Page 40 of The Dragon Queen

Butalso,howcanInot?

Ifmymateswerehere,they'dtakemeoutofmyheadwiththeirbodies.Andthenafterward,they'dcurlaroundmeinadelicious,sweaty,post-orgasmicheap.JianyuwouldaskinsightfulquestionsaboutthedifficultiesI'mhavingwithmytraining,andRafewouldtellmetotellRooktogotohell.MalikwouldpromisemethatI'mgoodenough,andStormwouldremindmewhoIam.

Imissthesex--naturally.ButIalsojustmissthem.

Iexhaledeeply,forcingmyselftounclenchmyfists.

Thisseparationwasmyidea.Ihadfaiththatourbondwasstrongenoughtohandleit,anditis.We'refine--I'mfine.

ButIhateit.

MyeyesstingandmyheartsqueezesasIthinkaboutanotherlonelynightinthathugeroomandthathugebed.

Asifshecanfollowmylineofthinking,Amyasks, "So,gotanyplanstonight?"

ItrynottosoundasdespondentasIfeel. "Notreally.Grabsomethingtoeatandtrytogetsomesleep.Maybehitthelibraryforabit."

Themostrareandmagicalbookswereallremovedfromthecastle'slibrarywhentheWaterDragonsevacuated,butitstillhasasurprisinglyvastcollection.We'vebeenslowlysortingthroughit,tryingtofindanyinformationthatcouldhelpmeregainmymagic--orthatcouldleadustotheCrownofCinders.Wehaven'thadanylucksofar,butI'mtryingnottolosehope.

Amyfixesmewithanappraisinglook. "Yeah,no."

"Whatdoyoumean?"

"Imean,alothasbeenhappeningaroundherewhileyou'vebeentrainingyourassoffandpiningoveryourguys."

Icrossmyarmsanddefinitelydon'tsulkwhenIsay, "Ihaven'tbeenpining."

"Uh-huh,sure."Shecastshergazeskyward. "Gogetcleanedup,okay?Andthenmeetmeinanhourinthecourtyard."

"But--"

"Nope."Sheshakesherhead. "I'mnottakingnoforananswer."Archingabrow,sheremindsme, "Youknowhowthisgoes."

Andyeah.Thisisn'tthefirsttimeshe'sinsistedonbreakingmeoutofmyall-work-no-playrut.

Anditprobablywon'tbethelast.

"WHOA."Istopinmytracksattheentrancetooneofthecellarsbeneaththecastle. "Sincewhenhasthisbeenhere?"

"Since...yesterday?"Amyguidesmeforwardthroughtheshockinglycrowdedspace. "TheoldownersoftheDragon'sFlagonwerebored,sotheywentexploringandfoundafewhundredkegsofmagicallypreservedboozeandaspacebigenoughtorigupsometablesandbam!TheDragon'sFlagonII."

Ilaugh,someofthetensionandexhaustionI'dbeenfeelingearliermeltingaway.

TheredecoratedcellarismissingsomeofthecharmofUnity'soriginalpub,butitmorethanmakesupforitbybeingcrammedfullofatleasthalfthetown'srefugees.

"Hey,Amy!Hi,Ember!"someonecalls.

IturnandwaveatafewofAmy'sfriendsImetattrivianight.Thatseemslikeitwasaboutadecadeago--howisitpossiblethatitwasonlyamatterofmonths?

Amypausestochatforasecond,butthenkeepsusmoving.There'samakeshiftbarsetupinthemiddleoftheplace,andsheordersusacoupleofpintsofwhatever'sontap.Drinksinhand,wecontinueonuntilwespotFreya,Jettandafewothersseatedatachunky,butcher-blocktableneartheback.

Aswepass,Ican'thelpbutnoticewhispers,andmyearsburnwiththeweightofstares.Morethanafewpeoplesmileatme,andIsmileback.Ivaguelyrecognizemostofthem;IdidliveinUnityforalittlewhilebeforeIstartedmyglobe-trottingadventures.ButwaymoreofthemknowwhoIamthanviceversa,whichmakessense,Iguess.

Itrytokeepabravefaceon,butinside,self-doubtisgnawingatme.

"Howcaneverybodybesmilingatme?"ImurmurasItakeaseat. "IgottheirtownransackedbyShadowDragons."

"AndAirDragons,"Freyaremindsme. "Ow!"ShefixesAmywithaglareandrubshershin.

---