Page 26 of Mad for Madison

I didn’t know anything. I only knew that I had dropped Bradley off at his grandmother’s place with a promise to see each other this afternoon. And when he was out, my fingers turned restless. Even my damn ears rang by the time I got out of the limo two streets away from the Peeling Palace.

Our apartment was quiet when I got there. I could guess my roommates’ whereabouts. Tristan was at Neon Nights, working, while Cedric was there to be near him. Mama Viv was more than happy to entertain His Highness in the bar, giving Cedric odd tasks to cure his idleness. Cedric, to be fair, gladly ran errands for Mama Viv, having been sheltered by Mama Viv when hisfamily tried to find him and bring him home for a marriage of convenience.

Roman and Everett were probably there, too, unless they were upstairs in Everett’s little room in Mama Viv’s apartment. But it was the door slamming in our apartment that reminded me of Lane and Oakley. The two shared the biggest room in the Peeling Palace, although it was anyone’s guess how long that would work for. It was a wonder neither had moved out by now, but I suspected that they would see moving out as the other one’s win, so they stayed despite hating each other. Whatever their rivalry was, it was none of anyone’s business. It hadn’t been present when they’d met at the first viewing, but they soon drew the lines of demarcation in the room, and so the cold war had begun.

I walked out of my room, where I had been pacing restlessly, and found Lane pouring himself a glass of water.

“Everything alright?” I asked.

Lane snorted. “Couldn’t be better.” He was a tall guy with broad shoulders and timeless, masculine beauty, completely opposite from his willowy roommate. I almost said something that wouldn’t be welcome in this situation and bit my tongue to keep myself silent. Lane turned around and glanced at me. “Look at you, all fancy like that.”

I waved my hand dismissively. “There was a thing. I had to be there.”

“Looks good on you,” Lane said.

My clothes were creased from spending a night on the floor while I snuggled against Bradley, but I didn’t point that out.

“There’s something else about you,” Lane said, examining me with his head cocked to one side.

I frowned a little. Was he starting to recognize me from some thumbnail? I hadn’t realized Lane bent that way. I’d always assumed he was straight.

“You look happy,” Lane said, only a hint of suspicion in his voice.

I laughed softly, brushing off his comment with a shake of my head. “Do I?”

Lane raised an eyebrow, leaning against the counter with his glass of water in hand. “Yeah, you do. It’s weird. You’re usually either stressed or…you know, ‘too cool to care.’” He smirked. “What happened? Did you win the lottery or something?”

I shrugged, feigning indifference. “Something like that.”

Lane didn’t buy it, though. He sipped his water, his gaze sharp and curious. “Whatever it is, you should keep doing it. You’re less of an asshole when you’re happy.”

I chuckled and turned to leave the kitchen, unwilling to entertain Lane’s probing any longer. “Thanks for the insight, Dr. Phil.”

“Anytime,” he called after me, the smirk evident in his voice.

Back in my room, the energy bubbling inside me refused to settle. Lane’s comment replayed in my head. Happy. Was I happy? It was such a foreign concept that I didn’t know how to process it.

I picked up my phone and opened Bradley’s text thread. No new messages since this morning, but I scrolled up, rereading his words from last night. His warmth and sincerity practically radiated from the screen. I closed my eyes, leaning back against the wall, and exhaled.

It scared me how easily he got under my skin. I wanted to be near him, but the fear of screwing it up—of being too much, or not enough, of pretending to be someone else, or worse, being myself—always lurked at the edges.

A knock on my door jolted me out of my thoughts. I opened it to find Oakley standing there, holding a steaming mug of coffee. “You look like you need this,” he said, shoving it into my hands without waiting for a reply.

“Thanks,” I muttered, caught off guard.

Oakley shrugged. “Don’t mention it. And stop pacing. You’re making the rest of us nervous.”

I closed the door with a small smile, the mug warm in my hands. The strangest things happened around here.

The coffee warmed me, but my nerves were a different story. I slipped into my winter jacket and scarf, checking the mirror by the door. My reflection stared back, seemingly confident in its polished exterior, but I knew better. Inside, I was a tangled mess of emotions—anticipation, hope, and that ever-present undercurrent of fear.

Bradley and Lily. Two people who embodied something I’d convinced myself was beyond my reach: normalcy. A sweet, uncomplicated connection. Family dinners. Laughter over spilled drinks. Unconditional acceptance.

Could I fit into that world?

I wanted to. Desperately.

Yet, the gnawing thoughts wouldn’t leave me alone. My life wasn’t built for normal. It was a carousel of bright lights and shadows, where appearances mattered more than the truth, and every choice was subject to scrutiny. Bradley thought it didn’t matter. But he would change his mind eventually. They all did. What would he think then? Would he still look at me with those soft eyes full of quiet admiration?

---