Page 86 of Gray Area

He drops his head, taking the time to think before he speaks, and then looks back up to me. “Someone back home is looking for a way to hurt me.”

I wait but that is the extent of his answer. “So you think that they will do something to me to hurt you?” I ask, and Declan nods. The fact that I am having to pull the answer from him is making me extremely irritable. “Who is it, Declan?”

“I can’t tell you,” he answers quickly.

“What do you mean, you can’t? Why?” I demand.

He doesn’t answer, instead pushing off the door frame and shaking his head. “Tell me,” I plead. “Why are you keeping secrets from me?”

“To keep you safe,” he tells me. “I need to keep you safe.”

“No, Declan, you need to fucking be honest with me,” I screech at him, complete panic overtaking my voice.

A war of emotions crosses over his face. “Vivian, I love you. And I have never been happier than since you came into my life. I love having you in it; I want you in all of it. But not this. This is something that you cannot be a part of.”

I shake my head at him before I answer. “That’s not right, Declan,” I say, tears coming. “You shouldn’t have to keep things from me.”

“It’s to keep you safe—”

“No! Fuck that! You don’t get to treat me like a child and keep me out of whatever the fuck this is! I am supposed to be an equal to you! A partner—that’s what a relationship is, Declan! We are supposed to be a team!”

“We are!” he yells back.

“No! Not if you hide me away, we aren’t! I’m not a child for you to send off so you can go and ‘take care of things,’ Declan.”

Declan and I have a stare down. I watch the conflict of him thinking he has to protect me wrestle with my wanting us to be equals and to be a part of his life. “My dad lent some asshole money. He’s a big name, who is actually a con man, and he is refusing to pay us. We threatened him for the money back and he hasn’t taken the threats well. He’s already done some shit to try and make the Falco name look bad. The next step is to attack us directly to get us to back down.”

“So to hurt you? These people want to hurt you?”

“I think the first thing they would do is provoke me by hurting what’s most important to me,” he says, boring his eyes into mine, driving the point into me.

“Can’t you go to the police?” I ask, desperate. “I mean, this sounds like this guy broke the law, so that’s who you go to, right?” I know what he will say before he says it, but I have to say something to keep him from getting in harm’s way. Maybe he will see reason.

“No, Vivian,” he says softly, shaking his head in complete irritation with my suggestion. “That’s not the way this works. I wish it was that simple, damn it, but it’s not. This is big time; this is beyond the law kind of shit. It’s not a fucking stolen candy bar.”

“I don’t understand why you have to take care of this. Like, there has to be a way to go about it legally—”

“Because the law doesn’t fucking care, Vivian! Okay?” Declan explodes, his patience with me finally snapping. “They don’tfucking care what happens to us! But the guy, the one who stole all the money, they fucking care about him. You know why? Because he makes it all look good, he makes everything look like he walks on fucking water! The people who are supposed to keep the law, who are supposed to be keeping us safe, are some of the most crooked fucking people, Vivian. The politicians and lawmakers, the ones making the big decisions that even the little guy cops have to follow? Well, they are in his back pocket! We have challenged this guy, who stole millions not just from me and my family but from tons of small people and he wantsusdead. And it would be fine—he could make it happen and just chalk it up to some thugs getting into a war for turf or some made-up shit because I’m not some guy in a suit with a trust fund and a retirement fucking plan! So I have to take action. Me and Axel and Slade have to stop him before he takes us out.”

I take it all in, and I hate that I can see the truth to what he is saying. I am not stupid enough to be unaware there are some people who are above the law, who pay the right people off and make things go away. Or that they take advantage of the little guy. I get it. I know it’s wrong. I just don’t want Declan to be the one to try and fix this and get killed in the process.

“But Declan, you going after him isn’t solving the problem. It’s just proving to him that you are the thug he has painted you to be,” I say desperately.

“I can’t worry about that now,” he tells me. “I have to protect my family, protect what my father has worked for.”

“But you said that he wanted so much more, that your dad has worked so hard to get you away from that life—”

“Yeah, well, I’m finding that is just how the world works.”

“Because you let it!” I shout. I just want to get through to him. He can be so much more; hewillbe so much more. He doesn’t have to go down this path.

He crosses the room to me and cups my face. “I am doing this for you, for us, for my brothers, for my dad. That’s what matters to me.”

“You aren’t doing this for me,” I tell him. “Don’t tell me that you going and trying to kill someone before they kill you is for me. I want you alive, and safe, not always running and scared.”

“I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I love you, Vivian, and I will take out anyone I have to that threatens you. I would gladly die in the process to make sure you are safe.”

My heart starts to crack in my chest. “I don’t understand why you think this is the only way,” I plead. I love that he wants to take care of me and keep me safe, and his family too. But I don’t want to be the reason he does something awful, like take a life, no matter how horrible that person is. Or worse, lose his own life.

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