Page 33 of The King's Maiden

The admission weighed heavily on my tongue, pressing down with all the responsibility left on my shoulders. At that moment, I missed my dad more than ever, and I hated that he was gone. I hated what he might think of me if I went through with this—a thought only made worse when the truth hit me.

He couldn’t think about it at all.

And it killed me every single day because it was my fault.

Dead parents—even the best ones—couldn’t be a guiding light anymore. I never realized how much I had relied on mine, not as distinctly as I did right then, fumbling my way through this in the dark. I had been lost ever since that night on the mountain road, like I’d never find my way again. Every step I took left me wondering if I was on the right path, and to this day, I still didn’t know.

But all I could do was keep going—keep moving forward, keep feeling. Keep my eyes on the Knight in front of me and hope that he’d see me through this.

Freeing my bottom lip with his thumb, Landon’s eyes locked on my parted mouth. He tilted his head and searched my features for everything I wanted to hide. “What are you afraid of?”

My eyes dropped to the floor.

His finger tipped my chin, lifting my head until I looked him in the eye. “Tell me.”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “I’m scared of what it says about me if I do this. That I couldn’t find another way. Couldn’t survive without resorting to something like this. I feel like I just walked into a fucking viper’s nest. Everyone I’ve met—” Threading my fingers through my hair, I sought out my scar. “I’m scared of who I’ll be if I go through with it.”

Landon captured my wrist with his free hand and eased it away, circling his thumb over my pulse. It thrummed like a hummingbird’s wings.

My eyes dropped to his lips.

And a darker truth coiled inside me. A truth I needed to control if I intended to set it free. A truth prepared to bite me in the ass if I wasn’t careful. But even knowing I could regret this, I let the truth out.

“Mostly, I’m scared of how much I want it. I…I don’t know anything about you. Or this place or The Quest. Not really. But still, I…” I tried to look away, but his hold on my chin wouldn’t let me turn my head.

Landon didn’t want me to hide. He wouldn’t let me.

That scared me, too.

“I want to do this.” I reached for him, sliding my fingers through the belt loops in his pants and using them to pull him closer. “And I want to do it with you. If you’ll show me how.”

Pressing our bodies together, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

The air rushed out of me when he banded his arm around my waist and held me there. His cock hardened against my lower belly. “What do you say if you want me to stop?”

“I yield,” I responded instantly.

“And if you want me to slow down?”

“Mercy.” My eyes opened to find him staring down at me, his gaze like a flare of amber light in the darkness. “I ask for Mercy.”

He nodded, releasing my waist and nudging my hip gently. “Lie back on the bed.”

My voice trembled and my knees suddenly felt weak. “Face down?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I want to see you. I want…” Brushing a hand over my cheek, his eyes drank in my features in a way that made my chest ache. “But there are rules we have to follow.”

“Rules?”

“Mmhm.” He threaded his fingers into my hair, tugging lightly on the strands.

I groaned and let my head fall back. He’d somehow managed to pull on the hair right by my scar, and the damaged nerve endings lit up, sending a rush of tingles down to my toes. He had no idea how good that felt.

How much I hated that it did.

Or how much it reminded me why I needed to do this.

But his touch drowned out the guilt, allowing me to take in the pleasure. “Okay. Yeah. Rules…I agree.”

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