Page 107 of The King's Maiden

“I thought it was part of all this. I figured you were giving me time to come around initially, and I appreciated that. But now that I’ve come around—repeatedly, I might add—I guess I’m just confused why we haven’t gone further. If that’s not something you want…” I swallowed past the lump rising in my throat, pushing up on the bed so I could run off it if needed. “If you don’t want me like that, I?—”

“It’s not—” He snapped his mouth shut, frustration building in his expression as he ran a hand over his face. “You don’t understand what you’re asking me.”

“Yes, I do. I just don’t understand why you can’t give me a straight answer.”

His hand clenched in his hair. “I…”

“Either you want me, or you don’t.” My heart pounded in my chest. “So, which is it?”

He said nothing.

“If you don’t, then just say that. I’m a big girl. I can take it.”

His nostrils flared as his lips stayed shut.

I rose to my knees on the bed, shuffling over to him until I knelt in front of him. “If you do, then I’m just asking why we haven’t gone there. Because if you’re worried I’m not ready…”

“Quinn, please.” He exhaled, his voice barely a whisper as he said, “Don’t.”

At the same time, I said, “I am.”

His head fell. “I can’t.”

“You can’t? Or you won’t?”

“Does it really matter? Either way, the result is the same.”

“Yes, it matters.” I grabbed his hand, tugging on it to get him to look at me. When he withdrew, I pushed harder. “Can’t implies you’re not allowed. Won’t implies you refuse to let yourself do it. And if it’s the first—No, it shouldn’t be because the only person who has the right to decide who I do and don’t sleep with isme.”

He wouldn’t respond. And he wouldn’t look at me.

“If it’s the second, then I want to know why.”

More silence.

“Is it because I’m a virgin? Is that still a problem? Because I can go out for a bit and take care of that right now, if it means you won’t keep holding back with me.”

His head snapped up. “Don’t even—This isn’t a joke, Quinn.”

I waved a hand at his reaction, imploring him to see why it didn’t make sense—why I didn’t understand. “Okay, so you don’t want me to give that to anyone else, but you won’t take it yourself. Why?”

“You think this is what you want, Quinn, but you’re wrong. It’s not right. It would be a mis?—”

“A mistake? You think sleeping with me would be a mistake?”

“Taking that from you? What you’re asking me to do? It’s not as simple as you think.”

Old wounds tore open as the words left my mouth. But I couldn’t stop them. I couldn’t help but spit them out. “Why? Because it’s supposed to be fucking special or something?”

They burned my throat like battery acid.

Breathing hard, Landon retreated off the end of the bed.

“And so what if it’s that?” His voice rose. “What if I think it matters? That you deserve more thanthis.”

“That’s not up to you.”

“It is when you’re asking me to be involved!” he shouted, pacing the room. Staring as if I’d gone mad and taken him with me. He threw his hands up in the air. “Or do I not get a choice there, too?”

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