Page 109 of The King's Maiden

But I couldn’t scream.

Because I couldn’t breathe.

I couldn’tbreathe.

The whole time, I couldn’t breathe, butI stayed alive.

And when the light left his eyes, and I knew he was really gone…in that moment, I didn’t want to do either one.

But death took without considering who was good or bad. It didn’t discriminate between who deserved to be taken and who should’ve been the one who lived.

And sometimes, death chosewrong.

It was my indecision that made him leave the house that night. My hesitation put us on that road.

My choice—itkilledhim.

I clawed at my neck, gasping for air I desperately needed but didn’t want. Black spots appeared at the edge of my vision.

A crash sounded behind me.

Landon’s hands gripped my face. His voice was muffled in my ears. Drowned out by the pounding of my heart as I relived it all over again.

As I survived to watch it end the way it always did.

My fault.

It was all my fault.

My dad was dead because of me.

He’d never breathe again. And I’d never hear his voice. Or listen to him as he sang along with the radio. Or have him read tome when I was sick in bed. Or hear him tell me everything would be alright.

And I couldn’t breathe.

I still couldn’tfuckingbreathe.

“Quinn, breathe!”

Landon’s voice pierced through the darkness, squeezing my face so tightly. Like he was trying to hold me together with his bare hands.

“Fucking breathe, dammit!”

I gasped.

Wheezing, I grasped onto Landon’s wrists and forced in heaving, gulping breaths. His face had gone completely white. And I didn’t know if he was shaking or if I was.

“You’re alright.”

“I’m sorry.” I sobbed, my vision blurring as tears streamed down my face. My body fell forward into his chest, hands gripping his shirt as the scent of lavender, freesia, and lemon filled my head.

But I knew that scent wasn’t really there. I knew Landon smelled like lavender andmint.And I knew I’d never find it again—the unique blend that reminded me of my dad—the smell that enveloped me each time he had wrapped me in a hug.

Because I’d never have one of those again, either.

“God, I’m so sorry.”

“You’re alright.” Landon rubbed my back as I sobbed out my regrets. Until the waves abated, and the tears slowed.

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