Page 48 of Mad for Madison

“Lying?” he repeated, his voice low and clipped. “To us? Or just to me?”

“To both of us,” I said, my voice barely audible over the downpour. The words scraped my throat on their way out, and I hated myself for saying them even as I knew I had to. “This…whatever this is between us—it’s not real, Bradley. It can’t be.”

Bradley flinched as if I’d struck him. He took a step back, his hands clenching at his sides. “Not real? You’re telling me the way you look at Lily isn’t real? The way you kiss me? The way you hold me when you think I’m asleep? That’s all fake?”

“I don’t know,” I said desperately, my voice rising. “Maybe it is! Maybe I’m just pretending to be the person you think I am. Maybe I don’t even know who that is anymore!”

Bradley’s laugh was sharp and bitter, cutting through the sound of the rain. “You’re full of shit, Madison. Don’t stand there and act like you don’t care. Don’t pretend like you don’t feel something for me—something for Lily. You’re just scared, and instead of dealing with it, you’re running away.”

“Because that’s all I know how to do!” I shouted, the words exploding out of me. “You don’t get it, Bradley. You don’t know what it’s like to live your whole life feeling like a fraud, like every good thing you touch is just waiting to be ruined because of who you are!”

Bradley took another step back, his chest heaving, his jaw tightening as if he were trying to hold himself together. “You don’t think I know what it’s like to be scared? To feel like I’m not good enough? Every damn day, I wake up wondering if I’m doing right by Lily, if I’m giving her the life she deserves. But you know what I don’t do, Madison? I don’t fucking give up.”

His words landed like blows, and I felt my knees weaken. “This isn’t about giving up,” I said, my voice breaking. “This isabout not dragging you and Lily into my mess. I can’t be what you need me to be, Bradley. I can’t.”

“Bullshit,” he snapped, his voice raw. “You’ve been enough from the moment you walked into our lives. You just don’t want to believe it because it’s easier to push us away than to take a damn chance.”

I shook my head, tears mixing with the rain as they streaked down my face. “I’m doing this for you,” I whispered, my words trembling. “You and Lily deserve better.”

“And who decides that, huh?” Bradley’s voice cracked, and he looked at me, his eyes glistening with something that shattered me. “You? You don’t get to decide what’s better for us. You don’t get to take yourself away from us like you’re doing us a favor.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice barely holding steady. “I’m so sorry, Bradley. But I can’t—I can’t stay.”

Bradley’s expression hardened, his jaw clenching as he fought for control. “Fine,” he said, his voice cold now, distant. “You want to leave? Go. But don’t you dare pretend this is for me or for Lily. You’re doing this because you’re too much of a coward to try.”

The word struck deep, cutting through my chest like a blade. I opened my mouth to respond, to fight back, but nothing came. I was empty. I was nothing, lost in a vast abyss.

Bradley shook his head, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of the moment had finally crushed him. “I thought you were different,” he said quietly, the words more to himself than to me. Then, without another word, he turned and walked back inside the building, his figure blurred by the rain.

I stood there, soaked and shivering, watching him go. My legs felt rooted to the ground, and my heart screamed at me to run after him, to tell him I’d made a mistake. But my feet didn’t move, and the door closed behind him with a soft, final click.

The rain fell harder, chilling me to the bone as I finally turned and walked away, each step heavier than the last, his umbrella dragging behind me, forgotten. I told myself this was the right thing to do, the only thing to do. But with every step, I felt myself breaking, piece by piece, until there was nothing left.

CHAPTER 11

Not Meant to Be

Bradley

Water drippedfrom my hair and clothes as I returned to the apartment, each step squelching against the hardwood floor. I didn’t care. I didn’t care about the rain, the puddle forming at my feet, or the warmth of the towel Gran handed me with a worried look.

“Has Madison left?” she asked softly, her voice cautious, like she already knew the answer to both questions that fit into those words.

I shrugged, unable to form the words. My throat felt tight, like swallowing glass, and my chest ached in ways I didn’t know were possible. Gran’s face softened in understanding, but she didn’t press me. She just patted my arm and quietly excused herself to check on Lily.

The silence of the apartment swallowed me whole as I collapsed onto the couch. My hands were shaking, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get the image of Madison’s face out of my head—his tears blending with the rain, his voice breaking as he said he couldn’t stay.

I clenched my fists, nails biting into my palms, as anger surged up to replace the pain. He didn’t even try. After everything—after us—he still chose to run.

I hated him for it.

And I hated myself for still wanting him to come back. For not trying harder to stop him.

Gran appeared again after some time. I had been sitting there in total ignorance of time and place. She had a cup of tea in her hands as she crossed the living room to the table before me. She set the cup on the table and pushed it across in my direction, taking a seat in her worn-out reading chair. “Darling,” she said softly.

“Not now, Gran,” I said, words coming out as a plea.

Gran didn’t say anything for a moment, just sat there, watching me with that patient gaze of hers that always seemed to strip me bare. I hated it. I hated that I couldn’t hide from her, couldn’t shove down the storm raging inside me.

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