Page 44 of The King's Maiden

Rejoining her in the living room, I plopped onto the couch beside her. She had her legs thrown over the side, head resting on the cushions as she binge-watched some reality dating show.

I struggled to focus on the screen as my own drama replayed in my head.

“Gia, I went there fully intending to lose my virginity with one guy and ended up flirting with two more, eye fucking one’s bare chest as he cradled me in his ridiculously sculpted arms, and then let the other one kiss me when I should’ve been running away.”

Stuffing a handful of popcorn into her mouth, Gia shrugged. “I don’t see a problem there.”

I groaned, burying my face in my hands. “It was one thing to do The Quest when I had convinced myself I’d be unaffected by one guy. Get in, get the prize money, and get out.”

“With a few orgasms to boot,” Gia added. “A solid plan, if you ask me.”

“Yeah, except I was there for five minutes before meeting Max and wanting to climb him like a tree.”

“He sounds so hot.”

I glared at her. “You arenothelping.”

She shrugged again, eyes flicking between me and her reality show. “Agree to disagree. But anyway, so you met a hot guy at a party even though that wasn’t your plan. So what?”

“So, he blew me off out of nowhere. Then, two seconds later, another guy appeared and I flashed my bare thigh at him. I’m a…a trollop!”

Gia laughed, an errant popcorn kernel going down the wrong pipe. She coughed and sat up, thrusting her fist into her diaphragm until she cleared her throat.

I got up and patted her back, concerned by the tears rolling down her cheeks,untilshe caught her breath and kept laughing. I went back to my chair and sat down with a huff.

“You’re the worst,” I lied.

She wheezed out another laugh and wiped her cheeks. “Oh god, I’m sorry, but you seriously called yourself a trollop.” Grabbing another handful of popcorn, she tossed a few pieces into her mouth. “Man, I wish I could watch this whole thing on TV. Your solo interviews would be hilarious.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.” She tossed a piece of popcorn at me. “And you’re lucky to have me. Who else would stop you from shame spiraling after doingabsolutely nothingwrong?”

I smothered my face with a couch pillow. “I almost lost my virginity in a sex dungeon.”

“And what? You want a bed with rose petals?” She quirked an eyebrow, pulling a red vine candy out of the bag beside her and chewing on the end. “Candles? A bit of poetry? So you could lose your V-card in a romantic fantasy?”

“Maybe,” I grumbled. “It’s supposed to be special, isn’t it?”

“Sure, if that’s important to you. But first times are usually awkward and uncomfortable and don’t always live up to the fantasy in your head. What you might get instead sounds hot and actually satisfying. Why second-guess it?”

I tugged at the hair on my scalp.

“I didn’t sleep with my ex because I wanted it to mean something…But then, I just planned to give it up like it doesn’t mean anything?”

Tears pricked my eyes. The memory of that night, and the results of my choice, were still as fresh and painful as ever.

Gia caught sight of my expression and was at my side in a flash. Her arm looped around my shoulders, pulling me into her hug as she freed my hair from the tangle of my fingers.

“It’s not your fault, Quinn.”

A bitter laugh burst out of me.

“It’s absolutely my fault he’s dead, Gia. And I have to live with that by myself for the rest of my life. Just like I have to live with the rest of my choices.” I wiped my face with my sleeve, shoving the heavy weight of loss down as it threatened to overwhelm me. “The least I could do is make choices he’d be proud of.”

Gia took my face in her hands, forcing me to meet her eyes. “He wanted you to make choices that madeyouhappy, not other people. That’s what you told me he said to you, right?”

I nodded, thinking about my dad’s last words to me.

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