him; he knows things about me that no one else knows. Not even Bailey. He knows that I like being open and honest. I need transparency for us. Knowing what is going on keeps me at ease. We have been through it, we have discussed it, and he had promised. He promised he wouldn’t lie, and that he would keep me safe, and that we would be together.

“Please don’t be another promise breaker,” I whisper out loud as I stare at my phone, a picture of him with his rare smile on it. I touch the image, and smile a little back at him on the screen. “I love you, Declan,” I say to his frozen image, letting out a shaky breath, and tears leak from my eyes. “Come home safe to me.”

I check the time on my phone and see it’s after eleven. I feel such a physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion that I can’t fight the pull of sleep anymore. So I go to bed and use Declan’s pillow, inhaling his scent to bring me some peace.

“Vivian.”

The voice is stern and hard, and followed by a shake of my shoulders. I open my eyes and look into Declan’s. The room is dark but his eyes shine. “Declan?”

“We have to go,” Declan says to me, and then moves quickly to the closet.

“What?” I ask him, frozen in place for a moment, then gathering my wits and jumping out of bed after him.

“We have to go,” he says louder and sounding more aggravated now.

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